To strongly dislike receiving unwarranted parenting advice from the public?

[MillyA]

I've just been to Sainsbury's and my 18 month old was in the pram having a tantrum to rival a banshee because she was tired. I did all I could to settle her but she was having none of it.

A woman stopped me on an aisle to suggest DD is probably hungry. I explained she wasn't hungry she was tired.

"Oh" she replied "maybe she's a bit hot in that coat too" (a rain coat because you know, it's raining outside)

I appreciate a sympathetic smile or a kind comment like "don't worry, we've all been there" or "mine was the same" like the lovely sales assistant said to me at the check out.. but I think telling another parent what they should be doing is rude.

AIBU?

I can see your POV Sandy, although after she suggested DD was hungry and I explained she was just tired, she didn't need to then try to tell me it's probably to do with her being too hot aswell.

I'm not adverse to people being kind but it didn't appear that way with this woman today, she came across as patronising.

There are some good eggs about though,

Last Christmas I was in my local town and this child was throwing an absolute wobbler as his mum wouldn’t pay for him to go on the ride on peppa pig toy and was refusing to get off, as you can imagine It was absolutely heaving and he was causing an massive scene.

He’d became utterly hysterical and was hitting and kicking her and she was at a total loss and just burst into tears. This absolute angel of a woman marched up to her, told everyone to move along and that there was nothing to see and gave her a massive hug and told her that her son had done the same thing a few hours ago! It was just so kind and so needed and it’s stuck with me❤️

My pregnancy was just starting to become visit when we went into full lockdown in March, so I didn't get to experience any of the unwarranted comments my friends had warned me about!! So although I think YANBU at all, I do think IAB(a bit)U in how much I enjoyed strangers making a beeline for me in July, heavily pregnant, to offer their advice!!!

visible not visit? 🤦

AIBU to wonder if those of you who are mothers perceive your maternal 'role' to be natural to you (i.e. innate in your biology)?
It has rarely felt natural to me, right from being a first time stay-at-home mother. It didn't feel natural to be home alone with a baby.
I survived it, and even had another baby. Friends have said the same thing, that we do it but deep down we feel it isn't natural to be alone. We need more people around at this time.

I'm sorry, this was meant to be a new thread. Will repost.

I had this in hospital. I was taking my newborn back to hospital and needed to use the lift to get to the children's ward. Baby was screaming and a woman told me I should give him a cuddle as that's what babies need, as if I didn't cuddle him.
My son was screaming because he was in pain and starving to death from a rare birth defect (fixed now thankfully). I could have slapped that woman into next year.
Also had it with my eldest who was on a pureed diet until he was 3 due to feeding issues. Woman in wetherspoons told us that he just wanted some of our food and not that slop. He was tired and didn't want to eat like many toddlers. I tried to explain that its not slop its his special food but she just rolled her eyes and said "yeah right"
Sometimes I just want to bang my head on the table because of these people but they arent worth it

I hate it, I once got on a bus With daughter who was nearly 5 at the time in pushchair ( swift disabled one ) I got through no problems didn’t cause any hold up and a women with 2 kids on the seats at front was like “ oh someone looks a bit old for a pushchair “ I didn’t even bother justifying the fact she was recovering from a stroke.

Sometimes its going to be annoying. Sometimes someone might have seen something you haven't.

My sister and I got yelled at by some guy for pointing out his little baby he was struggling to get into some kind of back carrier sling thing was actually being strangled by it as he'd got various limbs in the wrong slots and he couldn't see what the issue was from his position.

He did stop yelling at us for interfering when his kid stopped yelling and started changing colour, I'd like to think at least someone is grateful we pointed it out as he was seemingly hellbent on just ramming the baby in any old way and muttering 'why won't you move your arm/why won't you stop crying'...so who knows how that would have ended!

If you can manage it I anyways find trying my best fake abs breezy smile and saying, in a very over enthusiastic manner:

“Oh thank you sooo much for your entirely unsolicited advice! I’ll be sure to pay it the attention it deserves”.

@Feministicon

What is it with strangers wanting socks on babies at all times too??

My MIL was/ is obsessed with DD’s feet and socks. I actually ended up shouting at her once after I brushed off a comment about DD needing socks (which she hated and always pulled off), to turn around and find her putting them on. I stopped inviting her over after that.

I haven’t had anything too bad yet in public. I do think the UK is a very un child friendly place which is sad. We visited Portugal last year and the lady at the supermarket let us go first in the queue because our baby was crying, everywhere was so much more child friendly and relaxed. I just think people can be so miserable and just look for stuff to get offended over.

It's not something I've done myself...I just feel sorry for parents of kids who scream like that and honestly don't know how they focus on continuing with the shopping with a screaming baby...I try get as far away from the noise, as it gives me a headache.

Wow honestly you have never had a difficult baby then have you? My DD was very very high needs until about 18 months, if I never left the house while she was crying I would never have got anything done. How is a bit of crying really going to ‘affect’ other people, it’s not like she was out for a leisurely meal!!

I really think the fear of what people think, and choosing to hide away from it can lead to a lot of postnatal depression if you have a more challenging baby.

I hate this sort of "help" from anyone. A few months ago I went in to work with my baby who was a bit whingy. My colleague without children preceeded to tell me baby was too hot and probably hungry. I nearly hit her because he was tired (and so was I).
Apart from that I have mostly had smiles or the "oh I remember that."