To not understand people who get their value and identity from their sports team

[CitizenClem]

I have an extended family member whose live appears to be dominated by their sports (football) team. To the extent that their identity is completely wrapped up in the fact that they support this team.

I essentially wonder what it is they are getting out of it.

I’m not talking about simply being a football fan, but something that is almost akin to being a devoutly religious follower.

I don’t get it but I’m interested. Aibu?

If i am u, what do people gain from this?

It’s a sign of a yawning void within.

It is a feeling of community, of being connected. It is sharing a history and experiences. It is lots of positive things - many of which you could also get from a religion so perhaps you are right to draw a parallel.

I font get it from religion or sport but, imo, the sports connection looks a lot more fun
Outings, drinking, banter, highs and lows. Better than standing around in a draughty church

It’s a sense of belonging, community and it’s their passion.

It’s not my thing but I don’t think it’s at all difficult to understand.

They just love it. That’s what they get from it: joy at being involved with something they love.

It falls within social identity theory and is quite a normal process: probably an adaptation of former ties people used to have (and still do in some parts of the world), such as tribalism, or extended kinship. It’s not something I personally engage in, but I wouldn’t sneer at it either. People derive meaning from their lives in different ways, and if they want to do so through having a collective group identity, that’s their prerogative. It’s certainly healthier than some other forms of in-group / out-group formation, where groupthink can be more dangerous. eg extreme political parties.

I live in Glasgow OP and it’s just a sign of what religion you are (catholic or Protestant) and it’s truly truly boring.

I started going to the football with my Dad. As season ticket holders, you're sat with the same people every week and you build a real sense of community/family. In my late twenties, I would be a bit bereft if a match was postponed. Football is a place of escape and really good fun when it's going well.

A shared interest holds many friendship groups together and football is no different. I just think some people can be sniffy about football because it's sometimes seen as a white working class sport (not aimed at you OP).

Add online chat/Twitter into the mix and following a team can be all consuming. I am very tribal about my team and it definitely forms part of my identity But like any hobby, it's not great if it takes over your life to the detriment of other things.

I know someone who turned down the chance of a relationship with Someone they really liked and really connected with simply because they supported a different football team. She actually said "oh it couldn't work my family would never accept him".

I felt so sad for her as it was simply so ridiculous.

It is more than the 90 minutes on the park. It's the people you meet, the friendships you make, the experiences you share. Absolutely a sense of community and belonging. It creates passion, which is a wonderful thing to have I think. For me, I have followed my football club and my national team to many overseas games so have visited countries and cities I may not have ordinarily visited.

As one pp has suggested, I am not trying to fill a void. I have a good career, a family and other interests but I would not give up my football club. It is in my heart

@howtobe

I live in Glasgow OP and it’s just a sign of what religion you are (catholic or Protestant) and it’s truly truly boring.

Get yourself to Partick Thistle - they take the piss out of the religious convictions of their bigger neighbours.

Hello, hello, how do you do?
We hate the cunts in Royal blue
We hate the cunts in emerald green
So fuck the pope and fuck the Queen.

It's great, just the sense of been with friends who you meet at games, cheering the boys on and having a few pints!

I am getting married next year and a very big game clashes with my wedding, We obviously don't know know if fans can go anyway due to covid but I've had to promise half my guests that the football will be on while we have our sit down meal!

I think it’s the extreme tribalism that I feel uncomfortable with, and how it extends beyond Saturday. It seems so all encompassing (at least with the person I know).

The other thing I find funny about the person I know, and I don’t know how common this is, is that they’ve almost never been to a game (maybe 5 times in 50 years). It’s all Sky Sports and social media

It's just a form of tribalism and a sign that there is something missing in their psyche that they need to fill with worship of a sports team. Same reason some people go in for religion in a serious way, especially late converts rather than people who have been brainwashed from childhood!

@merrygoround51

It’s a sense of belonging, community and it’s their passion.

It’s not my thing but I don’t think it’s at all difficult to understand.

This ^

Whilst I'm not a football fan, mine and my extended family are heavily involved in a Motorsport. We meet with the same groups of people around the country week in week out from Feb - Nov. They are like family, they share our highs and lows and join our celebrations and sympathise with our losses.

I can't imagine not being part of that community, much in the same way I imagine people of faith feel about their places of worship. Our place of worship is the racetrack, for others it's the football field, the basketball court etc.

It always makes me think of herd animals, like cattle and sheep, which panic if they're alone.

From a sociological perspective I can recognize that the need for belonging is strong in people and for some, football can play that role.

I do wonder if that, like the big 5 traits in psychology, I wonder if some people have a greater need for it, and if it wasn’t football, it would be religion or politics. I don’t feel I have that deep need.

@GrandUnion

It’s a sign of a yawning void within.

Spot on

I do wonder how people who are used to going to the ground every week and seeing their team play, the people they are used to see etc are coping with not having that at the moment.

I'm with you. I get the feeling of community/friendship etc but I don't get people who are so fanatical about it...like the ones that will physically fight over it or sob if their team loses and be in a bad mood for days afterwards, including taking it out on their families. At the end of the day football is just entertainment, not a matter of life and death.

You’ve answered your own question. They get a sense of identity and belonging which is one of the most basic human needs. It gives them a hobby, a social life, something to bond with other people over.

I agree with you though that the tribalism can get too extreme for some, but those people have that trait inside them and would be like it over any hobby.

Each to their own!

They get a sense of belonging and community and common purpose that is lacking elsewhere in their life.

Community, camaraderie, companionship.

If you are passionate about anything else OP you should be able to understand but if you don’t feel particularly passionate about things, you won’t get it.

My psyche is fine, and I have no void. I just love supporting my team! I've done so for over 40 years. DH and DS Dd support a different team and have season tickets. There's no point in trying to explain the love to someone who doesn't get it.