Tell me your husband is also on the call, grrr

[Westside1]

This has happened me twice in last few days and it really annoys me. I rang a friend of mine and we are chatting away and next thing her husband answers my question or joins in conversation.... ffs is it not really rude to mention that I’m on speaker and husband is in room.

Happened to me too with a particular friend, always hated it. YANBU

No, that’s quite rude. I would not be happy with that. Etiquette dictates that you always announce who is on the call, even if it’s a personal call.

The one that really bugs me is when people have phone conversations in the next stall in the toilets. I don’t want people’s partners or husbands hearing me pee!

It’s so rude - when you phone someone you expect you’re having a private conversation.
They should definitely tell you that you’re on speaker and someone else is in the room.

I'm guilty of putting everyone on loud speaker as I wear hearing aids and can't hear otherwise. I hadn't thought to tell the other person but then again, no one in my house would dare to chip in - that's rude.

YANBU it's very rude of your friend op

@NiceandCalm its not just about them chipping in, its about being heard by more than just the person you're on the phone to. It can change the things you say drastically if other people can hear you

Omg this would really annoy me!

A phone conversation should be private - even if you are not speaking about anything sensitive there are just some things you would only feel comfortable speaking about in front of your friend.

If this happened, my ‘friend’ would find that we only chatted in person from that point on.

I’m very particular about who hears/knows my innermost thoughts. Not saying they are so special or interesting, but I need to trust my listener. Also, my sense of humour is fairly dark at times, anyone walking past would think me quite disturbed (but my friends don’t).

So rude of them. You could say something really private without knowing you had an audience.

Thanks for all the replies, I haven’t actually rang that person since!

Oh I wouldn't like that, thankfully it's never happened though.............that I know of anyway

If I answer a call in the car (the only time I would use loud speaker with anyone around), I always say as soon as I answer the call that they are on the speaker and who else is in the car with me. I usually make a joke by saying something like ' your on loud speaker please do not swear' in the big brother voice or something.

My grandad's carer did this once, when she was in the room with my grandad and on the phone to my mum, who was telling the carer that she would have to just be firm with grandad "because he could be a grumpy old git" and was "often difficult to deal with" 🙈😂 Grandad's hearing of course suddenly became very sharp and he heard every word.....

So many people do this nowadays. Nothing is private, everything is bloody shared/made public.
It's SO rude.

I also hate people taking/making calls whilst driving. Pulling up next to someone at traffic lights you can hear every word. Yes I know it's legal but I think it's dangerous aswell.

When I was in hospital last year the amount of people who spoke to family on bloody FaceTime was unreal. So not only did they broadcast that person’s conversation to the entire ward, but they were on camera and that person could see throughout the ward where people were very sick in some instances.

One bloke was in the bed opposite me and when he was discharged I had been moved down to the next ward, and he came through, on FaceTime to god-knows-who talking about the man in the bed opposite practically shouting “well, it was the bloke opposite. Yeah well he died didn’t he!”

@Westside1

I hate this kind of thing too. Other people joining in when you're trying to talk to someone privately...

Sounds to me like this woman's husband is a bit controlling to me. Listening to, and butting into his wife's conversations, giving her no privacy, and intruding on her calls like this is highly alarming.

Also, what pisses me off, is this one friend I have (who is generally OK,) always, always, ALWAYS gets a phone call when we're having a coffee in costa or starbucks. EVERY bloody time!

It's her daughter, her mother, her husband, her supervisor, her neighbour, her nan, her son. I see her once every 6 weeks or so for a coffee (that's all, just 8 times a year for 2 hours,) and they see her every damn day, yet one of them always rings her when we are having a coffee.

And she bloody answers.

She is a decent mate, and we go back 25 years, but it's actually putting me off meeting her. It kind of smacks of 'look how popular I am...' Mine never rings because the damn thing is switched off - or on silent - when I am meeting someone.

@AlternativePerspective that is disgraceful. NOBODY should be allowed to 'facetime' on a bloody hospital ward FGS.

One of my supreme pet hates, is when I arrange to meet someone for a coffee or a meal or to go to the cinema or whatever, and they bring someone else. Because 'the more the merrier...' No, the more the NOT fucking merrier. I don't want some randomer who I don't know, (or care to spend time with,) tagging along... You know them, and I don't. And I was not told about them coming. So fuck off.

Oh and people who stride along shouting into their phones on loud speaker, with the other person shouting too because they've both got the conversation on loudspeaker is just so crass too.

My sister used to do this when I phoned her. It meant anyone in her house could hear our conversation including awful BIL (now ex thank god). I always rang off quite abruptly hoping she'd understand why but she never seemed to see why I might not like it

I had images in my head of woman on the landline on one phone and husband was listening in on another phone. Completely forgot about mobile phones and loud speaker! YANBU. I'm often in the room or car when other half is on the phone, I only chirp up or listen in when DP has said caller is on loud speaker

@Bluesheep8

I also hate people taking/making calls whilst driving. Pulling up next to someone at traffic lights you can hear every word. Yes I know it's legal but I think it's dangerous aswell.

Even if they're on Bluetooth? It's surely no different to chatting to someone else who's sat in the car?!

I think it is terrible etiquette not to say oh Bob is here too by the way so that even if Bob didn't speak, you know he can bloody here you talking!

I always think people look a bit unhinged if they're walking down the road talking, but there's no obvious sign of a phone.

My sister does this. Drives me mad.

@LisaLee333 I totally agree with you about people bringing other random people along. A few years ago, a small group of us (school mums) were going out for a christmas lunch, we had our kids with us ranging from a few months to 3.5, and the restaurant had a little soft play area for the kids. There were 4 of us supposed to be going, we all knew each other pretty well. One of them turned up with her adult daughter, who none of us knew, and said "I brought my little girl seeing as you were all bringing yours!" Ours were all little though, hers was 24 🙈 It was the most uncomfortable lunch! It would have been different if we'd even met the daughter before but none of us had.