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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that other mums at swimming dish out chocolates

33 replies

Belgianchocolates · 18/10/2007 23:06

after the lesson. Last week my dd's loot was 2 chocolate bars, more than she normally has in a week. It's a difficult one 'cos you can't really say no while she sees all the other lo's chomping away on chocolate and the other mums do it to be nice. But I'm quite strict with sweets at home AND I never asked for them to do it either. They're all total strangers.

OP posts:

naturopath · 18/10/2007 23:08

YANBU. I would feel equally annoyed.

katwith3kittens · 18/10/2007 23:29

IMO YANBU, but if you look at the thread I've just started in this section on biscuits at coffee mornings then pretty much everyone else will tell you that YABU !

I've left them squabbling amongst themselves... I'm obviously not in that clique

mamazon · 18/10/2007 23:30

i dont think it unreasonable to not want your child eating 2 chocolate bars but maybe you could say that she can have one and teh otehr is to be saved for anotehr time.

oranges · 18/10/2007 23:34

stop taking her swimming?

onlygirlinthehouse · 18/10/2007 23:39

YANBU if that is what you think is right for your child, but is a couple of choc bars so bad?!? As long as the culture in your own home is for something else, ie fruit or even rice cakes that will overide the outside influences. You do have to accept that you cannot control everything that your children eat, and if you try to you possibly end up giving them more of a complex than if you try and be a bit laid back about it.

cat64 · 18/10/2007 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lljkk · 19/10/2007 06:50

I think it depends on the age of the child. A 5yo having 2 chockie bars is a lot and probably means displacing a balanced meal later. A 10 yr old will devour them and go home and be begging to raid the cupboards after a large tea and another pudding....

rydercup · 19/10/2007 07:08

Katwith3kittens - just to say that I don't think YABU re the biscuits at coffee mornings thing - I had exactly the same issue with it...not least because my DS would trough biscuits at about 11am and then therefore no lunch which really used to drive me mad! I could not influence it at other peoples NCT coffee mornings...but at mine I did the kids a huge platter of fruit and I tell you something they troughed that just as well as the biscuits...and by the way...I am a mum to 2 aswell (oh my.........that should shock them on the other thread!!). And belgian chocolates...YANBU in my opinion either. Another thing that used to wind me up is my kid leaving pre-school at 12pm with a packt of haribo or some such delight because it is somebodys birthday. Talk about making a mums life difficult...hungry 3 year old...packet of haribo...strict mummmy...prepare for a meltdown. It used to really tee me off!!!! And no....I do let my kids have party food/fruit shoots etc....at parties though!!!

belgo · 19/10/2007 07:15

YANBU. Other mothers you don't know giving your dd chocolate bars? I wouldn't like that.

niceglasses · 19/10/2007 07:16

Keep one till later - thats what I do. Two bars off the bat, yes, too much, so have one, save one.sorry, don't see the problem.

Original poster

Belgianchocolates · 19/10/2007 08:10

My DD is 3. I would personally never do it as I know not everyone is happy for their dc's to have chocolate. With my son there used to be a mum who dished out crisps, which I didn't mind as much as it was about lunch time anyway and he could have them with his sandwiches for a weekly treat.
Chocolate on the other hand I find too much, especially at 10.30 am. 2 Chocolate bars, even worse and I'm dreading it's a sign of soon all mums giving out chocolate to everyone. Can you imagine 8 chocolate bars per child !

OP posts:

Oblomov · 19/10/2007 08:18

YABU. Children desperatly require carbohydrate after swimming. Chocolate may not be your choice. A banana would be best. So just accept graciuosly and put them away for another time. No big deal, surely. Shocked at oranges suggestion, that this is good enough reason to stop taking them swimming.

oranges · 19/10/2007 08:37

it was a joke....

Oblomov · 19/10/2007 08:41

oh o.k. sorry
I have seen food police, suggest such things before.

Eddas · 19/10/2007 08:46

YANBU if they give her chocolates, I thought from the title that she wanted them because others were getting them and you felt obliged IYSWIM.

DD started swimming lessons in Sept and a lot of them get something from the machine afterwards but seems odd that other parents give your dd something I wouldn't do that and would give it back to the parent and say thanks but no thanks. Adding something like she had some before we came or she's having some after her diner tonight(even if this is a fib)

morningglory · 19/10/2007 08:51

Why don't you just talk to the other mums and tell them that you would prefer it if the didnt give your daughter chocolate?

casbie · 19/10/2007 08:54

we've only given out sweets (small packet of haribo) when it was swimming on ds actual birthday!

we usually give them a banana and a drink of water from a flask, mainly because we can't afford spending money on the machine for the three of them.

i've seen someparents buy crisps and chocolate just to keep the other siblings quiet while watching the swimming lesson.
just to keep them quiet!

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 19/10/2007 09:33

yanbu but how nice of them to include your child

katwith3kittens · 19/10/2007 11:52

Rydercup - we'd get on well... you should come round for a coffee..... and a rice cake

Gobbledispook · 19/10/2007 11:58

God I just can't get excited about this stuff. What's it going to do to them? Kill them?

Really, is there nothing more important to worry about?

MrsCarrot · 19/10/2007 11:59

I did actually stop going to a particular swimmming class because the parents there were very cliquey and frankly weird about the food afterwards. I gave ds1 some fruit once and they rolled their eyes and said, 'fruit, how healthy' in a snidey way. He had biscuits the week before so it wasn't like I was being smug, it was just all I had that day.

In fact it still really annoys me that I didn't say anything, we just got changed and went to different class. I must let it go though - it was years ago now!

Original poster

Belgianchocolates · 19/10/2007 12:12

It's not as if my dc's don't eat chocolate or biscuits, I just keep it for mealtimes as it's better for their teeth. I don't want the dcs to get used to getting chocolate everytime they go swimming. I feel that kind of thing needs to be a treat or a reward for something (e.g. for my ds this week because he swam without his floaties for the first time ever and had been v woried about going into the water without them) and if they have it too often it's not a treat anymore.
BTW her loot this week was a bag of iced jems and some milky bar buttons. I told her she can share the 2nd bag as a desert with her bb after lunch.

OP posts:

Gobbledispook · 19/10/2007 12:13

Yes, if it was after swimming I'd probably take them off them and hold on to them for after tea (swimming for mine is 4.30-5pm)

MaryBleedinShelley · 19/10/2007 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lorayn · 19/10/2007 12:15

I'd be quite annoyed with people giving DD chocolate after a swimming class, but kat, tbf, I think biscuits at a coffee morning are totally different.

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