DS caught me smoking, do I tell their dad before he does?

[smokingisbad]

This is really weird, but I’ve been smoking in secret for a while because of stress with work and stuff. My DC has never seen me smoke, but they’ve seen the ashtray in the balcony. My youngest DS who’s 4 is at home with tummy ache, I thought he was sleeping so went out quickly to smoke in the balcony. He woke up from his nap, but I didn’t see him until he opened the balcony door and he said “mummy, are you smoking” I panicked and was like no no.. and he said yes, you’re are smoking.

Anyway fast forward til today, this morning we’re getting ready for school and suddenly he shouts to his siblings “I saw mummy smoking yesterday, I’m going to tell daddy” and put his hand up to his mouth pretending he was smoking.

I’m shocked he knows what it is at 4 years old, even though he’s never seen me smoke before.

My ex DH know I quit, but doesn’t know I started again. I want to quit, but my question is their dad is picking them up tomorrow, so do I tell him first what happened or do I wait and see if DS tells him?

I don’t want him thinking I’m sitting there smoking in front of the kids and doing all sorts. Im embarrassed tbh.

It is none of your ex's business so I wouldn't tell him.

It is a manky and unhealthy habit that you shouldn't be modeling for your dc.

OP, this is a situation when it's totally fine to lie to your child and convince them it was only a dream. We've all done it before! Don't beat yourself up about it!

You’re a grown up and it’s not up to your DH to lecture you - it’s your choice. It’s not a healthy choice or a great way of relieving stress long term but really it’s no one else’s decision.

It’s none of his damn business OP, don’t worry. Quite possibly he know anyway, no one ever successfully smokes in secret.

My DF does but thinks we don’t know, but it’s very obvious lol. One time I went to speak to him on the drive and he put the smoke behind his back & continued to talk to me. There was a wee puff smoke floating up behind head 😁🙊😂

You don't owe your ex an explanation but maybe think about what this means for your ds. You say that you wanted to try it influenced by your dad, how would you feel if your ds does the same. Is this why you are concerned about your ex opinion?