To only allow one dc to take packed lunch?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Note - I haven't done this yet, and am not sure if I will, but I'm considering it.

Dc1 is "particular" about foods. I won't say picky as she eats a wide breadth of things, she just has conditions on them. She sees food as fuel.

Dc2 eats 99.99% of all food he has ever tried. He enjoys food and trying new things.

Dc1 is on paid for school dinners, whereas dc2 is still on free school meals due to age.

Dc1 eats at most two of the hot meals available each week (3week rotation), then eats jacket potatoes the rest of the time. Dc2 has maybe one jacket potato a week max.

Rather than pay 3x per week for jacket potatoes, I'm putting dc1 on to packed lunch 2x and then the can have 1x jacket. However dc2 also wants packed lunch on the same days as dc1. Not because he doesn't like the meals but because "taking a packed lunch is fun mammy".

But he gets hot meals for free!

I don't want to be a dragon and insist he always has the hot lunch option, but I also am swapping dc1 because O don't feel it's cost effective to spend £7 per week on jacket potatoes. Doing one packed lunch 2x per week is way cheaper. But doing 2x packed lunches 2x per week probably amounts to the same I'd spend jyst letting her have jackets.

Currently whenever she has a packed lunch, he does too. Wibu to just say no he enjoys the hot meals so he gets them, and when he is in Y4 like sister, he can have packed lunch.

I think if your giving her the choice to take a packed lunch twice a week then he should get the same choice

I do. My son desperately wanted to take in packed lunches but I told him he had to wait until Y3, when it wasn’t free anymore. He started Y3 this time and now takes his lunchbox. My daughter (Y1) has been told she has to wait until Y3, just like her brother did.

I would give them the same choice. Picky isn’t the same as unable to eat the food, IMO.

No, I'm.with you on this. Dc2 gets a free lunch. Make use of it. Does the school not do a packed lunch option?

Dc2 can have years of packed lunches once they're in yr2 (or whenever you have to start paying)

Sorry, you didn’t say picky, but it sounds picky.

Yanbu. When the youngest gets to y3, he gets packed lunch privileges too.

The idea was that dc1 would have the paid for lunches every day from Y3 upwards, then it would only be the year that dc1 is in Y6 and Dc2 is in Y3 that they would overlap so I'd put them both onto packed lunches that year/a mix, to keep costs down.

I worked FT outside the home so very little time to prep lunches etc so was worth paying for.

Now I'm still FT but from home so I have more time / am able to be more flexible with with working hours so knocking up a couple of packed lunches is easy. But I feel that dc2 should make use of the food they enjoy rather than just having sarnies/fruit/yog every day.

As your youngest is getting it for free I’d keep him on school dinners then when he’s old enough he can choose

Money is tight but manageble for us.
Dc1- takes packed lunches as she is a fussy eater and most of the time wastes the canteen food which we pay for.
Dc2- gets free lunches so thats what he has. When he no longer gets lunches he will get the choice of packed lunch or dinner school.
I am happy to budget for both going to dinner school but not if the food is going to go to waste.

YANBU. Dc1 has packed lunch a few times a week in year 3. Dc2 is in reception and asks to have packed lunch too but hers are free so I can't be bothered to start something I'd rather not continue.

It's not unfair, once dc2 is in year 3 she can also have packed lunch if she chooses. Treating children fairly doesn't have to mean they get exactly the same all the time.

I think you have to treat them the same.

I know it’s a pain and financially a drain but it feels on the surface like DC 2 is being penalised for towing the line (eating what he’s given) and DC1 is being rewarded for being ‘particular’ about the food they chose to eat.

I know it’s not that simple given the free school meals element for DC2, but it’s unlikely they’ll be able to see/understand that point.

I say this as someone whose child has a packed lunch, despite being of an age where meals are free.

DC1 only ever had the pasta meal or cheese sandwiches. She's now year 3 and I'm not paying a fortune for cheese sandwiches I can do for buttons. So she takes a packed lunch.
DC2 is not fussy and in year 1 so get the free school lunch and has most of the options. When she gets to year 3 she can choose if she wants a school dinner or packed lunch.
Yes it probably wouldn't cost much more in money or time to give her the same packed lunch but I am taking the saving while I can...

I'd let DC1 have jacket potatoes through the cold weather especially as schools have windows open. A hot meal, even just a jacket spud, will be good for them.
But after its warmed up it's fair for one to have packed lunches and the other have free meals. Just tell them when they're bigger like DC1 they can take a packed lunch.

YANBU. My youngest had free school meals and now Y3 has packed lunches. I just told him when he’s in juniors he can have packed lunches. Dress it up as it’s important for infants to have something hot at lunch time if you like.

Treating them equally is accounting for their ages. If you let him take pack ups now, I would be saying it isn't fair that she had to eat 3 years of meals she didn't like and he gets the option to dib out after 1 year. But I am an oldest child and my little sister got to do everything at a much younger age than I did.

If you told him when he got to year 4 that he wasn't allowed pack ups because he eats his dinners, that wouldn't be fair.

I would let them have the same. I've only one DS and he had hot meals at school during the winter but could them have a packed lunch in the warmer weather.

Tell Dc2 they can have packed lunch when they are the same age as Dc1 is now...i.e when they stop getting free meals. (but don't explain that bit)

Honestly I would keep paying for school meals for both. Your eldest doesnt have a bad diet and at least school meals is giving her an excuse to try new stuff. The minute she goes on packed lunch her limitations and restrictions will narrow again

Surely the younger one getting the lunch free is not relevant? If the older one got it free she wouldn't eat it either.

I think jts really unfait to make any child do one or the other just because you don't want them having a certain thing (which is fine to eat). I also think, unless you are really skint, making children have school dinner when they don't want to, just because they are free is really unfair.
Tbh though, I just couldn't be bothered putting that much thought into who was "allowed" school dinners or packed lunches and when. Kust ask the night before or morning of school "what are you doing for lunch tomorrow/today?".

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion most schools don’t allow you to make daily changes about dinners.

And it’s not ‘really unfair’. The kid likes school dinners he just wants the novelty. Sometimes children don’t get a choice and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. They might perceive it as unfair. But it’s not. Because there’s reasons behind it.

I would explain to DC2 that he can have a packed lunch when he is the same age as DC1. It's fair that he gets the same as DC1 when he is her age.

I would also explain in an age appropriate way why you want him to have school food eg he enjoys them and the government pays for children in infants to have healthy hot lunches at school because it is important that young children have a healthy diet. I would also explain that it costs more money if he doesn't eat the school lunches so if you spend the money on packed lunches just because they are more fun, there is less money for other fun things. Maybe you could put £1 or whatever you can afford in a jar every week to save up for a day out. It's never too early to learn about budgeting.

[quote MustardMitt]@Iminaglasscaseofemotion most schools don’t allow you to make daily changes about dinners.

And it’s not ‘really unfair’. The kid likes school dinners he just wants the novelty. Sometimes children don’t get a choice and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. They might perceive it as unfair. But it’s not. Because there’s reasons behind it.[/quote]
If the reason is the school don't allow you to change (which I've never heard of) then they can be told that. Snce OP didn't say that, its obviously not the case. So im still not sure why they can't have the choice if they are eating fairly healthy, which they are. The only reason seems to be not wanting to spend the money. Lots of reasons why children want to go a certain lunch. Usually because more of their friends go for one or the other, or they don't like the food, or even if they do just enjoy the novelty, I don't see the problem. Of course children don't always get a choice, no reason in this instance though.

Surely the younger one getting the lunch free is not relevant? If the older one got it free she wouldn't eat it either

If the older one was getting free meals I wouldn't care which of the meals she chose. But as it is I'm paying £7.50 A week for her to each jacket potatoes, on top of the £5 for the other two days (roast/fish friday). That's what I object to. The return isn't worth the money spent.