To wonder if people with anxiety feel this way, too?

[pompomsandglitter]

Hello - firstly I hope you're all well and keeping safe 🙂

So I was diagnosed with Anxiety at age 11, after a life changing event in my life that has completely shattered my world..I'm 23 now.

I am on medication to stabilise my Anxiety.

I don't know if other anxiety sufferers get this way too, but I will get consumed with obsessive thoughts, and really struggle to see them as just 'silly thoughts' like they really are.
My wonderful DP is so lovely and supportive and tells me to just think of them, when they pop into my head - as silly thoughts and ignore them, but I just can't.

For example:

sometimes when I'm driving to work and see just one magpie (one for sorrow) I'm convinced something bad will happen, or I will have a terrible day.

*Another example, which happens to me A LOT and at least once a day:
*
I could be going about my day, no worries, no anxiety about anything.. and suddenly something will pop into my mind and it consumes me.. most often it's something along the lines of 'if you don't press this door handle down XXX amount of times, something terrible will happen to XXX family member'
or if you don't tap your pen XXX times, you will have bad luck all day' or something like that..

Actually writing it down in words, makes me realise how silly this makes me sound. I promise I'm of sound mind and completely aware that this makes me seem crazy, but these obsessive thoughts are consuming me.. and I don't know what to do. 😟

I suppose I was just wondering if anybody has had the same kind of thing before? Or any tips to get on with my life without these horrible consuming thoughts.

Thank you in advance 😌

Yes very much so. These are called intrusive thought. You will find lots of info if you google. My meds helped hugely in reducing them. Maybe consider changing meds or dosage if the thoughts are impacting your daily life. And of course therapy is a huge help but v expensive.

I'm so sorry to hear of your trauma and subsequent anxiety.

Yes, they're called intrusive thoughts and go hand in hand with anxiety - specifically OCD, which isn't often as it's commonly portrayed with obsessive hand washing etc.

Medication helps mine...but they still appear sometimes when I'm particularly anxious or have things going on in my life.

Speak to yougp about talking therapy, if you feel ready to work on making change.

This sounds similar to how I was when I had OCD, in my case it manifested as obsessive thoughts that negatively impacted every area of my life. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I was suffering terrible anxiety at the time either. CBT was life changing for me, life saving even. Definitely worth exploring alongside medication. I really wish you well, it was 10 years ago for me and feels like a lifetime ago, I’m so glad I’m not in the thrall of it anymore.

@Regularsizedrudy oh I'm so glad I'm not the only one, but of course I'm sorry you've experienced this, too.
I can't begin to tell you how silly I felt just writing this, but I'm honestly so sick of these thoughts consuming my every day life.

Thank you for your suggestions, I will look into a higher dosage of my medication and also ask about therapy / see if my doctors know of an organisation that could help 🙂 x

I could be going about my day, no worries, no anxiety about anything.. and suddenly something will pop into my mind and it consumes me.. most often it's something along the lines of 'if you don't press this door handle down XXX amount of times, something terrible will happen to XXX family member'
or if you don't tap your pen XXX times, you will have bad luck all day' or something like that..

Sounds more like Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) rather than anxiety.

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/about-ocd/

Have you ever tried cognitive behavioural therapy?

Yep. Absolute classic anxiety.

@whitewineandmagnums thank you, I didn't ever pay much attention of this at first but have noticed as I'm getting older it's becoming kore prominent in my every day life.. x

I have OCD, and that sounds similar to me.

I also have intrusive thoughts - vile ones really. I used to be convinced that if I didn’t read my kids a bedtime story they would die in their sleep.

If I’m sick, I convince myself it’s cancer/terminal.

@AlrightTreacle I've never heard of that actually! sorry about my ignorance. It sounds like this could really help, though. I will definitely look into this.
I'm at the point in my life where I don't want to be carrying the weight of this behaviour on my shoulders any more, I feel like people around me must notice my strange behaviour and wonder what is wrong with me.. but once I've had one of my thoughts, I have to carry it through otherwise the panic consume me..

@Tunnocks34 oh yes, sounds so much like me. I'm so sorry you're also going through the same.

My thoughts are also along the same lines. I didn't want to post exactly what they are for fear of being thought of as crazy, but yes - kind almost always consist of death within my family, or friends. It's awful. X

I have OCD and anxiety and this is definitely intrusive thoughts and very relatable, to the point where I now have to do a whole routine before bed etc. !!

No advice but here to let you know you're not alone

Have you ever had trauma therapy? A proper trauma assessment? Or were you just palmed off with an anxiety diagnosis?

The reason your anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gotten stuck might be because the root cause - the trauma - has not been addressed and instead they've tried to treat the symptoms/side effects (I.e. anxiety).

Depression and/or anxiety are side effects of trauma. Treat the trauma and they resolve. Try to treat them on their own... not so much.

Trauma disrupts your sense of safety and control in the world. Severe anxiety and compulsive thoughts can result - it's your brain trying to manage the unsafeness.

@MsCrapola I'm sorry you're having to go through the same. It's awful and really does consume such a huge part of daily life.

I'm the same, and also - if I see a certain number on the clock - for example 11:11 I have to stop everything I am doing and make a wish for my family and my loved ones, otherwise again, bad luck will come.

It's just controlling my entire life to the point that everything I do is due to an ulterior motive / obsessive thought.

@pompomsandglitter

People probably haven't noticed at all. One of my best friends used to have compulsions to do stuff like this, no one else noticed and often used to comment on how confident she came across as.

almost always consist of death within my family, or friends

Oh, and that is also a very normal theme after trauma.

You're not crazy. You're traumatised.

I've had anxiety in some form or anther my whole life. I've also had these thoughts for as long as I can remember. As a teenager at school it was things like 'if I don't cut my sandwhich a certain way I'll fail my test' (not sure why my sandwiches woukd affect my school work!) and as I got older I associated items I was wearing or the route I walked somewhere with good or bad things happening. I stopped wearing a favourite necklace as I became convinced that every time I wore it someone I knew got ill. I also had to always wash my hands twice as once wouldn't get them clean (in my mind). Very intrusive and nothing I could do to stop them.

But on the plus, this level of anxiety and thoughts come and go. I've not really had any for a few months. I think the slower pace of life during the pandemic has helped. ( I now work from home instead of two hour daily communte) Before we locked down in March I was on the verge of asking for medication as my mind was totally fogged with anxiety and thoughts. I've had a couple of different medications throughout my life, but none totally got rid of these intrusive thoughts. If they get worse again then I'd ask to try something else, but at the minute I'm pretty stable.

I hope that you can find some help or support. It can be exhausting.

@user18435677565533 I had trauma therapy for a few years after the event, I do feel they really helped and the initial worries that I had at the time.

I feel as I've gotten older, I've definitely become worse. X

I think this is OCD rather than anxiety.

I have anxiety and can get obsessive about thoughts but it would be more like, for example, having a dream about a man with a gun then obsessing about meeting a gunman outside the house and feeling fearful about going for a walk, or reading about a mugging in the news then being terrified I’ll be mugged or getting a spot and being worried it might be cancer rather than what you describe which is very ritualised eg pressing a handle X times.

Either way I think you’d benefit from seeing your Gp and asking for a referral.

@AlrightTreacle that's really reassuring to hear, thank you for that. I hope that nobody notices, I just feel as though sometimes the sheer randomness of what I find myself doing must make me look so strange 😫🥴

@user18435677565533

almost always consist of death within my family, or friends

Oh, and that is also a very normal theme after trauma.

You're not crazy. You're traumatised.

I think you're right. Thank you, It's nice to hear that I'm not a crazy lady! I sometimes feel so alone in my mind and thoughts and just don't know where to turn. X

Another OCD sufferer here OP, and this sounds very familiar to me! I manage my condition thanks to CBT, which I would really recommend (I was on medication for a few years but now no longer need it). FWIW my symptoms were very bad at your age and life was a struggle, but since my 30s things have been much easier - OCD is something I still live with but it doesn’t control me like it used to. Good luck

Hello, these thoughts are quite common, where people have suffered trauma

@AliciaMayEmory I'm sorry you've had the same - yes you're right, it's absolutely exhausting and I am constantly drained and so tired - without any real reason.
The thoughts you had are almost exactly the same as me. It's nice to hear I'm not alone.

I hope you feel better too. X