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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

fees may not be worth their weight...

49 replies

JandDmom · 18/10/2007 16:29

My son goes to the dearest school in our county. Up to now, he's in year 3, we've been more than happy with the cost vs. education. He's very bright and up to now has recieved the attention that "we've paid for". (read smaller class size, so more attention time in relation to teacher/child ratio). In the previous 3 years he was read with no less than 3 times per week. He's a foracious reader and quite a bit ahead of his class. This year so far, school started Sept 5th., he's read 4 times with a teacher. This is because, teacher says, that other students require more time because they dont' read as well as your son.

Am I being unreasonable to think that just because my son reads better than others that he should get less time. I pay just as much as the other parents, so shouldn't my child recieve just as much time?

Reading isn't the only thing that gets shorted for my son. Pretty much every subject gets shorted with him just because he can do the work. He is given "busy" work so that he's got something to do after he's finished the assigned work. The teacher just doesn't have the time to challenge him because she's busy helping the other children with their work. I don't want to take away from the other children because they deserve to be challenged as well. But it seems to me that my son is losing out just because he's smart.

The previous years' teachers always recognized this in my son and were able to challenge him without taking away from the other children in the class. I guess my question is...Do I confront the teacher/head? There's a good chance that we'll be moving before the school year's out, so I don't want to make waves, but at the same time I can't really see the value for the amount of fees we're paying.

Any advice?

OP posts:

SenoraPostrophe · 18/10/2007 16:33

yes, yabu. there is more to education than reading with a teacher. if you just wanted teacher reading time, why didn';t you just pay for a private tutor after school?

LIZS · 18/10/2007 16:35

At year 3 ds was rarely heard individually . They did much more group guided reading , encouraging listening to each other, comprehension etc , as the majority will have grasped basic mechanics and their skills need practice and development. It sounds like he is already getting extension work. Speak to the teacher and perhaps the senco if you are still worried.

edam · 18/10/2007 16:37

It's voracious, btw (thought you might like to know, as you have a keen reader on your hands).

Caroline1852 · 18/10/2007 16:38

Perhaps he has just reached the stage, ahead of the others, where he no longer needs to read to the teacher.

flamingtoaster · 18/10/2007 16:38

My neighbour had a similar problem in an independent school - he was told not to read with his DD at home because she was too far ahead and they wanted the rest of the class to catch up! He ignored them needless to say. I also know of several parents of bright children who have removed their children from the private sector. Private education does not guarantee that a bright child will be streteched, sadly. If you are going to move anyway I would stretch him at home meantime so that he doesn't start to lose his enthusiasm for learning.

FlameBat · 18/10/2007 16:38

Is the "busy" work, not the extra work to challenge him?

Caroline1852 · 18/10/2007 16:39

Edam - I quite liked the idea of a foracious reader.

ShinyHappyPurpleSeveredHeads · 18/10/2007 16:46

Idle musing: makes you wonder whether you could save all that money and just send him to a good state school which, as far as I can tell from your description, would do exactly the same as what's being done already in this "dearest school in the country".. or maybe even do a better job, what with their new gifted and talented programmes for the most able students.

Original poster

JandDmom · 18/10/2007 16:52

It's not the actual reading time I'm bothered about. It's the challenge. Also the time spent with him. He loves to read and is the kind of child that would love to learn to read aloud to others. He loves the Stephen Fry Harry Potter CDs. When I read with him, which is 3 times a week minimum, (that with a 2 yr old in the house plus all the SAHM stuff I have to do! Poor me! Insert tongue in cheek here!) I try to help him imagine that he's reading like Stephen Fry. Why can't the teacher do this? If she does, why can't she tell me in the Reading Record?

On another point, he got spelling words 3 weeks ago that he got in year 1. I know that his Year 2 teacher talked to her about him before last year was finished. So she knew his capabilies. Why give him words that insult him? And yes he was insulted that he had such "easy words", his words not mine.

And to Edam,
Sorry not to do a spell check before I sent my first post. The "f" and "v" are very close to one another on the keyboard and I don't have a spellcheck on MN postings!

OP posts:

NKF · 18/10/2007 16:58

Well, only you can decide whether the education is worth the fees.

Fireflyfairy2 · 18/10/2007 17:02

Why can't the teacher help him imagine he is reading like Stephen Fry?

Maybe because she has a whole class of children to teach...........

Original poster

JandDmom · 18/10/2007 17:03

Dear Shiny,
Don't think that my DH hasn't considered pulling him out and sending him local. He has now figured out that it costs more, with exchange rates being what they are, to send our 7 year old to this school for one year as it did to send him to the University of California at Santa Barbara for one year! Imagine that! It costs more to send our child to this school, equal to US 2nd Grade as it did/does to send someone to a California University for 1 year!

Needless to say DH is very, very unhappy! He's ready for homeschooling!

We're thinking very hard about moving to the continent either after Xmas or for sure next summer. Do we really want to disrupt DS1 school year for such a short time by pulling him out now? Also, from what I've seen, the schools on the continent are at least a year behind Uk schools during the primary years, so DS1 going to "waste" a year anyway.

OP posts:

Fireflyfairy2 · 18/10/2007 17:06

Where do you live?

Original poster

JandDmom · 18/10/2007 17:09

Dear FireFlyFairy2,
I understand that she has a "whole class of children to teach". My son is one of them. All I'm asking for is equalization. Just because my child can do the work doesn't mean he gets less time.

I taught 1st grade in California, kids ages 6-7. We had 29 in a class. The class was a bell curve. Few at the bottom, most in the middle and a few at the top. Just because you were at either end didn't mean you were short-changed. Each child was challenged to the fullest of either individual capability. What I can't understand is why is my child not being challenged? The rest of the bell curve is, why not mine?

OP posts:

Original poster

JandDmom · 18/10/2007 17:10

Northamptonshire

OP posts:

colditz · 18/10/2007 17:11

You run the risk of giving the child the message that you are paying for his education so he had damn well give you better value for money.

Fireflyfairy2 · 18/10/2007 17:11

How does he fair in the class tests? If he was as far advanced as you think has his class teacher discussed moving him classes?

It happens here. If a child is not being challenged enough in his current class he will be moved up into the next class.

Lorayn · 18/10/2007 17:18

Only read the OP but no, I don't think you are being totally unreasonable.
DD is in year 2 and has been coming home with spellings like 'in' and 'we', three words a week.

Now I know she can spell things a lot better than that, she is also reading books below her level because it is the level that others are at in the class,(I have tried to combat this by giving her harder books at home, but it still anoys me, as I feel her achievements should be awarded as much time as other childrens) so effectively she is not being challenged because others find it more difficult.

Her class has a teaching assistant most days and I don't think it unfair that maybe some of the brighter students should get time with the TA too? How long would it really take to do a spelling test?of three words? or even the teacher give appropriate spellings to their level and have two or three groups, she could do all three groups tests at the same time surely.

It really grates on me the way children who can achieve are not given the opportunity to do so because others are not as fortunate.

bran · 18/10/2007 17:23

Thread hijack - why are there embedded ads in some of the posts? For instance in Lorayn's last post there a Persil ad pops up when I run my mouse over the word "reading".

Niecie · 18/10/2007 17:23

Your DS's position sounds very like my DS in that he hasn't been listened to this term except through guided reading and the spellings he has been given were the ones he did back in Yr 1. However, he goes to a state juniors, just moved there from an outstanding primary school and they are so disorganised that they don't seem to have any idea what he is capable of.

I posted about the reading to the teacher a few weeks ago and was assured that it is very unusual for children to read to the teacher individually in Yr 3. I would have been happy with this had it not been for the fact that the teacher is so wide of the mark on his reading books that he was at the beginning of term reading books that he read in the middle of Yr 1 and was only put up on our say so. The books are still to simple. He is reading Harry Potter at home and some something with 50 pages and pictures at school. It doesn't make sense. I wish they had taken time to listen ot him just once and then they might know what he is capable of.

Reading your OP though I am just grateful that we haven't been paying for this education as it sounds like the money doesn't make much difference.

I would have a word with the teacher and ask for some extra work that is more appropriate, as I take it that 'busy' work is just time filling rather than brain enhancing. It might take a bit of extra effort on her part but you are paying for your DS's educations directly so you must have more of a say than we have in the state sector surely.

LadyMuck · 18/10/2007 17:23

If your teacher's response to your concerns has been that she needs to do more with those struggling then it is time to have a word with the head. A decent school will be able to stretch the able as well as everyone else.

In terms of reading, why do you think that he needs to read to the teacher? What are you looking for from her?

Lorayn · 18/10/2007 17:24

ha, persil just popped up in yours, and toy was in mine earlier.

andiem · 18/10/2007 17:24

tis new mumsnet advertising there is a thread about it somewhere from mnhq

bossybritches · 18/10/2007 17:24

They're bloody everywhere bran!

off to smack techy round the ear.....

andiem · 18/10/2007 17:25

here

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