Do you argue in front of your kids?

[Autumncolourlover]

As in shouting and swearing with one of you walking off/leaving the house?

My own parents had big arguments when I was a child and it was shit but their's was a fairly toxic marriage (he was an alcoholic) even though they loved each other dearly. So I don't know what normal is. Couples fall out and disagree and that's normal I guess but shouting and swearing in front of the kids? Is that normal?

No. Shouting, swearing, walking off. Not normal.

I think many parents may momentarily bicker about small things in front of their kids, but shouting/swearing etc isn’t the normal no. I think the majority of parents will not ‘have it out’ in front of their children.

Absolutely not.

No, never like that.

We might disagree in front of them, but I don't think we yell and we certainly don't say or do disrespectful stuff in front of them. Partly because it's not how our relationship works but partly because I grew up in foster care and am always very conscious that I want my DC to see a healthy, functional marriage rather than the aggro I lived with.

Do you think your parents relationship impacts you even now?

We don’t shout or swear at each other at all.

No. My parents would have the most hideous rows in front of us. In the end it became normal which I now realise is super unhealthy. I don't argue often with dh (thankfully!) but we never have a proper argument in front of our dc. That's not to say we don't have a little bicker over more trivial things in front of them. I think it's good for kids to see minor disagreements communicated in a healthy way and also for them to (hopefully) see how they can be resolved peacefully too.

No we don't. We don't even swear in general.

We don't argue.

My parents used to and it was hell.

Do people really never argue?

What do you mean by argue?

We occasionally disagree on something, talk about it and resolve it.

@lovemylot1

Do people really never argue?

We disagree plenty. But we don’t argue much. What’s your definition of “argue”?

There’s the average - someone did a thing that’s annoying and the other person says so and there some huffing but no big deal really.

But fundamental Big Row stuff? No.

We don't really argue. Might have the odd sharp tone or pointed comment it it's really just a flash of irritation, usually nothing to do with the other of us. But we'd never swear AT each other, or name call!

@lovemylot1

Do people really never argue?

We snap occasionally and then apologise.

We have bigger arguments, but not shouting and not in front of the children.

People have diffing ideas of what arguing is, some think it’s disagreeing, some think it’s full blown shouting.

No, never shout/swear in front of kids.
But passionate debates? Yes.

My mum and stepdad argued horribly when I was young and it was vile.

My husband and I have never argued like that. We disagree of course but don’t shout and argue like that. Raised voices maybe 3/4 times in 15 years.

I would very ever argue in front of the children. I remember how awful I found it.

I used to.

Which is why I am no longer with their dad. I hated them being around it.

We get on much better now.

DC need to see parents have disagreements and resolve them cheerfully. I would never shout and swear in front of my DC, though we rarely did that even if we were on our own.

Our arguments usually ended in laughter. It's good for DC to see parents deal healthily with conflict.

@lovemylot1

Do people really never argue?

We really don’t. We talk honestly and openly and occasionally annoy the other but our instinct isn’t to shout and argue. We will both happily apologise too when in the wrong.

No name calling or insults under any circumstances.

@FudgeBrownie2019 yes it does still impact me. My dad died years ago now but my dc have said something to me tonight about their dad and his partner arguing and as my normal is not normal then I don't know what level of disagreement is ok. Dd is normally happy to repeat swears in front of me to say what someone else has said but she told me she wouldn't repeat the words they'd used so they must have been bad.

My parents had their loud rows when we were in bed. We don’t row, we discuss. In all honesty, I found it very strange as loud shouting seemed normal to me, but in 25 years we’ve never raised our voices.

However, we do bicker a fair bit. Or rather banter- it’s good humoured and the dc give out that we’re always fighting but it’s over stuff like wanting the other one to have the last sausage.

We disagree and sometimes get annoyed/snap at each other, but we don't shout or name call or swear.

We've quipped and bickered, and sniped and poked, we've had times where we only really speak to each other if needed. But I'm sure that's common in most relationships. DH has shouted at me once, he knows due to my childhood I won't accept raised voices (adults) and was very quick to apologise. We don't swear in front of the children and don't swear at each other unless in extreme upset, stress or frustration. And generally when things are calm both will apologise and talk things through.

Generally if something is a hot topic that could cause heated emotions we speak about it when the children are in bed.

We don't shout and swear at each other in front of dc or not.

We've always tried not to argue, or disagree about anything important in front of them, but can't say that has never happened. When you are tired and irritable and annoyed you do sometimes respond less than ideally.

Oh God OP sounds a bit like my parents when I was a child.

My DH & I try not to let anything escalate in front of the DC, certainly not shouting or swearing, neither of us walk out of the home or anything like that.

I used to hear my parents rowing once we'd gone to bed, then in the morning I'd see the blood stained tissues in the bathroom bin & blood in the sink...my mother's puffy eyes & sometimes cut lip.

This was when I was 5 or 6 years old. When I was around 7 we moved into a bigger house, the rows escalated & the rows started happening in front of us more & more often which was just awful and so much tension in the home when both my parents were there.

So, I want to make damn well sure history does not repeat itself for my DC. It's not normal to scream, shout & swear in front of your DC, let along walking/storming out or any physical altercations.

Wow, this thread has sent a shiver down my spine

DC need to see parents have disagreements and resolve them cheerfully. I would never shout and swear in front of my DC, though we rarely did that even if we were on our own.

Our arguments usually ended in laughter. It's good for DC to see parents deal healthily with conflict.

This and all the other lovely variations of the same on this thread.