Who else would love an Xmas lockdown to avoid their families?

[4cats2kids]

I bloody would!

@thetaleunfolds

I’ve used it as a plausible excuse why I won’t be going to my mums. Other years she’s gotten so upset at me saying I’d rather stay home that it wasn’t worth it and I just went against my will

This year it’s just me, baby and dog and I get to cook and eat a meal just as I want

Dittto

I think it's sad that so many people seem 'duty bound' to spend time with people they really don't particularly want to see.

Like a PP, we never got into the pattern of doing the same sort of thing year after year ... we mix it up, see people, don't see people, volunteer, stay home alone, go abroad ... no one in our wider family is offended, last year my DH & I spent Christmas separately, people thought we were 'odd' but it worked for us.

I am at the age where I may soon be a MIL, I would hate to think of my adult DS feeling 'obliged' to spend Christmas with me and I hope I will be sensitive enough to be able to make my own plans. My own elderly parents often say they are more than happy to spend time alone at home, travelling around the country is usually awful at this time of year, as is squashing into some one else house and trying to fit into their routine not to mention over excited grandchildren.

@Changedmyname26

I'm glad to have a reason not to visit THREE houses. Rushing each visit so not actually having proper time with anyone, constantly clock watching an not able to relax anywhere. Meanwhile DP gets to drink, socialise and wait to be told it's time to leave.

The kids barely have time to look at their presents, everything feels so rushed.

Really looking forward to our first Christmas at home since we moved out and had DC!

So why do you do this to yourself?

You could visit some of the people on other days, have them come to you, could DH take his turn to do the driving, so you get a chance to 'drink, socialise and be told when to leave'?

That much maligned Morrisons advert with the miserable mother a few years ago had a lot of truth in it. Some people really seem to enjoy martyring themselves.

Yes! I'm pregnant and due at Christmas time. Delighted that there's a chance that MIL - who refuses to social distance etc and lives in the third most Corona prevalent town in the UK and is extremely overbearing - won't be able to argue with us when we say no visitors after the birth.

(Drip feed: planned c section and I have a heart condition, so being as careful as we can. Not first grandchild and not first child for us)

Feel a bit mean saying so as my parents aren't getting any younger but actually yes, although I would like to see them for an afternoon at some point.

I'm single and my married brother spends the day usually with his wife so I've never felt I could miss a year even when ill.

I love my parents but my dad is quiet and gets rather irritable and my mum will talk at you all day. I don't drive thanks to a health issue so I can't just drive up for a few hours on Christmas Day so end up feeling stuck there and a bit of a loser.

This year I will have champagne, an awesome lunch, a couple of zoom calls and possibly a walk with a good friend in my city depending what lockdown is doing.

Single parent here - I'm actually desperate to see my family, or just any other adult human

I would we are moving house and I just want one relaxed Christmas day in our new house. Mil has other plans and wants to come over but I can never relax when she's here. I'm annoyed that she convinced dh that she is a single person and can be in our bubble when she isn't she has a fiancé who she sees every weekend and an elderly family member who she visits.

Huge fall-out with my mum over the last few years, told my brother I couldn't have dm at Xmas this year, way back in Feb. She's been in his bubble for everything this year - visits, childcare, the lot, complete covid conspiracies and not following any rules.

I get a phone call last week and it's all 'oh I'm not going to db's for Xmas, just a quiet one on my own...'. I have my dp in my bubble, dm has ignored me and the dc all year on top of everything, now I've got the guilt trip about Xmas too? Nah.

I know someone who is planning on ‘feeling unwell with COVID’ symptoms 23rd/34th December to avoid the family visits 😆

This could be an option...

Yes! I cannot wait to spend a week sitting on my sofa eating cheese. No long car journeys, no uncomfortable sofa beds, no being frowned at when I ask for a second glass of wine. We've had the same Christmas routine for years and this gives us the perfect excuse to do things differently from now on.

A couple of family members have floated the idea of a zoom quiz on xmas eve and another on Xmas day so we can eat our dinner together my christal ball tells me my wifi will be going down at some point on 23rd and won't be working again until at least the 26th.

If you don't want to see your family at Christmas have the guts to own that
and let people with close family relationships crack on

Can’t wait for it, tbh.

Yes, I know that part of that is horrible. In coming years, I’m sure I will regret that sentiment.

But we’ve had a year and a half of managing my alcoholic-addict brother, and I’m very happy indeed to have an excuse not to spend any time in his company listening to fake stories of how well his sobriety is going (it’s not, my friends have seen him drinking).

DH and I have big plans to be in pyjamas all day, cooking a goose and eating the contents of the hamper work is gifting each of us before term ends (the only bonus I’ve received so far, having been a teacher working through this bloody crisis).

I really love spending all day surrounded by family but for my dh it gets a bit too much in the late afternoon.

My dh is quite gleeful at the idea of a quieter Christmas this year and I must admit the change of pace seems quite alluring given the year we've had

I've only met DPs parents a handful of times and he's only met mine once thanks to lockdown. I'm quite glad not to have to spend Christmas with his family to be honest.

And although I'll miss my mum and dad, I'm glad he doesn't have the pressure of having to stay with them as he's unwell at the moment.

Last Christmas with my mil was really hard for me. Dh had invited her weeks before and she said she didn't want to come. She has seven adult kids but no plans to see anyone. On Christmas morning she phones dh to say she wants to come...she doesn't drive and despite having plenty of money won't pay for a taxi so dh has to pick her up and drive her home meaning he can't drink. When she arrives she doesn't drink, barely eats, doesn't bring gifts, doesn't speak to any of us...she literally sits in virtual silence on the sofa for hours before dh drives her home. It is unbearable...dh won't hear a bad word said against her...

Really looking forward to a quiet one.
It's easy for some to say just say no to overbearing guilt tripping family members.
@formerbabe that's shit :(

I wouldn’t mind staying home just to make the point to DH that he would actually enjoy visiting our families more. He has this wish for a “quiet Christmas” which is totally idealised and ignores what our DC are like, stuck at home with nowhere particular to go. DH thinks he’d be eating cheese with leftovers and watching the football, whereas in reality he’d be being pestered for the 350th game of Hungry Hungry Hippos at 7am and listening to the demands for normal boring food instead of nice Christmas treats. I would have SUCH a satisfying few days saying “told you so” at every opportunity

But, my parents & MIL would be utterly gutted not to see us, so off we will merrily go....

I would love an actual lockdown Xmas.

For all the posters saying have the guts to say no, it's not about having the guts. It's about not wanting to upset people or have them lonely because we can't be arsed to go out. It feels selfish, and a lockdown Xmas would ease my guilt over being the one doing it to them.

My DH only gets Xmas day and Boxing Day off, no holiday days allowed in December and he works longer hours all month too. We can't go round to see someone on the afternoon of 27th etc instead of seeing them Xmas or Boxing Day, so it's Xmas day, Boxing Day or not seeing them until into the New Year.

I wish wish wish we had a strict lockdown so I couldn't spend two weeks with my in laws!!!

Next year I'm going to put my foot down.

For all the posters saying have the guts to say no, it's not about having the guts. It's about not wanting to upset people or have them lonely because we can't be arsed to go out. It feels selfish, and a lockdown Xmas would ease my guilt over being the one doing it to them

Exactly this. The relatives love seeing and will be completely gutted not to. At least with lockdown it's not my fault so I don't need to feel guilty!

I agree it's not always easy to say no...families are interlinked, so you might not want to see your aged aunt for example, but she always spends the day with your pil so they come as a package. Or your dh wants to see his family but you can't stand them..what are you meant to do...if he sees them and takes the dc then are you really going to stay home alone? How would you explain that to them without causing great offence

me!!! I can't stand my DH brothers and their families.' I have said we will see
MIL before Christmas. But i've only seen my own parents for 1.5 days this year and it means the world to me to see them. I'm not risking their health by seeing other members of the family. DH sees BIL fairly frequently anyway.

I wouldn't mind avoiding my stepbrother.

Have you all heard? Restrictions are to be eased so 4-5 different households can all celebrate together this Christmas.

Yay. 😬

Have you all heard? Restrictions are to be eased so 4-5 different households can all celebrate together this Christmas

I'm holding out hope that it will only apply to local households. My closest relatives live a 2.5 hour drive away in Wales (I'm in England) and the others are a 3+ hour drive away. Surely that won't be allowed? fingers crossed

Im using it as an excuse to prioritise quality over quantity. Rather than being stuck all Christmas day with the same group, and lots of us all squashed in altogether, I've invited (tentatively depending on rules and any symptoms ruining things) my sister for a drink and gifts on Christmas Eve. Will have our own quiet Christmas day with our dc. And will have my Mum and other sister round boxing day. MIL always sees us between Christmas and NY anyway and we will do the same. And we'll see people for an hour or two rather than the whole day.

I'm looking forward to it.