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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not engage with this complete idiot?

164 replies

FTEngineerM · 20/11/2020 12:37

NDN came round to get parcel and then said ‘just to let you know our dado rail in the kitchen is coming off it looks like something is pushing it from your side’ (we’re Victorian terrace and party wall is 55cm+ solid stone).

So I asked details of location and confirmed there’s nothing on the wall at all in that location let alone long enough to penetrate over half a meter.

Now NDN is threatening surveyors and their insurance company coming and assessing.

What do I do? I have so far just not engaged past this point but is that the wrong thing to do?

NDN can’t possibly know something is pushing through the wall it’s just speculation, to come around and wave around accusations without any actual evidence IMO is bonkers. But I don’t want to say or do anything that they can take and use if I take too much interest in helping resolve it.

Or am I overthinking it? And nothing will come of it.

OP posts:
TrickyD · 23/11/2020 13:33

OP, I think that the sooner you get a professional surveyor to look at it the better. The NDNs could be deliberately knocking the structure about in order to make the original problem appear to be your fault.

Original poster
FTEngineerM · 27/02/2021 08:43

Well, thought I’d come back.

Absolutely NOTHING has happened, I’ve heard all sorts of swearing and loud noises through the window which is by their back door but not a peep from insurance or surveyor.

Even seems pleasant when we’ve seen each other in the street.

So definitely was just a loada drama for absolutely nothing. At least we know where we are now with any further accusations Wink

OP posts:
Nith · 27/02/2021 09:11

Glad it's resolved OK, thanks for updating.

JollyGreenGiantess · 27/02/2021 09:46

@AnimalNitrate

Who the hell has a dado rail in 2020 anyway? The thing's probably trying to prize itself off in the hope it can jump into a time machine.
😁😁😁
HappyasLaura · 27/02/2021 09:52

We have the original Victorian dado rail in the hallway and up the first set of stairs which when we renovated our house, I insisted they keep as I love it.

BearEastie · 27/02/2021 10:01

I would not let any surveyor in - I would be telling them they could foot the bill for a surveyor of my choosing.

Based on the way they have acted.

My lovely neighbours have just had party wall work done and I actually agreed with the surveyor choice because I trust my neighbours and they haven't acted like gob shites.

thosetalesofunexpected · 27/02/2021 10:25

@ILikeTrains

Comment on misunderstanding NDN being to do with Native Americans.

I know the feeling lockdowns stress feeling is doing/ playing games with my mind too.😁

DynamoKev · 27/02/2021 10:30

@AnimalNitrate

Who the hell has a dado rail in 2020 anyway? The thing's probably trying to prize itself off in the hope it can jump into a time machine.
Yeah, get them all in landfill, cos filling skips with unfashionable stuff every three years is so good for the planet.
DietrichandDiMaggio · 27/02/2021 10:52

I can't imagine a dado rail in a kitchen -how does that work?

ladyvimes · 27/02/2021 10:58

Am I being really dumb or is a dado rail basically a pice of wood glued or screwed into a wall? Isn’t the most likely explanation that the glue or plaster has just perished with age? I don’t think a loose dado rail would be a sign of anything really. Your neighbour sounds batshit!

Viviennemary · 27/02/2021 11:02

I agree with let them crack on.

orangecinnamon · 27/02/2021 11:06

@FTEngineerM

Well, thought I’d come back.

Absolutely NOTHING has happened, I’ve heard all sorts of swearing and loud noises through the window which is by their back door but not a peep from insurance or surveyor.

Even seems pleasant when we’ve seen each other in the street.

So definitely was just a loada drama for absolutely nothing. At least we know where we are now with any further accusations Wink

Hope they not hiding anything from you !
Savethewhales · 27/02/2021 11:14

You should reply it was termites and if they are in her home they may end up in yours, and suggest to Bill her with any damage caused by her pest problem lol
What a whack job ur neighbour is, who still has dado rail nowadays

haggisandmarsbar · 27/02/2021 11:16

Original dado rails are good but my modern house (modern in the 1990s) had one, it was a fashion thing then rather than a period feature, the vendor was quite pleased with it when they sold us the house.

hansgrueber · 27/02/2021 11:26

@haggisandmarsbar

Original dado rails are good but my modern house (modern in the 1990s) had one, it was a fashion thing then rather than a period feature, the vendor was quite pleased with it when they sold us the house.
Dado rails are like all other fashions, they come and go. I recall my father panelling over 1930s doors to have a 'flush' door, similarly people boarded up lovely fireplaces and I read somewhere that original MInton tiles had been concreted over. Kitchen islands were 'the thing' in the 70s, then they went out and now they're back. Plus ca change, can't do cedillas!
Lifeisforalimitedperiodonly · 27/02/2021 11:49

If you do let the surveyor is - make sure they are aware that you have not requested them and you will not be paying a penny to them.

MintyMabel · 27/02/2021 12:03

Now NDN is threatening surveyors and their insurance company coming and assessing.

Threatening? Seems a bit hyperbolic there. Why would them calling the insurance or surveyor be a threat to you? They don’t think you are pushing things through the wall, they presumably (quite rightly) think if a dado rail suddenly starts coming away from the wall there could be an issue with the structural integrity of the wall.

There are all sorts of issues which can cause subsidence. The house may be Victorian, but the extension isn’t. It could be there was damage when the foundations were dug. There could be something affecting the water table. There could be a bad structural detail that has damaged the wall. These things can take years to cause problems.

If there was no planning permission, the searches which happen when a house is sold would likely pick that up given there is a party wall.

Let the surveyors in and see what they say. If there was a potential structural problem with my home and someone else was offering to do all the donkey work to investigate, I’d bite their hand off.

Tangohead · 27/02/2021 12:06

Good update!

Original poster
FTEngineerM · 27/02/2021 12:14

@MintyMabel

Now NDN is threatening surveyors and their insurance company coming and assessing.

Threatening? Seems a bit hyperbolic there. Why would them calling the insurance or surveyor be a threat to you? They don’t think you are pushing things through the wall, they presumably (quite rightly) think if a dado rail suddenly starts coming away from the wall there could be an issue with the structural integrity of the wall.

There are all sorts of issues which can cause subsidence. The house may be Victorian, but the extension isn’t. It could be there was damage when the foundations were dug. There could be something affecting the water table. There could be a bad structural detail that has damaged the wall. These things can take years to cause problems.

If there was no planning permission, the searches which happen when a house is sold would likely pick that up given there is a party wall.

Let the surveyors in and see what they say. If there was a potential structural problem with my home and someone else was offering to do all the donkey work to investigate, I’d bite their hand off.

Erm.. no.

It’s a roof over what was patio, there is no extra foundation, the line I’ve drawn in the pp picture is pvc doors/windows floor to ceiling.

The NDN actually said ‘you’re pushing something through the wall’ they didn’t think it was subsidence they wanted a free kitchen decoration on me/our insurance. It’s the last room left to decorate.

The house isn’t subsiding.. of course if it were I’d be sorting it myself and not living it in blindly.

OP posts:
BehindMyEyes · 27/02/2021 12:21

@AnimalNitrate

Who the hell has a dado rail in 2020 anyway? The thing's probably trying to prize itself off in the hope it can jump into a time machine.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
3orangekissesfromkazan · 27/02/2021 12:22

This is a dado rail, right?

To not engage with this complete idiot?
BearEastie · 27/02/2021 12:42

@3orangekissesfromkazan Yes.

AtSwimTwoBerts · 27/02/2021 12:47

So definitely was just a loada drama for absolutely nothing. At least we know where we are now with any further accusations

The drama was all you though. All the poor man did was casually inform you that there MIGHT be a problem from your side. You were the one calling him all kinds of names and banging on about insurance and legal cover and fuck knows what with the other gobshites on here goading you on and also calling him names.

All for nothing .

Nith · 27/02/2021 13:07

Let the surveyors in and see what they say. If there was a potential structural problem with my home and someone else was offering to do all the donkey work to investigate, I’d bite their hand off.

It's all resolved now, no-one's asking for surveyors to come in.

Pinkywoo · 27/02/2021 13:16

Completely not helpful, but my ex MIL always called them dildo rails Grin

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