To wonder if people with anxiety feel this way, too?

[pompomsandglitter]

Hello - firstly I hope you're all well and keeping safe 🙂

So I was diagnosed with Anxiety at age 11, after a life changing event in my life that has completely shattered my world..I'm 23 now.

I am on medication to stabilise my Anxiety.

I don't know if other anxiety sufferers get this way too, but I will get consumed with obsessive thoughts, and really struggle to see them as just 'silly thoughts' like they really are.
My wonderful DP is so lovely and supportive and tells me to just think of them, when they pop into my head - as silly thoughts and ignore them, but I just can't.

For example:

sometimes when I'm driving to work and see just one magpie (one for sorrow) I'm convinced something bad will happen, or I will have a terrible day.

*Another example, which happens to me A LOT and at least once a day:
*
I could be going about my day, no worries, no anxiety about anything.. and suddenly something will pop into my mind and it consumes me.. most often it's something along the lines of 'if you don't press this door handle down XXX amount of times, something terrible will happen to XXX family member'
or if you don't tap your pen XXX times, you will have bad luck all day' or something like that..

Actually writing it down in words, makes me realise how silly this makes me sound. I promise I'm of sound mind and completely aware that this makes me seem crazy, but these obsessive thoughts are consuming me.. and I don't know what to do. 😟

I suppose I was just wondering if anybody has had the same kind of thing before? Or any tips to get on with my life without these horrible consuming thoughts.

Thank you, yes it is so awful and really consumes your brain and also time. I find OCD can be physically painful and it is so tiresome. I would say this is more OCD but the anxiety does go hand in hand.

I'm currently having CBT for it and have been told to try exposure and response prevention but it is really really hard. It's early days though so we will see how it goes.

I think it'd be worth contacting your GP as it is really mentally draining for you I imagine. CBT would be helpful possibly :)

I had those thoughts as a child and would stand there tapping something or whatever... I only learned about OCD etc when I was much older and it seemed to have gone away, though still have panic / anxiety.

@Francescat sorry to hear that you also suffered the same. The more I hear from you all, the more I think it must be an element of OCD. I haven't ever really given it much thought, it's just a part of 'me' and my daily life. But it shouldn't be this way, it's draining me and I'm so utterly exhausted. Thank you for your help 😌😌

@pompomsandglitter

You can refer yourself for a talking therapy like CBT without seeing your GP:

www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/

Unfortunately not sure what the waiting lists would be like atm, with the recent rise in mental health problems.

Yeah it’s OCD, I had very similar from an early age (around 7 or 8 when it started) where it started with things like having to switch the lights on and off twice, having to touch things with my right hand last, having ‘good’ and ‘bad’ numbers and so on, all with the idea that if i didn’t do this then something bad would happen to myself or loved one. Progressively got worse throughout my teen years but really spiralled out of control when I had a baby after a traumatic birth and started making life unbearable. Finally sought help specifically for it and had some CBT sessions. Learnt some very helpful strategies and also bought and read some helpful self-help books on OCD. A few years on and I’m still much better and strong enough to ignore the compulsions and get on with life.

I'm like this with my anxiety, OP. I also have OCD and find that the intrusive thoughts really feed the physical manifestations. Of course, OCD also includes intrusive/obsessive thought for many people.

Do you have any friends who have similar issues with anxiety? I've found that when they flare up I feel better for chatting with others who know how it is. We can't help but laugh sometimes at sone of the utterly random shit we come out with! Honestly, when you say it out loud it seems to take some of it's power away.

@MsCrapola yes absolutely, thank you I will give that a go and will be in touch again with my GP ASAP to discuss this further. 💓

It is absolutely mentally and physically draining. I am so tired all the time. No energy, no motivation. I feel like I'm just the shell of who I used to be. And others around me are really beginning to notice this, too.

I wake up in the morning after a very good and solid unbroken sleep, but as soon as I open my eyes, get up, get ready for the day.. I could so very easily get back into bed and sleep for the rest of the day again. The tiredness and fatigue really consumes me. I didn't even think that my obsessive behaviour could be the cause of this. Thank you

@AlrightTreacle thank you so much, I really appreciate your help.
I never expected so many lovely and kind comments 🥺🥰

Again, sorry for my ignorance, can I ask what CBT is? It sounds as though this could be really beneficial to me, thank you! X

@picklecustard yes what you describe in your childhood, light switches, good and bad numbers.. it's like I wrote that myself! It's me down to a T.
I'm so sorry to hear of your traumatic birth 😟 I really hope you're feeling better now. X x

@ktp100 I don't think that any of my friends suffer to the extremity that I do, sadly. I do have a good friend that suffers terribly with her anxiety, but doesn't have the obsessive thoughts like I do (we have discussed this before) but I will definitely reach out to her and ask her for some support when I need it. Thank you 💓

It's not silly at all. My DD has issues with intrusive thoughts, it's a form of OCD. Understanding what is was, why and how really helped her. She had help learning how to manage this when she was only 8. As a family we all had to understand it better.
Don't struggle by yourself, it can be managed with a bit of time and support. It's emotionally very debilitating.

@pompomsandglitter

I'm not very good at explaining it, but it's a type of talking therapy that works on changing the way you think and react to intrusive thoughts. You usually have sessions with a therapist and also "homework" to do in between sessions. It's hard work but a lot of people find it helpful for things like depression, anxiety and OCD.

About CBT:
www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/about-cbt/

@Beamur bless your DD, I hope she's feeling better. It's really very debilitating - you're right. I feel like life as I once knew it is almost like a distant memory. X

@AlrightTreacle that's great, thank you so much once again. I'm going to have a look into this, I feel like I'm at my witts end with it all now and just want my life back! Xx

Following for more information as gp says I have anxiety but a lot of thes symptoms on here are what I experience. Have horrible thoughts that something bad will happen to my daughter or dp. I can't walk over 3 stands (drains) on the road, only walk the first 2, if I stand on the 3rd I think about it the rest of the day. Constantly think close family etc are going to die! If I get ill, it's the worst, I have cancer etc when in fact it's a simple virus. Lots more things like this but I would be here all day. Sorry to anyone who is living with this as it's a constant battle with you're own mind

@StormsDontLastForever so sorry you're going through the same!
Yes I'm the exact same way in terms of superstition, as well!
Can't walk over 3 drains
Can't walk under a ladder
Have to salute the magpies if it's before 12:00pm

It's absolutely draining and my mind is just utter chaos!

She's much better, but it does flare up from time to time when certain things trigger it. She's very anxious around germs too which has made this year, shall we say, interesting.
But she's an amazing, funny, clever kid who copes really well (most of the time).
I wish you all the very best as I've seen close up how tough this is. It can be done though

Sounds like ocd to me too.

I had/have ocd for over 20 years. A sudden bereavement drove me over the edge a few years ago, and it really kicked up and I had to do all these ridiculous things to keep my loved ones ‘safe’ and prevent them dying.

Cbt was an absolute game changer for me, it saved my life. It was hard but so, so worth it. I know I’ll always have ocd and am aware that high stress and difficult times could cause a flare up, but I have the tools now to cope with it. I had horribly intrusive thoughts when my DTs were newborns, but was able to get through it with the tools I’d been equipped with.

One thing that helped me with the intrusive thoughts is to acknowledge them but imagine them as a handkerchief that I’m holding in my hand that’s blowing with the wind. Once I’ve finished acknowledging it, I imagine letting it go and watching it blow away. I generally for some reason imagine a pink one floating away on a sunny day.

I’m also on sertaline which keeps my anxiety/pnd in check. I’d been anti ads all my life until I had my children, then I started taking them because the babies needed me to be better.

Please speak to your GP. Push for cbt, and if you’re comfortable take ads to help manage the anxiety. Good luck 💐

@pompomsandglitter ah I'm sorry to hear you have bad anxiety

I definitely know what you mean as I have the same thing. Like others have said it sounds like OCD, I had this when I was a teenager and it spiralled around rituals and if I didn't do them in a certain order and a certain number of times, something bad would happen.

I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder that had manifested itself into health anxiety last year after I'd had my first baby and used to go to Mind for counselling which I found really helped, you can do a self referral through their website. My counsellor offered CBT but I found the sessions alone were enough to help me. My health anxiety seemed to stop once I'd seen a specialist (to cut a long story short I was worried about a lymph node, and then about what I thought was a lump in my breast), but once those things had been sorted, I felt great. When I fell pregnant with my second baby I felt the health anxiety come back, now I've given birth it's still there and Im worried about something else, and I too feel that intrusive thoughts are more present. I try to tell myself that that's all they are - thoughts - but it can be hard.

Please know you are not alone and if you feel it'll help, speak to your GP about a change in meds or refer yourself to Mind - they really worked for me

@Beamur I'm glad she's much better! It's such a shame that things like this exist! I'm otherwise a really happy, calm positive person but when these thoughts come over me, it's like switch has been flicked 😟 xx

All art of anxiety, the thoughts are intrusive thoughts or magical thinking (e.g if I wear my blue top x will happen - when in reality it will have no effect whatsoever) being consumed by them is ruminating and you doing something to cancel them out is a safety behaviour. Definitely go for cbt - your therapist should challenge you to tackle the thoughts head on to prove they are just thoughts and can’t influence / do anything and will also give you tools and strategies to tackle the rumination and safety behaviours.

I had cbt for a year - it was really hard but so worth it - best thing I’ve done after having anxiety for years and although a still have a little bit of anxiety at times it’s not debilitating as it was, and I still use all the techniques to help with it

@MuchTooTired that is a really lovely way of thinking about this. Thanks so much, I will definitely remember your idea of letting the thought drift away in the wind when this next happens to me. I'm glad you're doing better!

I'm definitely going to push for support, I'm usually not one to ask for help and don't really push for my rights / stand my ground, but this is consuming me now and I really need some help. Thank you x

@dillydallydollydaydream7 so sorry you've had the same. It's such a horrible thing to have to go through!
I will certainly look into referring myself to MIND. Thank you x

This morning i had to go to work in the wrong uniform because i put my troysers on the wrong way round. I think it would be bad luck to change them to the right way round so i wore leggings i walk one way to work, i cant walk back the same route or something bad will happen.

Magpies make me really nervous, like really nervous.

I could go on...

I have GAD and BPD and once a negative thought gets in my head it festers like a cancer to the point i can barely function.

I control it (just) with medication.

I don't consider the thoughts to be 'silly' they are too destructive

@Mrsdoubtfireswig thank you, I'm definitely going to push for help with this. I didn't realise how common it really is! I think you feel so alone sometimes and don't realise that others are going through it Too. X