Anybody else have friends who never get in touch first ?

[Whitechocolatemarshmallow]

This group of friends I have had since school (now 30). I looked on the whatsapp group we have and since March, bar 2/3 occasions every single conversation or attempt to meet up (Covid permitting) has been started by me.
I must add that I have adhered to all the Covid rules with regard to how many can meet etc.

It's not just them though, I realised that I only have 2 friends who initiate convo first, but they live abroad.

I know people will say 'People are busy/have their own lives'/don't need to stay in touch all the time.'
And that's fine, I get that, but months and months on end ?

Makes me think they are replying just to be nice/out of habit.

Feel a bit down today. I don't need constant contact and weekly meet ups or anything, but i'd love to have a nice group who I could go out for drinks etc. With every couple of weeks or whatever.

Does anyone else feel this way, and what do you do about it ?

Think it's harder as you get older and after lockdown i'll just need to throw myself into clubs etc.

I've muted and archived the whatsapp group as I was sick of it being me all the time.

I work, though that's zero to do with it.
Week of hell yet ok to make numerous other social media posts and messages ? Ok

I have friends who never contact me first, and I have friends I never contact first - it's just a matter of habit and who is more proactive. It doesn't bother me if I always initiate contact as long as they are enthusiastic about meeting up when I do - I just assume they were looking forward to hearing from me when I was free to do something (as I am with my more proactive friends).

@Whitechocolatemarshmallow

I work, though that's zero to do with it. Week of hell yet ok to make numerous other social media posts and messages ? Ok

People aren't too busy to contact you OP. You're just not very nice and come across as bitter.

Perhaps this is how you come across to others.

The way to look at it is, People are not too busy, you are just not a priority.

Anyone who isn't willing to make your friendship a priority, doesn't deserve it.

@Takethewinefromtheswine

I get you feel you may not have much news and can't be arsed with chit chat, but don't you wonder how your friends are?

I always wonder how my close mates are and check in once a week or fortnight if I don't hear from them in the meantime.

Friends who I care about but who live further afield so are less on my radar, I try and contact every few months.

I feel if it becomes less frequent than that, are you actually still friends?

Some people initiate more. It’s in their nature. And some don’t. I’m more of a home body. Don’t make plans much to meet w friends. Rather stay home with family. I go through phases where I don’t want to be social. And then suddenly feel bad like I should make an effort. It’s healthy to have friends and see them. So then push myself to make an effort. Usually it’s others making an effort to meet up. But lately I have been making an effort (before the lockdown hit).

Ignoring the newuser troll, thanks for the replies, it's helped me to see both sides, but still think that people who care won't go months without messaging, and I just hahe different expectations I guess.

Yep. I can so relate. I’m divorcing (amicable divorce luckily) and feel very lonely sometimes. My life is turning upside down and noone is there.
But i’ve taken it as a time to re-evaluate everything. And hopefully the vacuum will be filled with better people in my life.

I’ve had numerous ‘we must meet up soon’ when i then go to suggest date and time and get nothing back. It’s depressing, luckily i’m an introvert and like my own company..