To be devastated

[FabulousCandelabra]

My child's friend's mum has passed away and I just feel so devastated for the family. We didn't have much time to become close friends but she was one of the bubbliest and lovliest people I have met in my life. My heart goes out to her young children, husband and her family. WIBU to send meals/toys for kids/anything else? I am trying to think of ways I could help but not sure if this is appropriate? any advice? thanks x

Re bringing food around

Find if close friend

But quite honestly... someone deliver a home made lasagne or similar from an acquaintance... I would guiltily bin as no idea about whir standards, quality of meat, how careful they were with food prep etc etc

Fine

I would send a card with an anecdote. As you don't know the family well you don't know if they'd welcome practical help or if they would see it as an intrusion, it's not what everybody would welcome - I know I wouldn't want it.

How very kind you are OP.
You must be shocked and so saddened. I am sorry.
Echoing other posters the best time to provide some lovely home cooked food is probably a few weeks down the line, speaking from experience, once people recede.
Also Cook vouchers I’m sure would be gratefully received.
Personally less a fan of flowers at this point. I love flowers but for a long time they were synonymous with devastation and grief we received so many. And you never have enough sodding vases.
Practical items and thoughtful actions perhaps the best way to go ...

Do what you feel you want to, there are no rules when someone dies as long as the intention comes across as well meant.
Not the same at all I know, but when I had my first baby, a few days after birth, a neighbour a few doors away who I didn't know sent flowers. Never even spoke to her before. I never forgot that and thought it was so lovely and they meant more than even friends flowers and gifts.

Please ignore the advice to do what you want to do.

With the best will in the world, this isn't about you, although I get the need for you to feel as though you are doing something constructive and tangible to help.

A card for now, and an offer of a playdate in a couple of months is fine.

This lady was an aquaintence, it would be unfair of you to insert yourself into their grief with big gestures and them feeling like they have to thank you for it.

After my berievment I had hundreds of cards but I only kept the ones who wrote something personal and anecdotes were really appreciated as they were memories that I had not been privy to.
Healthy meals ( as lots of junk was eaten and drink )
Also offer to take the kids out for uplifting days out and give dad time to himself

Ask the other school gate parents if there is a food rota. If there is someone coordinating help, offer your help through them.

Text the widower, say who you are, say no need to reply.

If your child had regular play dates with their child, ask if they can come over when it feels like a good moment.

@ChateauMargaux

Ask the other school gate parents if there is a food rota. If there is someone coordinating help, offer your help through them.

Text the widower, say who you are, say no need to reply.

If your child had regular play dates with their child, ask if they can come over when it feels like a good moment.

OP isn't at the school gate, she moved her child to a different school after lockdown.

Difficult
Please ignore the advice to do what you want to do

With the best will in the world, this isn't about you, although I get the need for you to feel as though you are doing something constructive and tangible to help

Please do not ignore advice and do what you want to do OP.

I agree, it isn’t about you.
Find out what the situation is before you turn up on their doorstep with a Shepherd’s pie.