Cutting down spending this Christmas

[sneakysnoopysniper]

I have not observed Christmas since the 1970s - I dont buy gifts, send cards or put up decorations. Over the years some friends and members of my family have become more and more anxious about what this holiday costs, and have said that they wished they had the "courage" to cut down significantly this year. Its fair to say that they were expressing these thoughts before CV-19 came along. However the financial pressures this year seem a good excuse to set a precedent.

I have suggested some or all of he following economies for a start:-

Re-use last years decorations

Only send cards to those you will not be seeing over the holiday

Only buy gifts for children and agree on a financial limit. Say only one "big" present and a couple of token gifts for the tree

Only buy for immediate family (forget all the cousins, nephews and nieces)

No gifts for co-workers or agree on small token gifts

Cut down on the food and booze - we will probably only be allowed small gatherings

Op I know exactly what you mean when you say about reusing decorations. I have friends and family that change their " theme" every year, it's a disgusting waste of money and so bad for the planet.

I just buy boxed cards not the personalised ones in card factory

I don't think having set rules is a particularly thoughtful way to address this.

I actually don't know a single person who doesn't reuse at least some decorations.

I'm not convinced that the Christmas spirit is shown by not giving childless couples presents but giving your own dc more, particularly if the couple gift your dc.

Again not giving any gifts to your Dn's wouldn't work for me, I like mine and want to give them a small gift.

Regarding cards, I don't give any out because I don't know anyone who particularly wants one but if you know someone who really values one then it isn't a big cost.

Individuals have to make Christmas work both emotionally and financially for them and there isn't one right way.

OP, I think you are right, a lot of people feel stressed about money spent on Christmas every year, but the trouble is there needs to be some agreement among families to make a change.

I do think in most families people reuse decorations, and many people only send cards to those they won't see. Changing the card custom might seem more difficult though depending on who you send to.

Food could also be something to look at though again, I suspect in most families this is one element that everyone really enjoys and is actually useful.

The one area that gets really over the top, IMO, is the gifts. Too many of them for the kids, and spread too widely - work, friends, extended family etc. So yes, I would look at agreeing to cut it down a lot. And it is much easier to do this is the family gets together and agrees.

I get it about cards, they can get on my nerves, but I remember my late mother (years ago now) saying how much it meant to her to get cards from old friends and to catch up with them. Of course she never used social media, but I think many elderly people might still feel the same?

Apart from my sons, close friends and aunt and godmother no one is included.
Aunt and godmother get flowers ( got them ordered end of October 25% off).
One yr my bothers and I got together ( a few of us from 3 countries) so all had bamboo socks , I think £40 total.
Vouchers giving services/ favours can be goood

Regarding reusing decorations, I was shocked to see several artificial christmas trees complete with lights and decorations tossed into skips at the Council tip in early January!

Yes, who does that, very wasteful

I haven't written Christmas cards in years but I'm going to make an exception this year. I want to send cards to all my friends at church who I haven't seen in person since March.

I do want to restrict present buying to just kids but one of my friends (who was a single parent) got married this year. She has always bought a Christmas present for my DH, so I'm going to wait a couple of years before I suggest that we only buy for kids, because otherwise it's a bit tight of me.

Other than the cards thing and the socialising point on the end, I think this is all pretty standard for many people anyway.

The lack of socialising is just another negative impact of Covid and it's not something to celebrate in for many.

Christmas can be as big or small as you make it and does not need to be expensive to be fun.

@sneakysnoopysniper

Decorations - some of them buy new stuff for the tree each year. Even though there is nothing wrong with last years stuff. This seems like a waste to me.

Well that's just plain stupid and I highly doubt this is the only thing they need to rethink properly

Re-use last years decorations

Gosh, some of my decorations are 30yrs old now and the last time I bought any new ones was about 5yrs ago. I do however buy one bauble every yr for each of my two boys, when they leave home and have their own tree they will have at least 21 baubles each to put on them.

We haven't sent cards for years except to mum. We don't buy presents for other families, we stopped doing that when the number of nieces/nephews got to 15.

But I wouldn't dream of telling other people what they should and shouldn't do at Christmas just because we do it that way.

My sister saves (a very small amount of) money by wrapping DD's present in newspaper. DD is very into saving the environment/green issues, and very much appreciates the gesture! I think my sister uses proper wrapping paper for everyone else!
I already do most of the things listed in the OP.. except I don't send any cards at all. I think one area where people could cut down, looking at how other people seem to behave, is cutting down on so called token presents for friends/colleagues/the gym instructor etc etc. At £10 each, these can add up to an awful lot of money very quickly. Easy for me to say as I have never done it, but I think it can be difficult to suggest to others that you stop doing something which has been done for years.

Surely all of this is blindingly obvious I would have thought. If people want to cut costs they would most likely come up with these ideas themselves. Many people might feel completely different about this Christmas though and go all out to celebrate more rather than less than every other year.

@VestaTilley

Most of us already do all of those things, OP.

I’m not convinced that most people are as lavish as MN tries to make out.

I don’t know anyone who throws away Christmas decorations in real life- all our friends (and us) use the same treasured ones year after year.

This. Some of ours are over 20 years old.

All those “tips” are par for the course for us. We’re cutting down on just about everything this year.

Mine are older than me😁 Absolutely adore the vintage buggers.

Can't comprehend anyone changing yearly and then moan it's expensive

@Wishimaywishimight

Surely all of this is blindingly obvious I would have thought. If people want to cut costs they would most likely come up with these ideas themselves. Many people might feel completely different about this Christmas though and go all out to celebrate more rather than less than every other year.

I think what happens is that in extended families, at work, etc, people feel obligated to go along with whatever the convention is.

My husbands work seems to exchange bottles of wine. It's not too bad because we give some and then get some, and I keep a little extra around that time of year in any case. But no one wants to be the person who doesn't give but just gets.

The same in families. If your siblings exchange gifts, or they all get gifts for your kids, it's difficult to be the one who says you aren't going to get gifts for them or their kid.

We tried years ago to encourage less gift giving on my dh's side. My MIL said "oh, I just got you a little stocking, but I had to put it in this bag." The bag was HUGE. There was a ton of stuff in it. After that I just gave up. It only became less once she became less mobile and couldn't shop as easily.

Sometimes everyone in a family wants to give less, but no one wants to bring it up.

"Sometimes everyone in a family wants to give less, but no one wants to bring it up."

We actually had a zoom family conference about this with just the adults. Some of the family are struggling to pay the rent/mortgage and/or esentail bills and feel it is the time to cut down very drastically on what hey spend over all. As some posters has pointed out, being the first to step out of line in a family is difficult (I know that from my own experience). However because of the impact of CV-19 this year there is a real feeling that they want to do things differently. The kids have suffered from the impact of this year in various ways so they dont have to have the situation explaining to them in words of one syllable. However kids can be made to understand.

As kids we were asked back in October what we wanted. One year I asked for a bike and was warned that I would be given nothing else except for a box of chocolates under the tree. I later learned that every adult contributed towards the gift rather than giving me individual presents. That was the only way my parents could have afforded it. So that year I accepted there would be no presents from aunts, uncles and grandparents.

I appreciate that many people will feel the need to make a bit of a celebration. This has been a shit year and they want a splash of colour on the long hard road ahead.

However here is the perfect excuse to do some things differently.

Its interesting you mention the 70s, I was watching a documentry last month of christmas themed parks, festival and events throughout the 20th century and there was a HUGE drop off in these in the mid 60s-70s.

Which is believe to be due too the after effects of world war 2 as the children who grew up during the war when now having children of their own in the 60s/70s and due to the war rationing, factory rediversions to create ammo and big celebrations like parades being on hold so the parents didnt experiance it so then werent passing it on to their own children decades later.

There was a huge statistical drop off in commercialism and celebration event during a decade of so period in the 60/70 era so when people from that era talk about the traditional 'simple' xmas it isnt actually 'traditional' but very specific to their generation which was actually a historical anomalie that stands out drastically in the century as the only non war time era that had a 'lesser' xmas.

Sounds like my Christmas anyway! But then I'm not the sort who will get myself into debt over Christmas or a holiday. The amount some people spend is obscene.

There are people who buy all new Christmas decorations every year? That's so odd! Yes, definitely suggest your family members keep their existing decorations to save money...

This, wtf?! They are mad, why buy new stuff every year? And they complain about the cost? Some people are morons.

Some of the gift giving I see from others is obscene. Piles of plastic tat which people then spend all year complaining they have no room for.

I've always limited what I spent on DC, we have no extended family and I discouraged others buying presents for DC as it really wasn't necessary - arrange a day out or something but not just another cheap toy.

I see a lot on SM of people changing their theme. Or those who literally spend all year saving for Christmas, before the cycle starts again.

My OH has what I can best describe as a slightly puritanical approach to Christmas, he is repulsed by the excess, whether in gift giving, food or alcohol consumption, purchasing of Christmas themed everything, etc. I do agree with him to an extent, the commercialisation and spending is excessive - everything from Christmas Eve boxes to paying for tree decorators. Just crazy.

That's a really interesting post @mam0918 thank you!

Absolutely agree on the present thing. My 2 best friends are lovely and buy my DS presents. Neither of them have children but their friends and siblings do. I think they're mad for adding in another child to buy for on top of 5 or 6 they each have already but maybe I am a Scrooge!

@Grenlei

Some of the gift giving I see from others is obscene. Piles of plastic tat which people then spend all year complaining they have no room for.

I've always limited what I spent on DC, we have no extended family and I discouraged others buying presents for DC as it really wasn't necessary - arrange a day out or something but not just another cheap toy.

I see a lot on SM of people changing their theme. Or those who literally spend all year saving for Christmas, before the cycle starts again.

My OH has what I can best describe as a slightly puritanical approach to Christmas, he is repulsed by the excess, whether in gift giving, food or alcohol consumption, purchasing of Christmas themed everything, etc. I do agree with him to an extent, the commercialisation and spending is excessive - everything from Christmas Eve boxes to paying for tree decorators. Just crazy.

This idea comes up on mumsnet every year no middle ground between madness and misery. Most people dont have tree decorators. Most people don’t have piles and piles of tat. We don’t do Christmas Eve boxes but from what I gather they’re mainly just new pjs and a film. It’s hardly burning £50 notes in front of homeless people.

I said upthread but surely Christmas is the one time of year, especially when your kids are small, that they can have a tiny bit of indulgence? A teeny bit spoiled? Funds permitting, obviously.