To wonder how I going to survive the night

[Covidfears]

I don’t know what else to do but post here.

I don’t know how I’m going to get through this night. It’s looking likely my lovely dad has bowel cancer. We’ve only just got through my little sister surviving cancer. I can’t go through all that again.

My parents and I are vulnerable to coronavirus but I have children in school so can only see them through the window.

There is no light at the end of this tunnel for me. I don’t know how to get through this.

We’ve had exactly this scare this year with my mil. Exactly the same symptoms. Colonoscopy showed diverticulitis and no cancer.

I don't have any words of wisdom to add but just wanted you to know that I hope you get positive news for your dad

Oh, you sound utterly exhausted and emotionally on your last straw. It’s so hard when things just keep comping with no reprieve (I really empathise)

I’m not going to give you trite bullshit about darkest before dawn etc. You are feeling how you’re feeling and what you’re feeling is normal.

Do whatever you need to do to keep putting one foot in front of the other (dong do what I did and scrimp on self-care).

Hugs to you

Thank you for all your kind words. I managed to get a few hours sleep but can’t face getting out of bed today.

Take things a day at a time OP, I know what you are going through as my DF had bowel cancer and he called me when he first spotted blood in his movements (i lived in the same road) we called the doctor and due to the amount of blood they organised an ambulance and a colonoscopy, which initially diagnosed diverticulitis, but 6 months later he had another episode and the did find he had bowel cancer. The one thing I will say, that even if it is the worse case scenario, that it doesnt mean you will lose your dear father, my dad lived 10 years after diagnosis and treatment (diagnosed at 70 and died at 80) and in that time he did have some good quality of life. so whatever the outcome remember that it isnt neccessarily untreatable.

My grandad had bowel cancer 15 years ago age 75. He had surgery. He’s still with us, in reasonable health, lives in his own home and is 90 next year!

Good luck OP!!!