What would you think if your Mum sent you this?

[Autumnleavesfluttering]

"Perhaps that's how it is for every woman. The repression your female ancestors suffered accumulates over the generations, resentment building in daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter like hair clogging a washing machine filter, until along comes a child who is so pumped full of fury that she kicks all obstructions out of the way.

I became the receptacle for her pain, her fury, her bitterness...
I dragged it behind me as an ox drags its plough

• Violette Leduc, La Batarde, 1964

• from a book by Viv Albertine. I haven't read the book, so don't know the wider context.

What do you think it means? In particular, the part about the receptacle for pain etc?

One of the reasons I didn't have children is because I didn't want to pass on my insecurities, poor mental health and tendency to depression. I didn't feel as though I could have been the mother I would have wanted to be so I decided not to do it.

no the daughter is being a strong feminist?

@TheLastStarfighter

You are the child, carrying her burdens but kicking the obstacles out if the way.

She is proud of you for doing the things she couldn’t.

I agree

It's pretty clear to me? I'd be quite proud if my mum was feminist enough send me this. Sadly this would be double Dutch to her!

It could be an apology? She was angry with her position / role as a woman and burdened you with it as the child. But you are able to /should break free from the problems she faced and her mum before her etc. etc.

A receptacle is a container so she filled you up with her anger and you carried it.

She's being deliberately and pretentiously enigmatic
(Maybe reply 'get over yourself' ?🤣🤭)

I'd read it as being about breaking the cycle of intergenerational trauma

@Calmandmeasured1

It sounds to me as if you and your mum have/had a very challenging and difficult relationship and she is looking for answers. She now believes she has found them and she considers your behaviour towards her is what is at fault. She is hurt but sort of reaching out. She wants you to realise what (she considers) your behaviour has done to her.

I presume you have gone NC with her?

Whaaaaaat??? definitely not how I read it

@Thingsdogetbetter

It's a feminist statement, not about mother and child relationships surely.

The awareness of, anger at, and pain caused by the repression of woman grows with each generation. Eventually a generation comes along who says fuck this and kicks back overthrowing the system that represses women.

Nothing do with you and her personality. Surely!

This is how I read it too

It's a feminist statement & I'd read it as pride that you are the one that has kicked back at the stifling attitudes your mum & the women before her suffered & made your own way in life

Thanks all. I've just caught up on the thread, it is interesting and helpful to get a variety of views.

I think my wariness made me a little guarded, because I have felt guilt in the past about limiting my mother's opportunities in life (I came along at a deeply awkward and inconvenient time for her) but overall I like the message. So I'm choosing to see all the good interpretations, and assume that was what she meant.

@Autumnleavesfluttering

Thanks all. I've just caught up on the thread, it is interesting and helpful to get a variety of views.

I think my wariness made me a little guarded, because I have felt guilt in the past about limiting my mother's opportunities in life (I came along at a deeply awkward and inconvenient time for her) but overall I like the message. So I'm choosing to see all the good interpretations, and assume that was what she meant.

Is that guilt self inflicted or have you been made aware of your mother's limited opportunities by her behaviour,words etc?