My family talk to each other about their plans and mix it up each year. If something doesn't work for us, we say so and we adjust around each other. If DM wants to hang out out with her mates and catch up with us on a different day, that's fine. Some years DB travels to his ILs. Some years we have a bigger get-together. MiL is in another country and has a festive birthday. At her last significant birthday, DH travelled over to see her for it for the first time in years and arrived back on a late flight to spend most of Christmas with us. I made other plans so we still had a lovely festive time in his absence, and I'd be happy to repeat the strategy in a couple of years at the next big birthday. 10 years ago it had to be a quiet one at home and everyone visiting us due to being freshly discharged from hospital following DS1's rough birth.
More people should try talking to relatives and mixing it up and not getting stuck in stale traditions that don't work for them. It's better than being relieved that the government is obstructing your rights to a family life.