To ask if you are in debt?

[Maries2020]

I know it's a personal question, and maybe I'm trying to ease my guilt, but I've been in debt ever since I've worked (age 17), I'm now 32 I'm still in debt by around 16k, most is old credit cards and car finance (written off by my ex) and I can't see a way out, I am out of work do to looking after my baby but I feel like even going back I'm going to forever be in in debt. I'm a single mum and I don't feel like I'll ever get a job that could ever catch up with my debt let alone having any savings to support my child. I have nothing to show for my debt and I guess I just feel like an absolute failure in life.

@Cyllie33

Thank you. Can I ask how they screwed you up, was it do to your credit remaining low for longer? I was edging towards calling stepchange but now I'm confused again lol

You're worried about it screwing your credit for 6 years but would you be able to save up for a deposit while also paying your debt back within that 6 years?

Whatever gets the debt paid off is better in my eyes

@MustardMitt

Thanks for your advice, I'm past that stage unfortunately as my credit is so poor so can't consolidate. I defaulted after losing my job and becoming a single mum, I received bad advice at the time and buried my head in the sand as I didn't feel I had enough to pay any of them

I was in a lot more debt than any of the amounts mentioned here after a messy and protracted divorce. When I finally contacted Stepchange and took out a DMP things began to sort themselves out. It took me 9 years to become debt free but I felt supported every step of the way.
I've been debt free for over 3 years now. I just wish I'd taken action earlier.

I had about the same amount of debt like you in my twenties, but I was alone at the time. It took me a little bit more then four years to sort out my debt. I spent my money just on basics - rent, utilities, food. If I lived in UK, i would have probably lived on yellow stickers food - I so envy you on yellow stickers, nothing like that in my country.

I was lucky my friends couldn't care less where we meet so we spent years playing board games eating pancakes (cheapest get together meal) and walking around town and talking for hours.

Congrats @DelphineWalsh

My ex flatmate years ago was in similar amount of debt and used a debt consolidation company who contact the debtors and get it written off etc. It screwed up his credit file etc and he couldn't even get a debit card allowing payments (just one to use at cash machines) but he's now fine a decade late. I doubt he'd have paid it off in that time.

Apologies just saw your update!

If you're on a low income and have no assets like a property its likely that a debt relief order will be the way to go. That means that if you have no chance of having enough surplus income to pay off your debts in the short to medium term, they can be written off - this will stay on your credit record for 6 years but after that you should be able to get a credit builder card to pay for a small amount of essentials each month, pay it off and be on the road to building the sort of credit record that will enable you to get a mortgage if you're in a position to do so.

But you need to have a good idea of your incomings and outgoings and all debts. You could make a start with the Moneysavingexpert money makeover and follow the debt advice it will signpost you to:

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/money-help/

When setting your budget, don't worry about making it too lean - it has to be sustainable without borrowing so needs to account for annual and irregular expenses and a grocery budget that includes toiletries, cleaning products and small sundries like batteries, printer ink,
lightbulbs etc.

But first you need a good handle on your