To think ex was being a twunt?

[BritishIdiot]

It was ds 3rd birthday the other day, all excited and hyer as they are at that age! Exp came over to celebrate with us. Exp was building a garage with ramps contraption for ds, when ds got a little impatient and pulled a gate off - not broke just pulled it out of its fitting. Ex totally lost it. "What did you do that for you're breaking it, I don't CARE if its your birthday I'm taking the toy away, you're not having it." He proceeded to put it in the kitchen out of ds reach all the while ranting on and on at him. Poor ds sat in his tent sobbing. "Daddy took my present."

Ds had been grazing all day on birthday treats as they do. Come dinner time he ate half of his dinner but really really wanted his cake. Ex refused to let him have his birthday cake until he ate, in his mind, a satisfactory amount of dinner. Practically force feeding him when he clearly didn't want it. "You are not having cake until you eat your dinner."

Now I'm all for discipline, getting the kids to eat, behave appropriately etc, but come on its his birthday cut the poor lad some slack.

This is the narcissist ex p that loves to ruin EVERY SINGLE special occasion somehow.

AIBU?

I think I worded that incorrectly. He didn't force feed as in hold him down and make him eat. It was more "one more fork full or no cake" repeat repeat repeat. I did not like the. I understand no desert unless you eat your dinner but it was his birthday cake fgs.

I understand no desert unless you eat your dinner

I don't. It has never made sense to me. "You cannot have that food unless you eat more of this food first." Either dessert is on offer or it is not, but earning food by eating food is just a weird concept.

I'm not strict on it by any means but if I fully had that stance none of the kids would eat their veg etc and go straight for the ice cream!!

I hope you’ve learned not to let him come round for special occasions in future.

The ex came over

He was in YOUR house

My ex treat my children like this, he would be asked to leave and return when in a better frame of mind

Daddy took my present actually brought a tear to my eye 😭

@unmarkedbythat

I understand no desert unless you eat your dinner

I don't. It has never made sense to me. "You cannot have that food unless you eat more of this food first." Either dessert is on offer or it is not, but earning food by eating food is just a weird concept.

Because in the real world kids and adults can't just have ice cream and cake for their meals?

So don't offer dessert at all. It's really simple. Either the food is ok to eat at that meal or it is not. Insisting it can only be eaten after other food has always seemed really odd to me.

In the real world, we are all different.

@unmarkedbythat
I understand no desert unless you eat your dinner

how bizarre

I never make my children finish their plate. But no way would I just say “you can bypass the roast chicken, carrots, broccoli and potatoes and go straight to chocolate brownie and ice cream”

Why? Because the main meal is a shed load more nutritionally valuable than the dessert.

You would?

Update, I briefly told him I think he's a repulse vile bully and it's not okay to treat his son that way especially on his birthday.

His response "you let your daughter get away with everything just let our two kids aswell then." (my teen dd is the most polite, sweet, funny, considerate, studious friendly girl. I think he means because I let her eat pizza in her room on a Fri evening).

He's infallible don't you know

What an arsehole. Cut all contact with him