To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

Sorry that was to @EveryDayIsADuvetDay

@Nina9406 if I could insert a bomb meme I would

I was also left most of the day when I was off ill as my mum was on her own. Luckily I don’t have to face that choice myself!!

I just can’t see the drama

@Runningdownthathill

So according to the NSPCC it’s okay to leave a child over 3 for short periods to build ‘independence’? I really can’t believe that.

A child of 3!

But define "leave a child for short periods"

Do they mean leave them for 15 mins in another room, or while you hang the washing out or while you go to the shop?

I draw the line at leaving the premises.

Yanbu. It is not something u chose to do for easy life. You weighted up the options and that one was the best one. She was safe in her house for a shirt time. U know her and trust it to be OK and it was. Children at 7 don't need constant supervision they can be trusted to follow instructions and have a concept of danger. She is 7 not 18 months. Children that age go out to play all the time which is far risky imo with cars and roaming to far. Not ideal. But OK as a one off. She was fine. Dont feel bad.

SofiaAmes
I still worry about leaving ds home alone and he's 20 and lives in his own apartment.

🤣

Lessofallthisunpleasantness

Why would your 7 year old be terrified to be alone for 15 minutes. This sounds unusual. Most kids would not be bothered

I think we can pass on our fears to our children and maybe that is what has happened here. It happens with dogs too.

I don’t think it is unusual or has anything to do with projecting our fears to our children. Some children are more nervous than others. Some parents are more in tune with their children’s fears. It doesn’t mean they are causing the child to be fearful.
My older child would have relished being left on their own. My younger, more immature child and more dramatic child would get scared.
I can either ignore this, tell him he will be fine and push him to stay on his own or I can make the decision not to leave him until he is comfortable.
What would be unusual would be if I ignored his feelings and put him in a situation which caused him stress and fear.

I think most, although not all, children will grow out of their insecurities, with some encouragement, as they get older and in their own time. Having a blanket approach to a child’s feelings because a child is a certain number of years isn’t particularly healthy surely?

I'm surprised at how many people assume others have people on standby that can provide childcare or give your kids a life home from school
I moved to a new area a few years ago, away from my family. My neighbours are either working or picking up their own kids from (a different) school. I don't know anyone well enough to ask them to bring my kids home from school and my in laws wouldn't come and watch them because of covid. There's no after school club in their school.
I'm lucky that when my son had to stay home as someone in his class had it, my husband was working from home so I didn't have to take him with me. My son is 7 and personally wouldn't leave alone as I don't trust him lol.
You did what you had to do when you were stuck and he was fine. Please don't worry!

A lift not a life

Yabu for leaving her alone, strictly speaking she cannot leave the house so shouldn't be going in the car either, you need a plan b. Yes I know it's hard but it's the law and for good reason

My own child is much younger than this so haven't been in a situation where I've considered it and I'm not that familiar with 7 year olds, but I'm genuinely shocked that this is apparently not considered ok now. My mum - who I'd describe as quite over-protective - used to have to drive me to the bus stop (we lived very rurally) every morning once I went to secondary school, leaving my brother at home for 15ish minutes when she did so. He would have been 7 when I first went to secondary. I honestly don't think it occurred to anyone that he'd be dragged along rather than left, I honestly didn't realise that that's now considered so irresponsible!

I started leaving mine at 7 to nip to the shop etc. They could use a mobile, use the house phone and mum lived on the next street.

Depends on the duration and the support in place if needed. You have to start sometime.

I set clear boundaries before hand. Pulled down our roller Blind in the lounge and said not to pull it up so nobody knew she was alone.
(Wasn't thinking of police, was more thinking of if somebody was knocking at the door).

We live in a safe cul de sac but neighbors are elderly so it felt irresponsible to approach them about a child isolating.

We have a ring doorbell and Alexa so I could see she was still inside the house and we could "drop in" on each other to check. And obviously I can speak to anybody that knocks on the door wherever I am.

I had been homeschooling her all day so she was excited when I said all I wanted her to do was curl up on the sofa with her iPad.

I had a nearly 2 year old to take with me on the school run and the others are aged up to 9.

This week has been such an impossible juggle.
I'm not by any means defending myself. Just this was my thought process, it's one of those days where you just feel like you've completely fucked up.

I'm not hysterical person.i think ypuade the wrong choice. But in your situation I would have phoned the school and ask if there was another parent in one of the other kids classes who could offer a lift.
Also why couldn't the older ones walk themselves In a group?
I really think seven is far too young to be left alone.

Some of the posters need to get a grip.
Some 7 yo kid would not be scared. Others cannot be left alone.
Op had no other option.
I actually left my 8yo at home in the morning while I took my youngest to school. It was about 25 mins, door locked, dc was fine in this regard. Only stayed at home as not feeling well so she was better off resting than coming with me.

Good grief what is the matter with some of the people on this thread? When I was 7 I’d walk to my friend’s house alone which was at least 10 minutes away then we’d go and play on a building site!!

Your child was fine, it was a very short amount of time. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

I left my son alone for half an hour when he was 7. I shat a brick every second that I was away from him. Turns out, I had every reason to be worried as the guy directly across the road (who I regularly chatted to) was a paedophile. The police informed me of this a year later. I've since moved away from there and the other day, three years on, he has been convicted of a catalogue of offences. I look back to that time with absolute horror.

Anyway, apart from that, during that half an hour, I had flashes of him tripping on the stairs, a fire breaking out, all sorts of things. I've only left him at home once since, and he's older now and usually holed away in his room on tech. Parenting is such a worry. Don't beat yourself up though. Not much you could have done and all was fine.

I had to leave my then 6 year old at home when he was off school ill to nip to the shops, my dad babysat via phone while I went, they just sat & had a gossip & ds showed him the Lego he had been building. Times have changed, when I was 12 I looked after my 6 year old brother during school holidays while my mum was at work, nowadays she would probably have been reported to SS for doing it.

My 7 year old would be fine. I haven't had to leave him yet but I think he'd cope.

As a matter of interest, OP, what would you have done about the school run if the 7 year old had been in school? Presumably you would have had the same problem in terms of space in the car?