Advice for a friend. Not sure if she can do this or not

[Assistingfriend]

So my friend is married and lives in a house her husband owned before they were married. They have 4 children ranged between 1 and 7

Her husband wants to seperate. But he will not divorce her. She wants to stay together but he doesn't. He has a few properties so obviously doesn't want to give half to her.

Anyway. She doesn't work as she gave up her career to raise children. Her name is not on any properties as they were bought before they even knew each other

She will need to claim universal credit as they are no longer together and he has moved out. He has said she can stay living in the house on the condition she pays rent... The problem is she would have to claim this on universal credit. Is this possible? Would they accept this as they are still married and he will not divorce. She doesn't have any savings to apply for divorce her self. Her name is not on his bank account either if that makes a difference. She's in a real state and has 4 children to think about. I don't know if he will give her maintenance etc or if he is going to be difficult

Tia

She needs legal advice and probably a forensic accountant. But not show her hand at all at this stage.

Is there any paperwork on the property and any other assets her husband owns? If so, advise her to get copies of this ASAP, bank statements, mortgage details, pension, investments, pay slips and p60s etc. And to do this before he realises she’s going to divorce him to try to get at least half of everything.

Thanks all. They are registered as married here. One thing she did do was when she came her they got legally married here too. She was told to do this by a family friend if hers.

Ok I'm going to speak to her and I know I shouldn't but going to go see a solicitor with her. My mum will watch her kids. She's a lovely friend. If I can I might help with the divorce costs as I read it's about £500 to do it yourself. .?

Don't take the advice here as gospel. It's simply not true that she's automatically entitled to half of anything.

Legal advice is the only route to go down. Tbh, a DIY divorce won't suit under circumstances. She needs a shit hot lawyer to ensure she gets a decent settlement.

Agree with PPs. She needs legal advice. Posters on here will tell you what you want to hear but it isn't necessarily accurate. For one, they don't even know which country your friend lives in or her marital status as pointed out by other posters.
If they are legally married and if she is in England then yy she might have a claim to the house. But you should arrange for her to speak to Women's Aid or CAB. They will be able to advise. And it's imperative she has correct advice as early as possible so she doesn't do anything to jeopardise her position.

I think that if she is fleeing domestic abuse or similar then there is leniency regarding bubbles etc. also as a single person she can have you as her extra person, so let that be one less worry for her

@Assistingfriend

Thanks all. They are registered as married here. One thing she did do was when she came her they got legally married here too. She was told to do this by a family friend if hers.

Ok I'm going to speak to her and I know I shouldn't but going to go see a solicitor with her. My mum will watch her kids. She's a lovely friend. If I can I might help with the divorce costs as I read it's about £500 to do it yourself. .?

That's something, at least the courts will help. Is he claiming religious beliefs stop him divorcing or is he being openly spiteful? Only you know what you can afford to write off. £500 is a few quid to give away. I 100% would to make sure the fucker doesn't fleece her

Don't do it yourself, this should only be really used for simple divorces involving no assest, no children and both parties wanting to go their own ways.

Get her to talk to woman's aid and see what they suggest

He obviously wants to stay married so he doesn't have to share his assets with her. She needs a good lawyer.

They got legally married here too. She was told to do this by a family friend if hers

That family friend was very wise

I agree with many PPs that proper legal advice is crucial; depending on what their heritage is, I just hope she doesn't come under pressure to do this through some "community representative", when what she actually needs is thoroughly impartial advice

@tattychicken

They both own the house, it's the marital home. She doesn't need to pay rent on a house she owns, but she should find out what the situation is with the mortgage. She can claim UC without the housing element.

This is a common MN trope, and entirely wrong. Only the husband owns the house. It literally says that in the first post on this thread. The wife has the right to live there as she has marital homes rights. That will end on decree absolute.

She should certainly apply to the court for a financial remedy order. The house is of particular significance and it matters less whose name it is in.

Of far more significance is that this is a 10 year marriage and there are 4 children. She should take legal advice and go from there.

Universities do free legal advice in their clinics. Afaik it's through zoom now.

Is she 100% it is legal marriage? As in done in a registry office? If yes, she should seek legal help and divorce. He is plotting something

There is a legal process to protect her claim on the house or houses. I moved into my ex husbands flat, married but we never put my name on the deeds.

My solicitor filled out a form with land registry (could have done it myself I knew about it) which said I was making a claim against the property. This stopped my ex from being able to sell the house and I only released my claim once my financial settlement was agreed.

Solicitor. Legal aid. Stay in house at all costs -do not pay rent. CMS immediately and UC. 50% of all martial assets at least are hers.

In UK she can divorce him whether or not he agrees. A divorce granted in a UK court is recognised and valid in law even if his religion doesn't "permit" or recognise it.

 CAB or Womens Aid can help her with  free legal advice regarding separation, divorce,  housing, child support   and claiming benefits etc

@WindblowingSW

Solicitor. Legal aid. Stay in house at all costs -do not pay rent. CMS immediately and UC. 50% of all martial assets at least are hers.

Unless he's been violent towards her there's no legal aid. Hasn't been for years. Lawyers kicked up a fuss about it at the time but people generally weren't interested.

Wow. Isn’t he a cunt? She’s entitled to a lot and she really needs to fight her piece of shit husband. You may need to be the driving force if she’s as timid and abused as you say.

She needs to seek legal advice.

1. She needs to speak to women's aid, they may be able to advise on free legal advice

1. She needs to apply for universal credit and explain the situation to them

1. She needs initial legal advice

1. She needs to change the locks

1. She needs to get CMS after him to pay for his children

If you both feel comfortable with it, then I would suggest that this is the kind of situation that allows the lockdown rules to be changed, she urgently needs your support both physical and emotional

He doesn't want to divorce her because he knows she'll have rights then. What a bastard.

She can probably arrange for the Solicitor that the fees will come out of her settlement.
If she is in England (there is no UK for Divorce, different rules in Scotland to England), then she has a 50% stake in all "marital assets" that includes the house she lives in, but also savings and investments.

A divorce granted in a UK court is recognised and valid in law even if his religion doesn't "permit" or recognise it

This is why I suggested impartial legal advice is so important

With English as her second language she could be vulnerable, and the last thing she needs is some mere version of what her rights actually are

If she is in England or Wales she should register Home Rights for the house.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1

He sounds like just the sort of person to try and sell the house if she doesn't play ball.

I agree she's been very silly and vulnerable but it is what it is.

To be fair to her, she made sure they were married before they had the children - that was wise.

She isn't just (currently) his wife, more importantly, she's the mother of his four children, for whom she has made big financial sacrifices in order to bring them up. By the sounds off it, he isn't planning on being the resident parent.

Whatever he does or doesn't think of her, a man who owns several properties and yet would want to see his four children brought up by a parent reliant on UC, in their home for which she is expected to pay him rent, is an absolute disgrace.

Is his desire not to divorce driven by financial concerns, a wish to control her (so she can't find somebody much better else) or is it maybe a cultural thing, whereby it is considered shameful to divorce? If the latter, I'd be very interested to know in which culture divorce is a shame but charging your own young children and their mother rent to live in their own home and abandoning them to a life on basic benefits is perfectly respectable

Nevertheless, the marriage was what she needed to protect herself and her children and to fight for their fair entitlement. If nothing else, it's a valuable lesson for all of those mothers out there who 'don't need a piece of paper'.

My sister is in a similar position. Legal advice given to her was that she is entitled to up to 70% of equity in the two houses. The marital home was owned by him prior to them meeting but remortgaged with both of their names on it. Since that he inherited his mother’s home, which she is also entitled to up to 70% of and is also entitled to a claim on his pension. She is a stay at home mum and has been ever since they had their children. Her exH is fortunately not unreasonable and is happy for her and the children to stay in the marital home until finances are sorted etc. He is living in the inherited home.

I hope your friend gets some legal advice pronto. She is entitled to recognition for what she has sacrificed for the marriage.

@lakesidewinter

If she is married for ten years has had four children and looked after them full time she is in a decent situation. She should be able to get a lawyer because he sounds as though he has significant assets that she would be entitled to a reasonable share of in the future. She needs to agree to nothing and seek legal advice ASAP.

THIS! In spades!

He's trying to pull a fast one.

If he owns a number of properties there is no WAY she should have to rely on UC (though obviously in the short-term until she has something sorted out, she may).

I would think that even if her marriage isn't recognised in this country, she has four children and still has rights to have them supported by this useless waste-of-skin she's married to. Her children were(I assume) born here and are therefore citizens of this country. He can't just wash his hands of his responsibilities like this.