Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cutting down spending this Christmas

55 replies

sneakysnoopysniper · 16/11/2020 16:03

I have not observed Christmas since the 1970s - I dont buy gifts, send cards or put up decorations. Over the years some friends and members of my family have become more and more anxious about what this holiday costs, and have said that they wished they had the "courage" to cut down significantly this year. Its fair to say that they were expressing these thoughts before CV-19 came along. However the financial pressures this year seem a good excuse to set a precedent.

I have suggested some or all of he following economies for a start:-

Re-use last years decorations

Only send cards to those you will not be seeing over the holiday

Only buy gifts for children and agree on a financial limit. Say only one "big" present and a couple of token gifts for the tree

Only buy for immediate family (forget all the cousins, nephews and nieces)

No gifts for co-workers or agree on small token gifts

Cut down on the food and booze - we will probably only be allowed small gatherings

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/11/2020 16:09

Re-use last years decorations

Do you buy new every year?

Heatherjayne1972 · 16/11/2020 16:12

Yeah. I get people to bring a food contribution
And we do a family secret Santa for the adults and a little something for the kids

We’ve all got far too much ‘stuff’

Original poster
sneakysnoopysniper · 16/11/2020 16:14

Decorations - some of them buy new stuff for the tree each year. Even though there is nothing wrong with last years stuff. This seems like a waste to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
sneakysnoopysniper · 16/11/2020 16:16

I think kids get far too much in the way of tacky toys which just get broken. Maybe encourage adults to give gift tokens or money in bank instead. Then it can be saved for a significant purchase later in the year.

Food or drink contributions to family gatherings is a great idea.

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 16/11/2020 16:17

I’m not sure about not buying for nieces and nephews. I’d count those as immediate family (especially if they’re young). I’m only buying small presents that are useful/fun rather than tat. No selection boxes this year.

bridgetreilly · 16/11/2020 16:20

Re-use last years decorations

I assumed everyone did this. Unless some have broken or whatever. They last forever, that's how they become special.

I'm going to suggest another economy: don't send cards at all. They are so pointless these days.

PatchworkElmer · 16/11/2020 16:22

I’ve cut right back on buying for children of friends this year. Huge relief! I’m only doing cards for immediate family BUT will make a charitable donation instead of this.

FourTeaFallOut · 16/11/2020 16:23

I don't think any of your advice is bad - they are all fairly standard tips on reducing the cost of Christmas (although I don't know anyone who buys a whole new set of decorations each year) but I'm not sure it will help them to muster the 'courage' to do these things.

It's much more than knowing how to reduce the costs, this is simple but it is harder to summon the social skills to negotiate a new culture of gift giving within a family that has become a tradition and part of the way we acknowledge the strength of our relationships. That's a different kettle of fish, I suppose.

That's one of the reasons why I think that money saving expert bloke really helped last year, his appeal to stop the Christmas escalation became an easy and gentle way to broach the subject of gift giving with the people in your family and with friends.

I think all these things are meant in a kind and generous manner, it seems very cute to buy your friend's kid a toy when kids are thin on the ground in your twenties until ten years later and you wonder how the hell you created this custom of playing Santa to a hundred kids.

lazylinguist · 16/11/2020 16:32

Surely almost everyone reuses last year's decorations? Sending cards to people you won't see.... surely that will be pretty much everyone, as we're not allowed to see many people? I don't know anyone who buys gifts for co-workers. Choosing not to buy for extended family is tricky unless they've agreed to do the same.

It sounds like you've set yourself up as a bit of an oracle on how to cut down. Everyone knows that buying fewer presents and less food and drink would save money. It's not that they can't think of how to cut down, it's that there is pressure on them not to! It's a bit like saying "Well, eat less" to a friend who wants to lose weight, as if that wouldn't have occurred to them.

Pumperthepumper · 16/11/2020 16:37

I think Christmas is the time where everything should be a tiny bit overindulgent (funds permitting, obviously) for kids and immediate family. So they maybe should get something they didn’t expect or something they wouldn’t usually be allowed. A tiny bit spoiled.

Having said that, I’d get rid of the Christmas jumper days, which follow children in need, which follows Halloween - our schools have been great this year in making it super-casual but it’s remarkably easy to spend loads on that sort of thing if you’ve more than one child. So I’d recommend cutting down on the build-up to Christmas, if people were looking to scale back. The decorations thing is mad, I’ve never heard of new decorations every year.

nosswith · 16/11/2020 16:38

I wouldn't agree about the cards, but the others all make sense. IN our family we have been modest for many years and there are now no school age or younger children, so it's much easier.

Unfortunately with so many events and social occasions being curtailed, Christmas has been hyped up, hence the desperation on the part of everyone to meet and for government to do everything to enable Christmas to happen.

@FourTeaFallOut you have probably hit the nail on the head about social skills/willingness. Too many people are sheep who follow trends and do not want to be different.

Milkshake7489 · 16/11/2020 16:47

There are people who buy all new Christmas decorations every year? That's so odd! Yes, definitely suggest your family members keep their existing decorations to save money...

Christmas cards aren't essential but this tip won't save much money (unless your family/friends are in the habit of choosing extremely expensive cards).

Food and drink costs can always be reduced by shopping carefully, lidl and aldi are great for Christmas bargains (but as you say, most people will be hosting a lot less this year so I don't know that buying less counts as a 'tip').

I wouldn't stop buying for nieces and nephews unless I absolutely couldn't afford it... that feels mean. However shopping wisely and cutting down on gifts are all good ways to reduce cost (and limit tat) but they are hardly revolutionary...

If you haven't celebrated Christmas for years, it seems weird that you're the person to help your family cut back. Perhaps better tips could be found on the Christmas board by asking people who do celebrate Christmas how they cut costs and stay in budget?

FourTeaFallOut · 16/11/2020 16:47

I don't think it's about being a sheep - I think it's about good will, reciprocity and accidental traditions and working out to unravel it all without undermining any of the above.

LondonJax · 16/11/2020 16:54

My family decided, twenty years ago, that they would be buying only for the kids in the family.

So, for the past twenty years, the rule is that as nieces and nephews hit 21years old, that's the final year of Christmas gifts or money. By then they're usually out at work even if they've been to university. So they've got money to buy the things they want - rather than putting those things on a Christmas list. We've never had anything from the nieces and nephews - I'd much rather know they spent their hard earned cash on a nice holiday or knew they weren't in debt.

Last year DH spoke to his family about doing the same - not one person said no.

We've now taken 15 people, including sisters and BILs, now off the list. Even at £20 per person, that's put £300 back in our pockets (and it's a similar sum for our siblings, nieces and nephews). We have a couple of nieces who are still under 21 so we buy for them. And we now have a grand-nephew that we buy for as he's the youngest in the family.

Other than that we use the money on DS, each other and a nice family outing with a slap up meal or some nice treats for Christmas.

We have an artificial tree that is 20 plus years old. It's still looking lovely and I won't throw it out as it's wasteful. Most of our decorations are 15 years plus old. I've actually got some tree baubles that my aunt gave me many years ago. They were hers when she first got married so are almost 70 years old now. They bring back lovely memories of her every year. They don't fit the tree decorations I usually have, they're made of glass so I lose at least one every year and the colour is beginning to fade but I don't care. They're part of my family and they go up every year. Christmas isn't about interior design - it's about memories and family. My teeny glass baubles hold all that in them so they stay.

Littlepiggiesinblankets · 16/11/2020 16:56

I am Shock that people buy new decorations every year! Surely part of the joy is pulling out familiar friends (Mr. Men Christmas banner, I am looking at you). I am with you for most of these things, although I do get cards for close family whether I see them or not.

Peonniesinthefountain · 16/11/2020 17:03

I started this a couple of years ago and not only has it saved me financially the my stress levels greatly reduced too and I’m able to enjoy the festive period now.
I don’t really like using the word tat but it had came down to exchanging tat for tat and the people I suggested stopping gifting to were happy.

I think all these things are meant in a kind and generous manner, it seems very cute to buy your friend's kid a toy when kids are thin on the ground in your twenties until ten years later and you wonder how the hell you created this custom of playing Santa to a hundred kids this actually made me laugh as it’s very true

LondonJax · 16/11/2020 17:03

Oh but one word of caution on the food front. I always have a think, about this time of year, about what we need and what we want for Christmas food. Over the years we've pared down a bit, not gone mad on salad or buffet things as they don't get eaten (for example). I'll have a chat with DH and DS to find out what they would really like to have in the house to eat at Christmas and go from there.

Last year I thought it'd be a good idea to cut back on boxed chocolates. DH and I love a nice bar of chocolate - DS won't touch any chocolate. So I thought, why not just get some nice big bars of our favourite chocolate....

Boxed chocolates are back on the menu this year. A nice bar is lovely at the weekend. But at Christmas it's got to be a dip in a nice box. Just having bars really took the shine off the day! Ridiculous I know but it's the day for having things you don't usually have, but enjoy immensely. So it's a nice big box of chocolates this year!

DappledThings · 16/11/2020 17:13

Most of these are just so obvious I can't believe they need saying.

Re-use last years decorations
Even framing it this way is weird. I don't reuse last year's decorations. They are just the decorations that we own, they aren't last year's or the year before's to be reused any more than the jeans I put on today are reusing last week's jeans.

Only send cards to those you will not be seeing over the holiday
Totally. Until DH and I were together I had no idea people bought cards for the people they were actually seeing over Christmas. Still seems weird to me.

Only buy gifts for children and agree on a financial limit. Say only one "big" present and a couple of token gifts for the tree
This is what we do for DC and what we always had as children. Stockings from Father Christmas and one big present from parents under the tree. None of this piles of presents bollocks.

Only buy for immediate family (forget all the cousins, nephews and nieces)
Nephews and nieces

Funkypolar · 16/11/2020 17:21

DH and I have had enough of mindless consumerism. I wonder how many other people are thinking the same after COVID.

If the government start a “spend out to help out” scheme we certainly won’t be contributing.

VestaTilley · 16/11/2020 17:23

Most of us already do all of those things, OP.

I’m not convinced that most people are as lavish as MN tries to make out.

I don’t know anyone who throws away Christmas decorations in real life- all our friends (and us) use the same treasured ones year after year.

Shoxfordian · 16/11/2020 17:23

Sounds fun Hmm

Onedropbeat · 16/11/2020 17:27

I’ve never been a big spender at Christmas as I’d like to think I’m doing the best for the environment I can and hate waste but I shall still be cutting back this year

I will only be buying for immediate families children
No cousins, aunties etc
Agreed to buy towards the drink abd food for Christmas Day dinner with parents rather than exchange gifts
Reusable wrapping paper
Ported Christmas tree that comes in and out each year
No new decorations
Forage to make the wreath
Make own Christmas candles

Dillo10 · 16/11/2020 17:36

How boring must you be to give out unsolicited advice on how to cut back spending at Christmas, when you don't even celebrate Christmas yourself... Yawn

FourTeaFallOut · 16/11/2020 17:39

Reusable wrapping paper

I haven't got the skills for that, it ends up looking like I threw the gifts in with the laundry.

woodhill · 16/11/2020 17:41

I will still be sending cards as it may cheer up people particularly if you write a bit and personalise it.

I've always tried to be sensible at Christmas and our income bracket has changed this year.

I never buy new decorations unless it is in a sale after Christmas