To only allow one dc to take packed lunch?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

Note - I haven't done this yet, and am not sure if I will, but I'm considering it.

Dc1 is "particular" about foods. I won't say picky as she eats a wide breadth of things, she just has conditions on them. She sees food as fuel.

Dc2 eats 99.99% of all food he has ever tried. He enjoys food and trying new things.

Dc1 is on paid for school dinners, whereas dc2 is still on free school meals due to age.

Dc1 eats at most two of the hot meals available each week (3week rotation), then eats jacket potatoes the rest of the time. Dc2 has maybe one jacket potato a week max.

Rather than pay 3x per week for jacket potatoes, I'm putting dc1 on to packed lunch 2x and then the can have 1x jacket. However dc2 also wants packed lunch on the same days as dc1. Not because he doesn't like the meals but because "taking a packed lunch is fun mammy".

But he gets hot meals for free!

I don't want to be a dragon and insist he always has the hot lunch option, but I also am swapping dc1 because O don't feel it's cost effective to spend £7 per week on jacket potatoes. Doing one packed lunch 2x per week is way cheaper. But doing 2x packed lunches 2x per week probably amounts to the same I'd spend jyst letting her have jackets.

Currently whenever she has a packed lunch, he does too. Wibu to just say no he enjoys the hot meals so he gets them, and when he is in Y4 like sister, he can have packed lunch.

I would say it is something that dc2 can do when they are in yr4. I would though also start getting dc1 involved in making their lunch the night before. Obviously not all of it and not unsupervised but dc2 might be less keen when they see there is work involved and it means that by the time dc2 is having packed lunch dc1 should be independently making their own lunch so you only need to ever make one lot of lunch.

I think this is totally fine.

As long as you're OK with definitely letting DC2 have packed lunched once he gets to year 4 then I'd tell him he has to wait until then. No point paying extra just for the novelty of him taking in a packed lunch.

My youngest gets fsm so that's what he has.

I do let him choose one or two days per week to take a packed lunch because there are no hot lunches at the moment (covid reasons!) so he was getting fed up of a ham roll everyday (he won't eat cheese or tuna which is the other options). If hot meals were being served I wouldn't be making him a packed lunch, he'd need to have the free lunch.

My eldest doesn't get fsm so he takes a packed lunch (I can't afford £10pw on school lunches).

@JuliaJohnston

Surely the younger one getting the lunch free is not relevant? If the older one got it free she wouldn't eat it either.

It would be for me, because I wouldn't want the expense of providing a packed lunch for a child who seems to enjoy his school dinners, when they are provided free.

Once I have to pay, if he would rather I pay for sandwiches instead of a school dinner at £2.50, fine! £5 a day for two kids to have school dinners is a lot, anyway. Way more than I would spend on a wholesome packed lunch that would get eaten.

But if she was eating the proper meals, you would happily pay for them? Personally, I think a jacket is more filling than a sandwich, so I would just let her carry on having those, not to mention the extra hassle of making the lunch and "fighting" DC2. It doesn't sound like you absolutely can't afford them, just that you bedrudge paying more than you think they're worth. I'd be surprised if you managed to do a packed lunch for that much less to be honest. I find bread/sandwich fillings/yogurts/fruit add up to way more than I think they should!

I'm surprised your school allows you to chop and change to be honest. At my DC's primary, in the first two weeks of reception the kids are allowed to change from school dinners to packed lunches but after that have to decide on one or the other and stick to it until the half term/ end of term.
I completely understand your reasoning and if your DC on free meals is a good eater then I'd not let them change either.

My KS2 DD takes a packed lunch as she no longer qualifies for FSM.
KS1 DS has school dinners as he still qualifies for infant universal FSM.
I’ve told DS he can have packed lunches when he’s in year 3.

Making two packed lunches won’t cost much more than making one. If you have cooked meats/cheese/tuna open for one sandwich you might as well make two. DC1 surely would use a full pack across 2 packed lunches. To keep the peace I would either keep both on school dinners or allow both to have packed lunch.

You‘ll probably find that the novelty of packed lunch will wear off quickly for your youngest anyway and they’ll want to go back to hot dinners like the majority of their friends!

We have an arrangement of a mix of pack lunch and paid for school dinners for Y4 DD and the others who get it free have school dinners every day. When they get to Y3 they will also get to take a pack lunch some of the time, I don’t think doing things differently for each child is always a bad thing. What works for one may not work for the other.

But as it is I'm paying £7.50 A week for her to each jacket potatoes, on top of the £5 for the other two days (roast/fish friday). That's what I object to. The return isn't worth the money spent.

It won't be just a baked potato though, it will also be a peice of fruit, juice, probably some sort of treat, so £2.50 isn't that much.

I do this. I have one in rec and one in y2 so both eligible for free meals. However y2 is a bit picky and on two days would rather starve than ready the dinner. Rec eats everything. So on those two days y2 takes packed lunch. Rec has asked too because it's fun. I've just explained that packed lunches are a last resort if they don't like the good, which she does and he doesn't. She admits that she does like them.

Treating them fairly doesn’t mean the same. It’s perfectly fine to say “both of you can have packed lunches on certain days one in yr 3.”. In saying that you’re treating them equally and fairly.

I’ve got picky yr 2 Ds on school dinners. I think it’s most likely to be where he learns to eat a wider variety. Plus he quite likes school food, it fits within his pickiness quite often.

I’m hoping to keep him on it in yr3. Dd is in secondary and has always had school dinner bar one or two days across primary.

I let ds have packed lunch in the summer of Covid because it was sandwich type things anyway, and he doesn’t like “mucked about with” sandwiches - my phrase (not used to him, just in my head) and I have sympathy! But it did end up with him having the same few things over and over which is another reason I’m not keen.

Yabu. Its not an age related thing. Either they both get to chose or neither imo

It’s fine. I have two DCs in juniors, one in infants. The infant has school dinners, the juniors are allowed a packed lunch. The infant knows she’ll be allowed to when she is in yr 3. It’s fine to earn different privileges at an older age. Same as the oldest one gets more pocket money, when they younger ones are that age they will too.

I’d insist he has the hot meals the school provides, while they’re still free. I find it very odd when people decline the free meals (unless child has allergies or special dietary needs) as I think it helps them get used to eating a wide range of foods, trying new foods with their peers. And a hot lunch is warming especially in winter.
Tell him having pack lunches is a privilege he can have when he’s older? He shouldn’t be allowed to copy his older sister just for the sake of copying.

In DD’s case I’d only let her have hot lunches on the days when she likes the menu, packed lunches the rest of the week.

Don’t get people saying they all have to be equal. You treat them in a way that suits their age, you don’t treat all DCs the same no matter what age they are. When they’re older they get to go out alone, but you wouldn’t say as soon as they’re allowed to the younger ones have to as well. If DC2 were refused a packed lunch once they reach that age, then that would be unfair to them.

YANBU, free school lunch is cheaper than packed lunch and packed lunch is cheaper than paid for school lunch. Therefore DC2 stays on free lunch until year 3 and I'd just let DC1 take packed lunch every day. I'm assuming DC1 had to have free lunch when it was free?

I agree with @GrumpyHoonMain. It would be worth it to me to keep the older one on school dinners because that keeps the door open for her to choose other things and not always jackets. It doesn't sound like your finances are that close to the bone - if they are, that's different.

My two were a year a part so one was still free meals and one paid. The older one took packed lunches and the younger one got school dinner.

I wouldn't be giving choices. Can the lunch box be put in the bag without the younger one seeing?

Packed lunch after free school dinners ends.

Id say to dc 2 once he reaches the year where you have to pay then he can have packed lunch.

@MustardMitt

YANBU. My youngest had free school meals and now Y3 has packed lunches. I just told him when he’s in juniors he can have packed lunches. Dress it up as it’s important for infants to have something hot at lunch time if you like.

I agree with this, I'd also link it to juniors in this way. Why waste money?

I have three at school who qualify for free meals but I don't force them to have it. Eldest has a packed lunch every day and younger two pick and choose depending on the school menu. If I were you I'd let youngest have a packed lunch when he wanted one.

I don't think it is at all unreasonable to insist DS has school lunches whilst they are free, and whilst he enjoys them. I would have no trouble telling him that he could take packed lunch from Year 3, if he still wanted to.