I don't judge others for doing whatever they enjoy; and am happy to celebrate their birthdays. However, it's VERY important to me that I should be allowed to forget mine; and that no one must EVER acknowledge it. To me, a birthday is mainly 'new age day' and all about people making a big fuss of the fact that I am getting older. I never liked that aspect of birthdays even as a child: I did like presents(!) but I hated all the emphasis on 'now you're 6', 'now you're 7'. etc. (and therefore more will be expected of you - especially with regard to the physical things that I found difficult, due to undiagnosed co-ordination difficulties). And as an adult, it's a reminder of the approach of declining health and death - especially this year, with all the news about how the older you are, the more likely you are to get Covid severely. I think this side of adult birthdays is worse nowadays than in the past. At least the way I remember it, my parents and other adults when I was a child celebrated their birthdays as such, but without mention of specific ages beyond the 21st. In recent years, there is an increasing emphasis on 'significant' 'milestone' birthdays, where your age is the focus of the celebration. No thanks, I know we all get older, but I don't need it rubbed in my face and treated as a big social occasion. Also, I hate it when people (usually NOT family members, who are generally understanding, but relatively casual friends) don't accept that it's so important to me that my birthday be forgotten, and act as though either they have a right to force me to accept birthday conventions against my will, or as though I'm playing some sort of coy game and doing the birthday equivalent of 'playing hard to get'. Fortunately, nowadays it usually doesn't happen as I don't let people know when it is, and GDPR makes it hard for anyone to go behind my back to find out. Also, I dislike the attitude (which I encounter more on MN than in real life!) that you show that you care about someone mainly by how much effort you put into their birthday: If they forget your birthday, or even just fail to give you a sufficiently 'thoughtful' gift, then this is absolutely unforgivable, however much they show they care every day of the year. If, on the other hand, they are selfish or indifferent every day, they can make up for it by splashing out on your birthday. I feel very strongly that caring is shown by how you treat someone every day, not on a 'special' day. Of course, if someone has let you know that they value their birthday strongly, and you forget or ignore it, then that is inconsiderate, but that doesn't mean that birthdays and other special days are the most important thing in all relationships. Wow, that was a book; but I literally have had nightmares about people pressing my birthday on me! Of course, I am always happy to celebrate other people's, if that's what they want.