To leave my 7.5 year old home alone today?

[brewbrewbrew]

She's off school as the bubble are isolating and I had school runs to do today.
Was fine for the morning run as dh was here but not for the afternoon one.

I drive a 7 seater car and had been given a curtesy car for the day. This car only has 5 seats and I needed 6 if dd was going to fit in.

I couldn't do anything else at short notice. The others were at school and needed collecting.

I spoke to her beforehand about the dangers and what to do if x or y happened, explained she could use Alexa to call my mobile also if there was a problem. I was gone about 15 minutes in total.
Even if I'd have walked (which isn't so close) she wouldn't have been able to come to the school with me as they've sent the bubble home. But at least next time I can leave her in the car if needs be now we've got the big one back.

I came home and she was where I'd left her, on the sofa watching tv lying down on her iPa

Is this awful of me? I feel so negligent.

15 minutes I think is fine if she's comfortable with it

Really don’t see this as a problem. She’s in year 3. She’s sensible. She wasn’t scared. You gave her clear boundaries which she understood. It was for a short time for a necessary reason (not a whole morning so you could go shopping). And also much safer than putting too many children in the car. It isn’t against the law. She isn’t 4 or any of the other ages people have been talking about (which are completely irrelevant.)

Don’t feel guilty OP. Mumsnet can sometimes be a bit hysterical. Some posters will end up with older children who have no independence and are unable to think for themselves or look after themselves because their parents have protected them so completely and their children are therefore unable to assess risk for themselves or are terrified of everything. What you did in those circumstances was completely reasonable. Stop beating yourself up.

Seriously crap parenting on full display, leaving 7 year old children and using their own negligent childhood as an excuse for it!

No, the NSPCC suggest children should be twelve before being left at home.

Dangerous to leave a seven year old for any amount of time, what if your car breaks down? You get a flat tyre? Something reverses into you etc. It does not need to be dramatic, at all. Just things that happen in life.

It is not on to leave young children full stop.

No way would I leave a 7 year old home alone. My DD is 6 but I know that she's not going to be mature enough to deal with any potential situation that could arise if left home alone in a years time. What if she hurt herself? Something happened in the house? Someone knocked on the door? What if something happened to YOU and you weren't back in 15 minutes?

the NSPCC suggest children should be twelve before being left at home.
no, they don’t.
Directly from their recommendations:
Our recommendations

Babies and toddlers should never be left home alone.
Children under 12 years old shouldn't be left home alone for long.
Children under 16 years old shouldn't be left alone overnight.

I wouldn’t have left mine (twins) as they would have fought but DS3 I would be fine with that.

Other countries children of 7 are walking to school alone, 15 mins for a child who isn’t going to upset (and I presume OP knows her own kid!) is fine.

And electrical fire could happen, that’s true. That’s why we’re supposed to teach our kids an escape route from the property . A 7 year old should be fully able and aware of how to open an outside door.

No I wouldn't have. It's not about how sensible they are - mine would be fine - but what could happen when you're out. Car accident, delays, whatever. You just don't know, and they're not old enough to cope with the unexpected or have to tools to do so.

My dd is 7 she would have been terrified. She hates some one not being on the same floor as her at home never mind not out of the house

Your child need professional help with that. But it has nothing to do with anyone else's 7 year old.

There are some bonkers overprotective parents on this thread. I really feel for the children whose parents are so incapable of sensibly assessing risk they never get to develop age appropriate independence.

t's not about how sensible they are - mine would be fine - but what could happen when you're out. Car accident

So being in a car accident is somehow better than being home along, uninjured?
This goes to show just how bad people are at risk assessment. Which means they shouldn't be advising others on it.

No way would I have done that. What if you had a breakdown? Or there was a problem at one of the schools? Or someone bumped into your car?

@FudgeDrudge

My dd is 7 she would have been terrified. She hates some one not being on the same floor as her at home never mind not out of the house

Your child need professional help with that. But it has nothing to do with anyone else's 7 year old.

I would say it’s the parent that needs help in the first instance. The child has probably learned her disproportionate fears from the parent and would get over them of her own accord if she was parented more sensibly.

@TheCountessofFitzdotterel

There are some bonkers overprotective parents on this thread. I really feel for the children whose parents are so incapable of sensibly assessing risk they never get to develop age appropriate independence.

Indeed

Why do people just keep making things up?
It's not illegal and the NSPCC do not say never leave an under 12 alone ever.

A 7yr old is year 3 isn't it? Year 3s are allowed to walk to school and go home alone after school and clubs at my dcs school.
They will be crossing roads, some will be walking across town. They are not babies.

Some people on here have such overactive imaginations I don't know how they ever leave the house.
A 7 year old surely knows how to tell the time if their parent doesn't come back. If your 7yr old doesn't know how to sit on their own for 15 minutes or know how to use their common sense and use a telephone, call a trusted person or 999 or go to a neighbour or friend's house for help then maybe it's you who's neglectful by coddling and babying your dc.

My dd is 7 she would have been terrified. She hates some one not being on the same floor as her at home never mind not out of the house

This is really worrying. You should really look into some professional help for her

Lots of people calling out how awful a parent op is, but no solutions to what she should have done

@PaperTowels

No way would I have done that. What if you had a breakdown? Or there was a problem at one of the schools? Or someone bumped into your car?

If something happens to Op it's fairly clear that Op would then be in a different situation and call her DH home from work to help.

In probably the same way that if Op fell down the stairs and broke a leg, calling DH to deal with the other children while she gets her leg fixed.

The risk to the children then becomes greater than the risk to a baby sitter of catching covid.

Sometimes parents just need to make a call. Decide on the least risky option and be prepared to defend it.

Whenever I was off school ill, and my mum had to go and pick up my younger brother, she would leave me in the house (usually in bed or on the sofa watching TV) until she came back. I knew that I shouldn't answer the door, touch any plugs, make any food, whatever, when I was on my own. Like you, it was a case of 15 minutes. I don't remember ever being scared, and I think it was common practice back then.

So long as she knew what to do or where to go if something happened I actually think it's fine as a one-off.

Meh, I think it’s fine. I was left alone at this age for much longer and survived, enjoyed it even.

My eldest is 10 and I’m in the same situation as you currently. No childcare, no car because DH takes it to work so I walk to collect my other DC and DS has to stay home. Ridiculous thing is he had a test on Sunday and it was negative so we know he doesn’t have it but he still has to isolate for 2 weeks because them’s the rules...

Not ideal, but I may have done this in.your situation and I think of myself as over cautious.

Even if you had the 7 seater you’d have to leave her in the car so you’d have parents on here slating you for that too.

You did the right thing, the only thing you could do in your situation. She was fine so don’t beat yourself up.

It's not about how sensible they are - mine would be fine - but what could happen when you're out. Car accident, delays, whatever

So in this hypothetical scenario where the OP has been in a car accident which was so serious that it has rendered her incapable of alerting anyone that her DD is home alone- so she's basically either unconscious or dead - we are saying that it would be better for the DD to have been in the car as well, so that she could also have the opportunity to be unconscious or dead?

What a load of fucking nonsense. This thread is embarrassing. People need to get their anxiety in check if it's resulting in judgement as poor as this...

Don't beat yourself up over it - you made a decision - and she was fine. You wouldn't normally have left her if you had your own car. Its over and done - and it sounds like you wouldn't do it again.

My son is 12, and still, I am afraid to leave him alone. Of course, this is nonsense, nothing will happen if I'm not home for 20 minutes, and he is quiet and calm, will play or watch movies. I think it's okay to worry but trust your child. You do the right thing to leave the first 15 minutes, I did the same, it helps your child not to be afraid.

I wouldn't at 7.

The isolation rules create situations like this though, and it must be so hard for some people.

When DD was isolating due to a contact of a few mins at school, I just kept DS off too. They whinged. But..meh. First they tried telling me that I should just bring DD with me on the school run, even though she was meant to be isolating But I fought them on that as I said I would feel forever guilty if someone got ill because of it. They then told me if I didn't 'sort it' I might get a fine, so I tld them to do that if they felt the need. Not turned up yet, but still might.