Opting out in our mid-30s - can we afford it?

[newlife4]

Like many people, DH and I have had an exhausting, miserable year and we both feel completely drained.

We're considering a fresh start by selling up, moving somewhere that we can be mortgage free or have a very small mortgage (say £200-£300 a month max) and opting out of the rat race basically.

My question is - even though we'd be mortgage free or reducing it drastically, how much money do you think we would need to earn to pay for everything else (utility bills, council tax, stuff for our one DC and potentially a car)? We currently have £30k savings in the bank.

We're only in our mid 30s and are probably far too young to be considering this, but we're just so done with it all and don't want to live to work (or is it work to live - I always get it the wrong way round!) any more.

I'm just wondering whether this plan is doable or not really. Thoughts?

Sorry MissMarple cross-posted. Great minds think alike, as they say....

I must say, that I thought cheltenhamlady's point about having a purpose in life/doing something that was useful to others was very, very important.

@raspberrymuffin I have done similar to you, and like you have found a better work/life balance away from the private sector. No regrets, and I can't see myself going back either (despite the distinctly mediocre salary, which looks like it will be frozen for the foreseeable...)

Also turns out that the public sector isn't full of useless freeloaders either, despite what some may say...

I don't think it is doable to move to no work at all. You would probably run out of money or ideas at some point, and I cannot see it being easy to return then to work.

I'm in my 30s, no kids, and work part time by choice. My mortgage is about £300 a month. I earn enough to live (just) but my pension will be low. I would rather have the time to live now and will worry about my old age when I get there.

Thing is, when you get to your fifties and realise that it’s harder and harder to get decent full time work you actually want to do, and you see how much is in your pension, you see that leaving ‘old’ age until you get there is really foolish.

A lot of people have been drawing down on pensions this year if they’re 55 or older. Those who saved a lot will be very grateful.

I’m 56. I wish I’d put more in. I’m better off than many of my peers because I never stopped contributing, even when childcare costs meant my net income was low.

But if I could go back 15 years I’d be salting it away.

@newlife4 A lot of posters have said why don't you at least identify what fields you both work in?

This thread is a bit meaningless without knowing what you do!

You could be anything from a cleaner to a sales asst to a hedge fund manager :)

Without some context, it's really hard to advise other than speak generally about it all.

I go back to my previous advice for you which is look at your work and why it's stressing you and tackle that first. It doesn't have to be about location or a 'Good Life' radical change.

It's very easy to fantasise at 30-something about some kind of semi-hippy, self sufficient lifestyle where you aren't an employee, but throwing away all you have without knowing you can get work as a freelancer is just silly.

And don't 'aim' for retirement. I'm post-retirement age and am still working as I'm doing something I enjoy. People who long for retirement are the ones who never enjoyed their work.

And don't 'aim' for retirement. I'm post-retirement age and am still working as I'm doing something I enjoy. People who long for retirement are the ones who never enjoyed their work.

Absolutely!

I love what I do, I am close to retirement age, but I don't want to retire. I enjoying what I do so much. Thankfully I don;t have to retire as I am self employed.

Just a word. Freelance can be bad especially if you don't have a freelance contract. You end up under a lot of deadline pressure and unable to refuse work when you don't know when or if more will come. You will probably need to make sure where you move to has high speed wifi. And check the transport where you live and how much running a car will cost. You don't say how old your DC is but schools, access to friends and towns will be important to them and unless you want to be a taxi driver it's worth checking. Unless of course you want to live the life of that Yorkshire shepherdess with her kids and that your DC is happy with it.

I think I've completely misunderstood OP as I'm reading loads of comments about mending and make do and financial struggle. I thought OP was going to move somewhere cheaper so no mortgage and still work therefore better off than now. Freelancing and how well that works depends on the industry. I freelance and make a really good living - better than if employed.

@speakout

And don't 'aim' for retirement. I'm post-retirement age and am still working as I'm doing something I enjoy. People who long for retirement are the ones who never enjoyed their work.

Absolutely!

I love what I do, I am close to retirement age, but I don't want to retire. I enjoying what I do so much. Thankfully I don;t have to retire as I am self employed.

agree with this. At the moment im not sure i ever want to retire. I would rather just wind down and do less away from home

I am excited about my work.
I am amost 60 and I love to plan for future projects.

Hmm, I'm around the same age as you and have the kind of life you're after, minus the freelance part.
My mortgage is just over £300 per month, I live walking distance to work, job isn't too high pressure and there's a good work life balance, we're near the countryside, beach, slower pace of life etc.

It's nice in some ways but it's not the idyll you're imagining. There are still lots of bills to pay as well as the mortgage. In total we spend £2k per month for a family of 3 and pets. This includes all bills, running 2 cars (as we work different hours and public transport here isn't great) plus some luxuries like takeaways, days out and hobbies. It doesn't include childcare, so it will be more like £2800 when the time comes for that. If we have a second child the costs will go up even more.
On the other hand our salaries have been stagnant and there aren't many jobs in our industry in our area. I often worry about what we'd do if we were made redundant. There also isn't much scope for career development. I sometimes regret not moving to London when we were younger and had the chance. Our friends who did have much better careers and their lives seem a lot more exciting.

Op, could you rent your London place and rent somewhere in the new location?

Trial it for a year or so. See how it goes. It will go one of two ways I think.

I worked with someone who had previously lived in Cornwall. He said that he really missed his life there. Did the same job but seemed to have much more time and went for walks along the coastal path with his dog after work.

Everyone's priorities are different. Some of the advice on this thread won't actually be relevant to you. I think you need to stick your toe in the water and see if it might work for you.

@PlanDeRaccordement

All paid work is a rat race. If you’re going to sell up and move, but still work you are just opting for a different rat race. The question is do you want to race for high pay or low pay?

I find this very sad. Not all life is a race, it is a journey. The question is do we want to race through it, ignoring the amazing sights and experiences because we will get some reward we have been conditioned like lab rats to crave or do we want to stroll along, breathing in the air, admiring nature, appreciating life and love because we realise these things are as fundamental needs as food and shelter?

I would say go for it.

I haven't read the full thread but if you're prepared to move further afield then take a look at the North East. Cheapest house prices in the country and cities and towns for work. There are some decent areas which are very reasonably priced. I wish I'd done what you are doing years ago - not for work like balance as I'm very lucky that way - but because I hate my job. If your spouse is supportive then make it work.

Get a spreadsheet on the go. Be realistic about where you want to be in 5/10/20/30/40 years.

Factor in a social life, holidays, uni fees, sick pay buffer or you will just be surviving. I'm 42 and my DH are looking to get our mortgage paid off in the next 3 years so we can have a really great work/life balance.

If you think you can do it.... go for it!

My bills are around 450 per month including Netflix, x box subscriptions etc. Someone upthread said roughly the same amount so I guess this is pretty average. This is bills only- no food

Not mortgage either, just bills

Rich people problems

But you haven't got 'a plan'.

Your plan so far is to downsize.

If you are burnt out and miserable, are you planning a career / job change? Do you know in what direction? Is it a field where there are entry level jobs and a chance to grow and challenge? Or do you have a skill that you can develop and use that you love doing, and can give you the income you need?

Work is not a rat race of you enjoy it.

You do need to think about your penskion.

You need to think about more than the basic bills. Do you want children? Travelling? Days out? Life will get boring pretty quickly if you aren't careful.

Too many variables to venture an educated guess on this. What are the costs of living in the areas you are looking at? You will almost certainly have to work at least part-time, even if not full-time. Are there jobs available in the area in your field? Or in a field that you are willing to take on? What will you do when a car needs replacing or major repairs? Or something in the home requires replacing or major repairs? I understand. I really do. But with a child to consider, it may be a bit premature, UNLESS you can find an affordable area that would allow you to handle all of this and only work part-time. I don't think you can do it safely and securely not working at all.

Take a year off, rent out your house and travel around Europe in a campervan (or something). Then and only then think about packing in your job.

Sadly I think you will find it very hard unless you are prepared to live a very frugal, mend and make do kind of life. You haven't mentioned if you have children but they are expensive (especially as they get older.) As teens they go through clothes at a rate of knots and if you want them to try new things (learning an instrument or doing a drama club for example, it all starts to get very expensive). You also need to be saving a lot now to have an even halfway decent pension. You really need to do some proper calculations and be realistic about whether you will miss some of life's pleasures like eating out occasionally or going to see a show etc. Money makes the world go around unfortunately. Good luck finding a balance that works for you though. As others on here have said, it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Sorry no. No pension state or private. You could downsize your home and change jobs to something less stressful. Thats not impossible. Good luck