I’ve put on three stone. It can’t be because I was unintentionally eating biscuits?!

[Dishwashersaurous]

I appear to have put on three stone. But it can’t be anything to do with my actions because I only unintentionally ate the biscuits and therefore it doesn’t matter.

Anyone else done anything unintentionally??

It depends. Were they the biscuits of your equals, or those you feel superior to? Was there smirking?

Thanks @Dishwashersaurous for making a thread that caused so much missing the point. I've been laughing all the way through.

Unless of course, it was unintentional.

I'm unintentionally ignoring my scales. I hope they don't take it personally. It is not intentional, after all.

OP were they priti biscuits?

It might make a difference if you unintentionally ate ugly ones.

@IHaveBrilloHair

Snap them in half, then all the calories fall out.

Rushes off to test theory 🍪 🏃‍♀️

My new self rule is that when there are biscuits (or other treats) in the house I'm not allowed to eat them until they've been in the house for more than 2 days and by then DP has eaten them all and it's my fault that he's getting fat because I didn't eat any treats for days so he's unintentionally eaten them all instead.. this new rule has lost me 6lb so far

@cakewench

Were you standing up when you unintentionally ate said biscuits? Because I'm certain that actually burns calories.

If you eat biscuits while having sex, can you still get pregnant?

I unintentionally have a dingy messy cluttered house. Don't blame me, It's not deliberate!

You could try claiming that it's only because your'e a woman that anyone even thinks they saw you eating the biscuits.
So that means women can eat biscuits with impunity because they only have calories for men.

@lljkk I don't blame you for your unintentionally messy house.

However, I do think that if you apologise to the Civil Service about it, they might have to clean it up for you :)

@fairydustandpixies I wonder if that was the same supermarket the wine magically appeared in my trolley 🤔

I think I’m correct in saying that biologically speaking if you think hard enough about kale/spinach/leafy greens etc and THEN eat the biscuits WHILE still thinking determinedly about said greens, it tricks your brain and metabolism into thinking you’ve eaten healthily.

I’m a great believer in the power of the mind, me.

I guess if they are unintentionally Irish biscuits it does not matter if you go hungry
but I'm not worryin about that

@Wineandpyjamas

I think I’m correct in saying that biologically speaking if you think hard enough about kale/spinach/leafy greens etc and THEN eat the biscuits WHILE still thinking determinedly about said greens, it tricks your brain and metabolism into thinking you’ve eaten healthily.

I’m a great believer in the power of the mind, me.

And prevents you gettin pregnant. Win win.

Well, yes, being at home not moving 23.5 hours of the day wasn't my intention, but was forced upon me.
The biscuits however...

If you eat biscuits while having sex, can you still get pregnant?

If you eat them with the wrapper on then no you can't get pregnant but some men will try to convince you that wrapper off is best.

@2bazookas

Congratulations . Have you chosen any names for the triplets?

😂😂😂

@LarkDescending aaah I see now! Thank you 😊

I'm heading to the kitchen to unintentionally eat some choclates.

@cakewench

Were you standing up when you unintentionally ate said biscuits? Because I'm certain that actually burns calories.

Even if standing up doesn't burn ALL the calories, the leftover calories will just fall to your feet. No-one really minds fat feet.

If you have a biscuit in each hand it's a balanced diet, innit?

I thought everyone knew that broken biscuits don't count?

I have unintentionally done absolutely nothing of merit all day but I don't feel bad because I fully intended to do all my housework.

Were these biscuits consumed during secret meetins with Israeli officials?

'I'm sorry IF the secret meetins upset anybody'
(huge grin)
lyin cowbag !!!

I'm afraid I stopped reading at "mini-cereal code of conduct"... brilliant!