To ask if you are in debt?

[Maries2020]

I know it's a personal question, and maybe I'm trying to ease my guilt, but I've been in debt ever since I've worked (age 17), I'm now 32 I'm still in debt by around 16k, most is old credit cards and car finance (written off by my ex) and I can't see a way out, I am out of work do to looking after my baby but I feel like even going back I'm going to forever be in in debt. I'm a single mum and I don't feel like I'll ever get a job that could ever catch up with my debt let alone having any savings to support my child. I have nothing to show for my debt and I guess I just feel like an absolute failure in life.

Speak to Christians Against Poverty (CAP) - you don't have to be religious, or StepChange. They will help you and there are no fees. Also make sure you really understand your incomings and outgoings. May need a DMP for example but depends on the figures.

I’ll second that, you need support from an agency that can help you formulate a workable plan.
At 30, I left my husband due to DV, was homeless for 6 months, spent the next 15 years getting my life back on track. I’m now retired, paid off my mortgage last year, have a small pension and live my life. You’ll get there x

You're not a failure. Try not to be too hard on yourself. As PP said enlisting the help of a specialist can really help. At the moment it seems overwhelming but having help will make it easier.

I’m not in debt now (apart from student loans, but I treat that as a tax)

But I got into several thousand pounds worth of stupid bad debt in my twenties, credit cards, overdraft, unauthorised overdraft, and worst of all pay day loans. It was a total nightmare and I buried my head in the sand for as long as I could, but eventually getting on a debt management plan was the best, most adult decision I ever made! They weren’t remotely judgemental even though I felt utterly stupid and ashamed as I told them all my debts. It was such a relief, they were so calm and reassuring, I’m eternally grateful.

I definitely recommend a DMP, they’ll talk to your creditors and usually get interest and charges frozen for you. They’ll help you budget and approach your creditors with a proposed repayment plan. I think coming from a third party company has a bit more weight behind it than just you approaching creditors yourself, all of mine accepted what was offered with no issues and I think all but one froze the interest, might even have been all of them I can’t remember now.

Only student loans.
I did get a credit card at 18 and ran up £1k of debt (mostly paying rent after I lost my job) which my parents kindly paid off when I got pregnant. Never been in debt since.

As PP have suggested, you need help and there are some great organisations who can work with you to sort it out.

You should join the debt free wannabe forum on money saving expert. It's brilliant! I'm not in debt now aside from student loan and mortgage but I was previously and it is possible with support to clear it and build something up. You're not a bad person!

We are too OP. About the same level. I have a plan and we'll get out of it but it's depressing seeing how far there is to go!

There is a free tool called undebt.it which I find quite good, it compares the results of paying debts off in different orders using the snowball method - that's where you set everything to the minimum possible payment except the one you're focusing on, which you throw every spare penny at. Once one debt is cleared, instead of thinking oh great, that's an extra £100 in my pocket every month (or however much) you put the £100 towards your "snowball" to get it cleared quicker. The more you clear, the more you can put towards other debts.

Second the recommendation of money saving expert as well.

Must admit, we are doing a bit of a "snowball lite" - one debt is gone but next month I'll only put half of the amount from that payment towards our other debts.

I am but I've just entered into an iva which feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Yes I am

I had to go on a payment plan (Payplan) was the best thing I did. I pay what I can and interest is frozen

It does take a while (a few months) to set up but found they were very helpful and understanding and I pay the same amount every month which is affordable

MSE DFW is great but what changed my perspective and transformed things this year was following my frugal year on Instagram and her book Real Life Money (see if you can get it from the library?) she is in the midst of paying off her £27k debt and understands what it is like to be a mum in 30s with the complicated feelings of big debts. I think being able to face it and then make a plan and a way through is the key. Definitely talk to step change- they’ll advise on best plan for you.

4 years ago I was nearly where you are. 14k debt but in 2 days time (after payday) I'll be paying my very last payment and be finally in the black. You can do this, the first step in confronting it is the first and hardest step.

I’ve got credit cards that have like £500 -£1000 which I keep swapping to 0% interest cards. In total I’m about 3.5 k in debt. I don’t have an overdraft so that’s helpful, and any spare cash which is almost never goes towards paying for them. It got like that when work was a bit slow and tax credits were being assholes. Things are a bit better now so I pay off anything I spend on my main credit card. Hoping to clear most by next summer.

That’s great Delphine have a small treat to celebrate.

OP no because I have never bought anything I didn’t have the money for I was brought up like that and the only debt my children have is their mortgages. If we needed anything we saved up for it first and they have done the same. Get some support and even if you are only paying off a small bit at a time do it. You will feel a real sense of achievement when you have done it.

Try Martin Lewis he has lots of information on his website. You could even try asking him for help as he does take some cases on.

Don’t be too hard on yourself - it’s easily done, and very hard to climb out of if you’re low waged.

It’s also very common - no need to feel like a failure.

However- it’s remedied quite easily through regular, small steps.

Call StepChange debt charity or Christians against poverty as others have suggested- they’ll make you a repayment plan which is affordable and will actually get the debt down. You’ll feel so good when you see it going down!

Don’t despair, but do act- don’t bury your head in the sand. You can do this; you can turn it around. Good luck.

No, apart from the mortgage. I really dislike debt though so save for anything before buying. Debt worries me, especially now I have dependents.

You can teach your child to be mindful of money as they grow up, show them a work ethic etc. Whilst they are small they won’t know any different and don’t need days out etc so you can plough as much of your salary as possible onto debt but the longer out of work the longer and harder the debt will be.

Contact Stepchange debt charity.

They can offer you a free debt management plan.

I got into debt like you at 18 when I first worked etc and I racked up 20k by the time I was 24. In just under three years, I cleared it all by this summer just gone.

I felt like you a failure and thought because of my age at the time, really depressed.

Contact Stepchange and they'll help you.

Do you have any family and friends that could help with childcare when you could work?
Could you retrain and go to uni for a career as a mature student?
I know with a job under 16 hours a week, you can get top ups from universal credit but I know how hard it is to find a part time job.

Write down all your outgoings on a spreadsheet including like subscriptions.

Cancel the ones you don't use.

Find a better energy tariff, phone tariff (maybe go SIMO) and other utilities.

Then after you've took money off for food, see how much you've got left and then divide it by how many days in the month. Use only that amount etc.

That helped me clear my debts etc in that time.

Only thing I've got now though is defaults and that can set you back six years but by then you could save for a house as well etc.

Yes I am.

I have spoken to StepChange before - they can't help unless you're really struggling to pay stuff back.

You will need to go on a payment plan which affects your credit file for 6 years - you likely won't be able to get a mortgage while it's on there, if that is a consideration.

It's worth having the conversation, sure, but just bear in mind it's not quite the miracle that some people are saying it is.

These comments really have helped, I was so split about this but I feel like it's quite clear I should do a DMP now, I hated the idea of not having credit for years and always being on the back foot but it sounds like it'll be a weight off my shoulders x

2.5 hrs ago I kicked out my emotionally abusive narc husband. I was 7.5k in debt.

I had less than 500 left to pay by February this year and after 2 years of using all spare money to pay off debt I had a wonderful year planned.

Then covid happened, then I lost my job.

I'm employed again now thankfully but I now have about 900 left to pay.

It's shit.

@MustardMitt

This is my worry too, it effecting my credit for years to come and not being able to get on the ladder ever unless I find a well paid job. I know my credits doomed for 6 years and was given bad advice to ignore and now I have debt collectors at my door and the stress is tok much. It is depressing thinking how many years I'd have to wait and may never get on the property ladder but comments on here I feel it probably is my best and maybe only option x

It's worth having a conversation with a couple of places.

I've got around £25k of debt which is manageable - but without it I'd have an extra £800 spare a month, I kick myself daily that I allowed myself to let it get so ridiculously high. What I have found helped is doing the following:

• see if you can find a loan to consolidate as much as possible onto a low rate
• see if you can transfer as much as possible to a 0% credit card (Virgin have good deals IME)
• pay on time, and preferably a little more (if you can) over the minimum payments on cc. It looks good to lenders and you become a more 'stable' prospect
• don't be afraid to move money around a lot. I moved money to a 0% MBNA card from a Virgin card where the 0% ran out. I closed the Virgin card - three months later I've opened another account as I qualify again for the 0% offer
• it's really not a savers market at the moment. If you have any savings at all, I'd recommend ploughing it all into the debt. Even a fiver here and there makes a difference
• having said that, I have the Chip app. I love it. Every few days it squirrels about £15 into a completely separate account I can't see or do anything with - I don't notice it's gone, so at the end of the month I transfer it back and allocate it somewhere
• Look for account switching deals and do them! My sister got £200 to switch to HSBC (I think)

Good luck! Deep breaths, you can and will do it - but it's a marathon not a sprint.

(sorry a lot of those might be for when the debt collectors are kept at bay for a while)

There is a light at the end of the tunnel OP. You need a plan. I’ve been in that position and I’d speak to your bank. Explain you’re struggling and ask for help.

I wouldn’t advise using step change - they completely screwed me financially