Mental health crisis team unhelpful comments

[Fedupwiththis70]

Ds 24 took an overdose this week. He’s had mental health issues since he was 16. Very limited treatment a few therapy sessions at 16/17 nothing since other than medication. The crisis team called and did their follow up. He was told by her you’re 24 now where’s all this got you and this is teenager stuff. Now surely under adult mental health he can’t be the oldest person that suffers from self harming behaviours. They have made him feel hopeless and helpless. Aibu to think at his age he’s still got time to get better and live a decent life. I don’t know if I’m just in denial because he’s my child but I still have hope he will get better. Has anyone else experienced the crisis team being insensitive?

Goodness,how heartless in the moment of crisis and totally unprofessional.
Of course,as mothers we always hope our children will be happier and healthier.This is terrible,totally substandard treatment and if you have contact to the Crisis Team I would call and complain to the manager as your son really needs appropriate support right now!
Thinking of you and sending a virtual hug.

They were vile to me last week. Would have complained but didn’t feel up to it

So your son was effectively told to pull himself together. He has been invalidated, ignored, undermined and demeaned all in one go by, of all people, a mental health professional. She thinks we all arrive at age 20 and life's issues magically resolve? You are not in denial, you are seeing things as they really are. This is why I refuse to work in the NHS because it is all about targets and box ticking and narrow approaches when there are SO MANY ways of helping people; nobody belongs in a box. Please be assured that it is a matter of your son connecting with the right person, someone who can really 'see' him and 'listen' to him at depth (this is very different to being a good listener) and things can turn around quicker than you think. Try not to lose hope; the right person is out there somewhere.

Ah yes, sounds familiar. A crisis team doctor once looked at my notes and said, with a smirk "you didn't think that dose would kill you, did you?"
Some mental health team workers are absolute sadists. I'm sorry your son has encountered this.

They're useless. I was told by someone manning the crisis line to sort myself out and have a shower and someone would contact me in a few days to see if I was any better. I'd just told them I was thinking of going to the train station and killing myself.

The fuck??

A guy from the crisis team came round to mine once when I was having a massive breakdown and barely looking after myself, looked round my filthy unkempt flat and said, "I see you’ve tidied up for me."

I was with the MH team for a while but nothing has stuck with me like that did. I think he was trying to be funny, but seriously?

Not a crisis team but other medical professionals. Including a gp who looked at his computer screen where my notes were and went 'I don't know why you can't just put all your trauma behind you and be happy.'

You get idiots in all walks of life.

Yes there is hope, OP. Lots of it, I think,. I do think people have to want to get better and make changes and I think often you have to pay for proper help but there is so much that can be done about poor mental health. Even if you can't afford private help, there is hope.

I am so very sorry to hear this. The comments by the worker indicate a complete inability to understand what depression and other mental disorders are about.

I have suffered with depression - you feel so very ill that you cannot see any way that life can continue. A mental health professional should know and understand this. The concept of "self-harming behaviours" implies that this is a behavioural problem rather than a manifestation of a serious mental health illness requiring proper help.

Crisis teams are in general a joke. A young relative of mine was refused help from the team, when he was in a crisis, and told that he had to have a formal referral first and be in their books before they would help. So.....first plan your crisis.

Our local health authority offers drugs or CBT and nothing else at all.

UK mental health services are in crisis and need a team of their own to sort it all out.

Do you have any health insurance that might cover your son, or some other means of going private?

This is an awful comment. As a PP has said they’ve basically told him to just get it together, which isn’t quite how mental health services let alone the CRISIS team is supposed to work. I would definitely put in a complaint this is at best unhelpful and disrespectful, and at worst very dangerous and could lead someone without support to think they are beyond hope if they cannot sort themselves out. Putting in an official, strong and well worded letter of concern to a senior manager also sends a good message to your son that in this situation the professional did not do their job properly and requires follow up. It is no reflection on him. Sending lots of positive wishes. Of course he can improve and life can be better xx

I would understand it if he was 24 and not taking responsibility for himself but he does. He mangers his money is polite to them takes his medication. He does feel like it’s hopeless and feels he doesn’t deserve help as he’s a long term case and just a waste of time.

I have never found Crisis team useful. Quite patronising often. And no your son is not the oldest to self harm by a long shot. Does he have a diagnosis? I would really push for some suitable therapy for him. He is lucky to have you.

I think it's compassion fatigue from the job which is essentially to try to support people in mental health crisis but without using any actual referrals or resources and while mentally and practically holding the risk for all the people you have seen. Not OK at all though .

This is awful, really sorry to hear about what they said to your son. I used to work in the NHS in mental health services & have had interactions with the crisis team. I found some of their comments very harsh & unprofessional at times. Some were very unsympathetic. I know from my own experience of depression that people can say really clumsy things but you’d expect more from professionals!

Not rtft but yes. My dsis had a mental health crisis during lockdown. She was terrified about going to ask for help because she didn't want them to bring in social services. I told her that wasn't likely. My dad had to take her and my mum looked after her 8 and 9 year old dds. It was 7pm and her 15 and 2 weeks off 18 year old waited at home. They were less concerned about her mental health and absolutely bollocked her for leaving a 15 and almost 18 year old at home alone at 7pm. My dad nearly lost it with them it was very very strange

I think it's probably job fatigue too. At the beginning, they might have been compassionate.
When you think about it, we are actually asking a lot for a stranger to help us guard and nurture our own MH. With broken bones and cancer the problem is at least tangible with expected scientific outcomes.
Friends and family struggle to help "fix" and support loved ones with MH issues and they know them well and have their best interests at heart. Sometimes I think we put too much hope and place to much responsibility on a stranger with a college diploma.

Crisis teams have a bad rep. Known for telling people to make a cuppa or have a bath.
I wouldn't want their job, but when you are told to contact them, you naturally would like some respectful and empathetic people.
I had a man come to my home a couple of weeks ago about my PND and suicidal thoughts. He said there was nothing more they can offer me and I look well and have insight and doing all the right things (medication). I said to him it doesn't matter what you look like, Caroline flack looked ok on the whole but ended her life and taking medication is one thing, but it hasn't stopped me wanting to end my life.
Even my MH nurse was unimpressed and said it's left me more at risk.
However, I do understand it is a job to them and it is a lot for a stranger to feel they are holding someone's life (no wage is worth that) and when you see similar situations day in day out, you may become a bit desensitised to it and believe that many people are suicidal, but few act on it.
Just my thoughts anyway.
Your son has you so he is lucky in that respect, so perhaps they see you as caring for him. Has he got a diagnosis?

@DianaT1969

I’m sorry but I can’t agree with that. They chose the job, they are being paid to do it. It’s like saying you can’t expect a neurosurgeon to do brain surgery as it’s really hard and complicated. No that is quite literally what they are being paid to do. If they can’t do it and don’t like it then they should get another job.

@cinammonbuns
Totally agree. If you choose a job you should do it to the best of your ability. Desensitisation is a terrible excuse, these people hold lives in their hands ffs

I told them I didn’t want to live anymore snd got told to take a bubble bath and when they discharged me got told they weren’t a babysitting service

Please complain

@calamityjam absolutely. I won’t deny that the wage and benefits of the jobs in mental health probably does not match the work and effort it is to work in it. And I would be all for more funding into mh so they have more training and do not get desensistised.

But mh is not a job you stumble into, you have to actively choose to want to work there. It’s not right for people who do not have empathy or sensitivity to work in it because it could easily contribute to someone taking their life.

I watched a program the other day showing that ambulance attendances for overdoses over lockdown had rocketed.

I hope your son is ok. And they way they spoke to him was unacceptable.

So sorry to hear this, my DD's team were good and thankfully she's got access to the university counselling service (nhs has a 6 month wait once her emergency team finished). They need to sort out mental health services, how many are dying because of situations like op's???

@cinammonbuns - I hear you, but what tools do they really have in their arsenal? In an ideal world they'd have an appropriate therapist on speed dial to provide immediate sessions. They'd achieve fast reviews of medications and be able to offer in-patient services. Hypothetically, if you had the qualification and you were a MH crisis worker tomorrow, what would you have to offer someone in despair? Would you wake up with the same enthusiasm and passion for your job in 15 years time?
I think it would be good to know what countries with a better MH service and track record has. Scandinavian countries perhaps? Perhaps someone in the sector knows?

Agree @DianaT1969. Compassion fatigue is real in many jobs areas, especially MH. Have close friends and relatives who work in MH and they become exhausted. And it's not just as simple as saying change profession . Plus you have to consider they see people who are genuinely in a crisis and those who 'play the system' for want of a better term, which doesn't help.

That is not me saying your son was doing so OP. He sounds in a very tough place and he didn't deserve to have those words said to him. I hope he gets the help and support he needs.

Diana I'd have expected your list of ideal world responses to be the case. I have no experience of MH crisis services but that's what I had thought they were there for. I'm so very shocked that not only that doesn't appear the case, individual workers are dishing out such callous....advice? Judgements. Some people are in the wrong profession and should retrain before they end up with blood on their hands. There really is no excuse for what I've read here.
for everyone. I can't imagine being at the end of the road or feeling like you are and having to listen to such bollocks.