Sleeping late

[Ritascornershop]

Is it unusual to sleep in till mid or late morning when well into adulthood? I’m middle aged, sleep terribly, and have always been an early riser. My sister (who doesn’t go out even pre-covid) stays up till about midnight and regularly texts me to tell me she slept till 11:00am or later on the weekend. In your early 20’s when you’re still developing physically and mentally, but by 60?

Is being able to sleep that late common? I’d love to get that much sleep so am not wild about hearing about her amazing sleep abilities!

Our parents were always up and active by 7:30 at the latest. She told me that when she lived away and got divorced her 3 & 5 year olds had to get themselves breakfast as she “could not wake up”.

Partly I’m being prissy, part envy, but mostly I’m wondering how common this is.

@billy1966

Utterly neglectful if you have young children IMO.

Absolute heaven and definitely possible if you don't.

Its only neglectful if there isn't another responsible adult in the house. Me sleeping until noon today was not neglectful.

Not getting up with small kids is bad, although from about five I could squeeze an extra hour with some screen time and cereal or snacks. My body clock has never adjusted to early mornings. I imagine when she’s a teenager both of us will be sleeping in. Some people are just night owls/not morning people. Getting up early is painful, it’s just against what my body wants. I can’t wait till she’s older and I can resume my v late nights/late mornings 🤣

If we don’t have a day out planned I don’t get up til 10/11 at the weekend. I survive on 4 hours a night in the week so I need to catch up at the weekend. My kids are 11 and 13 though so can get their own breakfast and DH can’t sleep in he’s always awake by 7.30. I m normally up before the 13 year old anyway 😀

I can sleep until that time easily when my children aren’t here (divorced). Sleeping until 12 or so comes very naturally to me, even in my 40s.

When the kids are here I’d never sleep that late, but now they are 12 and nearly 7 I wouldn’t think it was off for me to sleep until 9 on weekends even if the kids are up. Mind you, the younger one will sleep until gone 8 himself - he’s a pain to wake up for school! If he sleeps later, I’ll be happy to do so too!

My husband is like this on the weekend, I have to physically wake him because he would stay in bed all day in a heavy sleep. I go to bed between 12 and 1 but up at 7am everyday, on a weekend the latest I've ever got up is 9...but I'd never let my kids fend for themselves.

I'm looking forward to the day that sleep ins are a thing. Our two are 12 and 10 and although I set my alarm for 6.30 on a weekday we still get up early on the weekend as they're like baby elephants, and we have pancakes on Sunday which is torture to wait for when you're a tween. Ill miss it all when they're off to Uni.

I'm 52. My alarm goes off at 5.15am mon-fri. Weekends I get up at 11.

Taking the kids out of the equation, body clocks are different.
You do sound very superior about 'early to bed and early to rise' and the smell of waffles etc

I'm at my best from about midnight; sleep studies have shown I probably have delayed phase sleep disorder. I definitely have an REM sleep disorder and insomnia. I'm not lazy. But I do need to catch up on sleep sometimes because mine is slow to arrive, and poor quality when I get there.

Oh yes, of course it is different when you have young children. I had one child and from quite an early age he liked a lie in, I'm glad to say. Friends would ring him up to make arrangements and were often amazed he was still in bed! He could get up when he had to though, same as me. My husband was not a one to lie in very long. I aways loved it, even as a child.

I have never been able to sleep like that, not as a child, teen or adult. Generally I sleep really badly and get into bad cycles of falling asleep too early (around 10pm) then waking up at 3 or something. Or waking up all night long.

@SparkyTheCat

Personally I've always been an (extreme) owl, and that's just the way my body clock is. So to me it would be perfectly normal to go to bed at 4am and get up at 11. I've never understood why being a lark is considered somehow morally superior.

This!

I could go to about 10am but I could only really sleep properly beyond about 830 if the children and my husband are well out of earshot. This morning my husband decided to give me a sleep in and I was in bed till 10:30 but for 90 minutes before then he and the older kids were noisily exercising in the next room, and when I got up they’d taken the baby but not fed her or changed her. That’s not a sleep-in! So if I could sleep late, I would. But to your actual question of how common it is etc, my mother in law in her 70s has never been an early riser. When my husband was really small, under 5, she’d leave his cereal out and a portion of milk in the fridge. She told me she did that from when he was 2.5 but I’d always assumed that wasn’t quite right because who leaves a toddler to attend to their own needs in the kitchen?

@billy1966

Utterly neglectful if you have young children IMO.

Absolute heaven and definitely possible if you don't.

Not every child wakes early.

Mine never has woken naturally before 8am unless we’re catching a flight!

Before DD we were night owls and late risers when we could get away with it. I could easily sleep till after midday. Loved it.

She’s not a horribly early riser but while I make porridge or pancakes or whatever for her breakfast I don’t like getting up at all.

It’s not better to be a lark than an owl. People get so self righteous about naturally waking early. It’s just how your body clock works.

I have to admit that I have two young children and for the first hour of their waking they are left to fend for themselves. However they are 4 and 6, have to stay upstairs, only allowed downstairs once I know I'm about to get up and they wake up at 4am. Plus I hide the front door keys and have locks on all cupboards etc. I cannot function on getting up at 4am every day. 5am is brutal enough.

I've always been a night owl. Always. When my kids are at their dads I have great plans to get up and do many productive things. Never happens because o sleep through every alarm and usually wake up by lunch. Possibly because of the fortnight of 5am starts. I don't like it, but equally I get an awful lot done late at night so if it wasn't for my pesky job it would probably balance out. I have seriously considered taking on exclusively night shift work if it wasn't for the nightmare of trying to find overnight childcare, it's just how I'm made.

My mother seems to think there is something morally wrong with my sleeping pattern. I'm 34 and still get loaded comments about it. No idea why because it doesn't affect her and I don't complain about it but if she receives a reply to a txt a few hours later than she sent it then the passive aggressive responses will flow. I would LOVE to wake up properly to my alarm on my days off. But my body simply won't let me if I've nowhere to be. It's not a case of snoozing it and rolling over. I. Don't. Wake. Up. Even on the rare occasions I have work and my kids are somewhere else I've been known to stay up all night panicking I won't wake up to my alarm and then just powered through the day. It's shit

Depression? Defending her decision because she can't face up to the fact that she wasn't/isn't ok?

What @BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz said in the first reply.

Obviously if you are soley responsible for small children, you need to look after them,

however

I don't see why having one sort of bodyclock is superior to having the other sort.

There's something very luxurious about lying in.

I couldn't sleep until that time. I'm usually up by 5:30. Once I'm up I have to get out of bed I can't stay there in it either.

Pre dd we would sleep in all morning at a weekend, despite being up at 6 in the week. Our body clocks didn't magically change. Now we have dd who is an awful sleeper but at least sometimes sleeps a little longer than some in the morning so a lie in is 7.30! It's killing me but you just have to do it!

@Leaannb

She told me that when she lived away and got divorced her 3 & 5 year olds had to get themselves breakfast as she “could not wake up

Read the thread. She was neglectful.

I wake naturally at around 7am, although it's earlier in summer when it gets light early. Once I'm awake I can't get back to sleep.

Mostly it's fine as I work full time and it makes it easier getting up in the mornings. And I don't really have the lifestyle where I stay up late anymore.

However I do find it annoying that I'll wake up at the same time even if I've had less sleep than usual and need to catch up e.g. a late night, insomnia, illness. I still wake up at 7am, feeling like shit and I hate it. I would love the ability to sleep late IF I choose to.

My dad regularly sleeps in until 10/11am on a weekend, has done for as long as I can remember, he's in his late 50s.
Mum loves having ds to stay on the weekend (normal times) because he loves getting grandad up to play at about 8am.

I don't have to live my life by the clock so I go with the flow and let my body clock decide when I'm tired or wake up. I'm usually awake until well gone 1-2am and normally wake around 10-11 the next morning. It works for me - especially in the winter.

I can very easily sleep til lunchtime (and beyond!) if I have no commitments or responsibilities. I regularly did in my 20s at weekends, became a bit of a running joke with housemates. Back then I tended to stay up til the early hours most nights too.

Now with young kids it’s not really an option except for rare occasions when my husband indulges it! So usually I’m up at a normal time either for work or to look after the kids, but if I had the house to myself I would easily sleep through. I’ve always needed a lot of sleep for as long as I can remember. Naps are the dream and I LOVE that feeling of half waking and realising you don’t have to get up for ages!

I wouldn’t say I’m lazy - I never go to bed before 11ish (brain seems to work best in the evening), work very hard, very active with kids and exercise etc, but my body clock does seem a bit skewed. It’s always been that way though so I don’t know why. Oddly I can get up early for work (although it’s a huge struggle to physically drag myself out of bed!) and once I’m up I’m fine.

I did have some tests a few years back as was worried it might be a hormonal or thyroid thing as I just seem to have a weird ability to sleep for hours and hours if I don’t make myself get up, beyond what I would consider normal. Tests revealed no issues and doctor didn’t seem concerned. I’ve concluded I’m just a sleep weirdo 🤷🏻‍♀️

Fortunately when my kids were little they shared the same night owl sleeping pattern as me so they were happy to sleep in late too. Early Christmas Day wake ups never happened in our house [santa]