Christmas Travel outside of 23-27 window: AIBU?

[ProvisionallyAnxious]

I live at the opposite end of the UK from my parents, who are desperate to see my DD (18 months) at Christmas. I'd been planning on travelling down and back up over 2 days (because toddler), so aiming to leave our home on 22nd and arriving at parents on 23rd, and then leaving 27th and continuing to travel on 28th. However this would mean us travelling outside of the easing period for travel restrictions. We would inevitably be travelling between tiers but would only stop to get out of the car to go to the toilet and get petrol.

If we only travelled within the 5 day period we'd basically be spending 4 of those days in the car and only 1 with my parents, which given the hell of long-distance travel with a toddler seems ridiculous. They're allowing people travelling from NI an extra day on either side which makes sense for the logistics and extra travel time involved, but seems unfair on people making long journeys from elsewhere in the country.

AIBU to travel on either side of the window and pay any fines that might come our way? Reality check please Mumsnet -- what would you all do?

We (used!) to drive to France a lot, 16 hours. Would load the kids up after an early dinner and plough through. I wouldn't bother with the hotels. At 18 months sticker books and snacks will see DD through until she falls asleep.

Just go for it without the hotels. The drive is a long slog but we've done longer and you soon forget it

I drive at night to get to my parents' as it means a quicker journey and fewer stops as DD will sleep through the journey.

It's a shorter journey than yours (just shy of 300 miles) but I find that the difference in driving time is stark between traveling day time (6 hours if only a very quick toilet/sandwich stop) and night time (4.5 hours).

We have our main meal at lunch time, then a quick tea (high protein, low carb for the driver is useful for not getting sleepy), then DD into pyjamas, have a last wee and we're off. She then has her bedtime milk in the car (when she was still BF, I'd feed as the very last thing). We generally set off at 7 and I've altered the route slightly since Covid so that we get off the motorway a little earlier and onto an A road where it's quicker to stop for a quick stretch legs and wee if necessary, without having to go into a big horrible service station.

This works really well for us and DD loves 'car bedtime'. It has become an exciting part of going to the DGP.

As a side note, we will be 'breaking the rules' over Christmas. This is because we've made a family decision that DD and I should isolate before heading up there and it's ludicrous for us to isolate for 14 days to only be able to have a short trip. My dad's health is not at all good and it will be a welcome break for my mum to have us there and me to do the cooking etc. and help look after DDad while she has a nice time with DD.

[quote ProvisionallyAnxious]@Womencanlift we could potentially fly -- though this would worry me more in many ways. Partly being in crowded settings but also relying on my parents for carseat etc (having seen the carseat they use for my DNephew I had always sworn we'd always go down with our own car and seat!).[/quote]
You can take car seats on the plane you know. Most airlines will check them in free.

We've done a lot of long trips with the DC. It's definitely doable!

A tablet will make a world of difference. Get a tablet online ASAP (black Friday deals are on right now) if you don't already have one. Then download videos onto it and games that can be played offline.

I always felt headphone wires were too much of a choking risk if I was in the front of the car and the DC in the back. The solution - Either get a set of wireless headphones for your DD or accept you'll need to sit in the back with her if you don't want to hear the audio of whatever she's playing with. Volume limited earphones for kids are better for their ears.

Let DD play with it before the journey so she gets used to holding it herself and wearing the headphones.

Bring plenty of snacks.

Bring a blanket and cuddly toy for DD.

YY to sticker books.

If you have a choice, try to choose roads where it's not too far in between safe spaces to stop, just in case you need to. Motorway driving with a screaming child where there's no chance to pull over and comfort them is a nightmare!

@Gabsalot I don't think the visiting window should be longer, I just think they should have made an exception (as they have for NI) for people travelling long distances by car, since I don't see how the risk is increased by us being in the car on the 22nd vs the 23rd. If anything giving people slightly longer to travel long distances is more likely to reduce risk since there'll be fewer people on the roads / service stations at any one time.

That said, posters here have convinced me of the wisdom of trying for a one-day drive.

I’d leave at midnight transfer child to car asleep take turns driving if you need to, arrive 23rd am for brunch and a nap.

Doesn’t the window depend on what tier you’ll both be in? Tiers 1 and 2 weren’t stopped from travelling last time

For those who travel overnight - if you travel all night, surely that messes up the rest of your trip as you're knackered or catching up with sleep?!

I think of course it’s fine. Just plan your stops within tier 2 areas when we find them out later this week.

travellng home even if your are stopped as long as youre on your way i dont think they'll be that bothered

Btw after half an bout in the car my 18 month old starts screaming and being sick (and yes, we do iPad). I had this with my first too.
It would absolutely take me 2 days to travel half way round the U.K.!

Why don’t they come to you? Less hassle that way!

Your parents could drive to you or meet somewhere half way. You're allowed to stay in rented accommodation with your Christmas bubble, so rent an air bb half way and each do the manageable 4 hour drive.

I was just listening to News Beat on Radio 1 and travel outside the Christmas window would be subject to local tier restrictions.

Assuming you both drive, I wouldn't even stop the car for that long at each 'rest' point. We just swap drivers, put more fuel in or get more snacks/toilet break and keep on going. You could easily just move one adult to the backseat for a bit to feed the toddler while driving still and then stop again once toddler is fed to move the adult back to the front seat if necessary.

8.5 hours is easily doable in one day. No idea why you'd fork out money for a hotel twice to be honest.

The period of three households together is when you are in the house. Stopping overnight unless you are in tier 3 will be permitted, though I'd not be confident of large parts of the country being in tier 2 or tier 1.

I'd suggest trying the one day drive, or alternatively, is the train (or even plane) an alternative?

I think the tiers are susoended for the 5 days arent they ? Or have I misunderstood that ?

Know your own limits with driving. Be careful.

@nosswith

The period of three households together is when you are in the house. Stopping overnight unless you are in tier 3 will be permitted, though I'd not be confident of large parts of the country being in tier 2 or tier 1.

I'd suggest trying the one day drive, or alternatively, is the train (or even plane) an alternative?

Train - they'll be lucky to even get a ticket unless they do it ASAP. Just looked at the route we take to visit GPs (a major UK city to another major UK city several hours away) for 23 December.

Most tickets are sold out, there are only a few trains left.

And then - the trains will be absolutely packed with people. Including, most likely, some of the numpties you get on here "I know I've got symptoms that sound like covid, but I haven't had a test and I just have to get home for Christmas AIBU to take the train".

I've done a lot of train journeys with DC too, and they're grand if the train is fairly empty and you can get up and walk about. But if it's packed and your DC don't want to sit down or are upset and making noise, it's a nightmare!

I'd much rather drive than get on a train come Christmas, it'll be chaos!

Tiers are suspended for the 5 days but OP wants to travel outside of the 5 days, which I think is allowed unless either of them are in tier 3

We used to drive through the night when ours was little. Only my husband drove then. So he would have a couple of hours nap then we’d set off after tea. Less traffic too

We’re going to drive home in the morning on the 28th. I know it’s “against the rules” but, realistically, it’s not going to make any difference to anything other than making my life easier, so I’m doing it.

I would do it because it's yet another rule that doesn't make a whole lot of sense when many parts of mainland UK are much further apart than to Northern Ireland! Personally I could not be driving through the night even if I had someone to share the driving with. My only concern would be if the hotels had to close due to tier restrictions BUT I guess some have to stay open for essential workers who are eligible to travel?

I wouldn't do it. Too stressful and you will have to break the rules to do it. Just stay at home.