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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What would you think of this?

29 replies

Anxiousannie35 · 15/11/2020 20:53

Quick one for judgement call.

My ex and father of my ds9 has a job working for a takeaway business. Ds has told me that he goes out with his dad sometimes delivering takeaways. I asked what he does while dad goes into collect the food and deliver it to peoples doors. He said he stays in the car. I'm not happy about this especially at night. But ds says he's fine with it, dad can usually see him and the car door is always locked. He's a sensible lad and knows not to talk to anyone or open the door.

Aibu to feel uncomfortable about this? My ex has form for being a bit of a dick and I doubt he would acknowledge my concerns - if he deems it to be safe it must be. Aibu - it's fine for a child of his age to be alone for a minute in a locked car? Or not?

OP posts:
Kartoffelbrei · 15/11/2020 20:55

I think it's completely fine. Only concern would be how late in the evening this is, assuming it's on a school night.

Nicknacky · 15/11/2020 20:57

I wouldn’t be bothered at all unless it was late and was a school night, then I would be concerned.

user1493413286 · 15/11/2020 20:57

I think it’s fine for a 9 year old to be in a locked car for a minute or two. It just doesn’t sound like a great night for a child; if it’s a couple of deliveries then fine but surely he’s employed for a shift so it’s not the best night for a child to have.

pinkstripeycat · 15/11/2020 20:59

It’s ok

Anxiousannie35 · 15/11/2020 20:59

It's usually on a weekend when he stays over and I don't think they are out particularly late but I just don't like the thought of him alone in a car at night. I'm presuming his dad usually isn't too far away or very long but even so.

I see a lot of threads here where posters balk at the thought of a child left alone in a supermarket car park so I didn't know it I was BU to find this a bit off.

OP posts:
gigi556 · 15/11/2020 21:00

He's 9.... this is totally fine!

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 15/11/2020 21:00

I'd be fine with it.

Unless it was in a particularly nasty area.

Anxiousannie35 · 15/11/2020 21:01

I think it maybe is just a few deliveries rather than a full shift - more of an as and when type of thing iyswim.

OP posts:
DanielRicciardosSmile · 15/11/2020 21:03

I think there's a difference between being left in a car within sight of a parent for 2 minutes, and being left in a car in a supermarket car park for 20 minutes.

Thehop · 15/11/2020 21:03

It’s not okay, but i don’t think you can stop him?

Is it school nights?

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 15/11/2020 21:04

They probably chat more than they would indoors. It could be a fond memory for your son one day

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2020 21:04

It's absolutely fine

Brunt0n · 15/11/2020 21:04

A supermarket car park isn’t the same at all. You can’t see the child in the car in a supermarket car park. I think good on him for doing what it takes to support himself financially at a difficult time!

Leaannb · 15/11/2020 21:05

There is a huge difference in being left in a car at a residence and one in the Supermarket. The father is being safe, the child is not upset about it and they are making memories

Nicknacky · 15/11/2020 21:05

I would have loved this as a kid.

And I talk more to my kids when we are in the car as they have no where to escape to!

Waveysnail · 15/11/2020 21:06

If its anything like local drivers here - they park right outside takeaway door and literally run in and back out. If your ds doesnt mind then I think its absolutely fine.

thenightsky · 15/11/2020 21:08

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

They probably chat more than they would indoors. It could be a fond memory for your son one day
This.
gamerchick · 15/11/2020 21:09

I would have loved this as a young un. He's 9, he's not a littlie. He'll have nice memories of this time with his dad.

eaglejulesk · 15/11/2020 21:34

I think it's fine, and agree with pps that it is making nice memories for your son.

Laiste · 15/11/2020 21:45

Making Memories?

Stuck in a car all evening while your dad drives backwards and forwards from a takeaway place?

Royalbloo · 15/11/2020 21:47

It's a crap way to spend time with your child but he will work that out for himself

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/11/2020 21:50

It's probably not even a minute. They just drop it and go. And unless he is delivering into flats (usually I had to go down for it anyway) then he always sees the car

Leaannb · 15/11/2020 21:58

@Laiste

Making Memories?

Stuck in a car all evening while your dad drives backwards and forwards from a takeaway place?

Absolutely. Some of my fondest memories with my parents and my children with me is those conversations in the car. Wonderful memories
Leaannb · 15/11/2020 21:59

@Royalbloo

It's a crap way to spend time with your child but he will work that out for himself
No its not. Its great memories. Singing along in the car together and the opportunity for very special conversations is golden. Absolutely golden
RelightMyPfizer · 15/11/2020 22:00

Our Hermes driver send his children to the door at the weekends (works 7 days a week-self employed) and during lockdown loads of the drivers had children with them.

Its the Gig economy- dont work- dont get paid and someone else gets your round
Work and you get paid often less than minimum wage

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