To be nearly in tears at thought of dentist.

[PurpleThistles84]

I’ve been in severe pain for nearly two weeks now, can’t eat much, not sleeping great and knocking back painkillers like they are sweets. I have a hole in two of my three wisdom teeth, a broken tooth that I pulled some of it out and the gum has almost grown over what’s left and another hole in one of my molars when a piece of tooth just fell out one day when pregnant with my fifth baby.

Even being in this much pain and knowing that I HAVE to go to the dentist isn’t making me pick up the phone. Everything about the dentist frightens me, from being unable to talk, to pain, to judgement on my shitty teeth. To make matters even worse, I also can’t cope with the thought of any sort of sedation after trauma when I was very young with a general anaesthetic.

I can’t go until Tuesday anyways because I am working but the closer it gets, the more distressed I am becoming. I am not registered with a dentist so I will have to call the nhs line. I think I will need at least 3 teeth pulled. I used to have perfect teeth then had two severe depressive episodes where I could barely function and stopped looking after myself. I do now I’m better but it’s too little too late.

There must be people like me on here, please tell me your positive stories, I need all the encouragement I can get.

Just seen your recent post & wanted to add a normal tooth being taken out is nothing like a wisdom extraction. If you've survived the pain that follows that, you'll be absolutely fine

Also, op same as me with birth. No pain relief with my first child. Piece of cake compared to some dentist trips I’ve had over the years which confirms to me that I am not simply a wuss, but this is an actual phobia

Thanks all for not making me feel even worse than I already do about making such a fuss. I’m going to try get to Tuesday when I am then off work for four days to call nhs dentist and hope for the best.

OP I have terrible teeth too and have had a bit of a dentist phobia in the past. I agree the pain of bad tooth ache is worse than childbirth (and I've had three children, 2 without any pain relief). I have another probable abscess right now. Have made an appointment to see the dentist on Monday. It's depressing. But I know that any dental procedure is nowhere near as bad as the pain of toothache. And the procedure will instantly heal the pain. I hate going to the dentist. But I prefer it to the pain. I have found that meditation helps a lot. It keeps me more calm and steady when I'm at the dentist. I'll do some meditation over the weekend to prepare and then use it to zone out hopefully when I'm at the dentist on Monday. You can access free guided meditation on the headspace app if you're interested.

Oh OP I really feel for you. I am not afraid of the dentist but haven’t had to have anything done until I had a wisdom tooth out last year and I was absolutely terrified, the shakes in the waiting room and everything. I am not good with needles at all and the idea of one in my gum made me sob. I was at the point of wanting to be sedated but then being terrified of that too - not like you so I can’t pretend to understand how terrifying that must be, but I’d be amazed if they even suggested it rather than a local if you need one, and I am sure if you explain that’s not something you can do they will work around it.

In the end it was all absolutely fine. The dentists and the nurse were amazing and lovely. The worst bit was a the scratch of the needle but it was basically nothing. A hippy as it sounds I was doing slow, deep breaths to try and keep calm which really helped. I did suddenly feel a little panicky, then realised I’d been holding my breath but the minute I went to put my hand up for them to stop (which they told me to do at any point if I needed to) it was all done. I honestly walked out going “maybe I should just get the rest out just in case.”

The hardest bit of anything like this I think is actually just picking up the phone and getting there.

I am a dentist phobic (due to losing 2 teeth unnecessarily in the past) and am utterly petrified of anyone near my mouth and I can't even cope with the sound of ahouse drill let alone a dentist's one!
BUT.. once I plucked up courage, the dentist referred me to a specialist, and I was treated with conscious sedation.. you are still there, but you don't care don't remember and it's all over before you know it. I had treatment this way recently and have the rest being done in January. I still hate check ups because I'm fully present, but any fillings or 'big' stuff is done under conscious sedation and it just works! This is available on the NHS (but quicker privately if you need it NOW)

Please don’t believe that private dentists are better than those who work for the NHS

Go. It may feel torturous but you will feel 100% better

Btw, I have several infections and abscesses from my teeth and wisdom teeth.... very painful but I felt much much better from going to the dentist

I'm a dental receptionist and I would do anything to help a patient in pain. We know how bad the pain can be and how worried patients are. We chat and reassure our patients and even more so when we know they are scared. When you phone tell them how scared you are. Like a pp said we know our dentists. Good luck.

Oh I feel your pain, literally. I hate the dentist, and I say hate as I’m not as bad as I was - a shaking, sweating, crying mess. Like you, my teeth suffered when I didn’t look after myself, but my mum took me in hand. She’s now come with me to every trip to the dentist, even held up hand as I cried through appointments. Cos yes. I’m 41 years old & my mum came with me to the dentist. In fact has done multiple times since, apart from the last 2 appts when I’ve been brave enough to go alone (my end goal). If you don’t have a fab mum or anyone who can come with you, I highly recommend talking to your dentist. Explain your fear so they know when to stop & explain what’s going on as they go through it. Or ask them to give you an idea of how long a process will be & count down on a clock.

Also for me, a banging playlist and earbuds. I drown out the machinery noise with some music that makes me happy instead. Or calming music might work better for some, old skool drum & bass did it for me.

Good luck!

Dental phobic here. I didn’t go for years, but then developed an impacted wisdom tooth, so had to. I got a recommendation for a dentist good with phobics. They take their time and are sympathetic, I still get scared of check ups and treatment but it’s much better now I know it won’t hurt and I won’t be belittled for my fear. Dentistry has come a long way.

In the meantime get down to the chemist and buy some hydrogen peroxide. Use it as a mouthwash 3 times a day. It saved me while I waited to get to the dentist. Half a tooth and a very large filling dropped out after I gave birth and I wasted months because of lockdown and fears over going to the dentist and ended up in horrendous pain.
Biting down gently on a piece of ginger also helped. Also swilling oil in the morning (spit in the bin not the sink!) and chewing up garlic.

By the time I eventually saw the dentist my teeth were a mess but I wasn't in pain anymore!

If you try nothing else at the very least please do rinse out well with hydrogen peroxide. It took a day and w half to really kick in but I'm certain that was what made the big difference. I brought mine from Amazon to clean the grout in the bath with and saw it said the uses for mouthwash on the back. In a moment of desperation I tried it!

Sending hugs, you'll get through this. Call 111 they helped me see a dentist same day

Could you handle a low level of gas and air? That Has really took the edge off for me. The dentists that understand the phobia are so lovely, happy to stop if needed, get you a water and mine even wipes my tears while I'm lying there.

The anticipation and first step is always much harder

I've found it helps to have something important to think about to take your mind off what's happening. My former dentist understood this and would say something outrageous when I couldn't reply so I was so focused on what he'd said that i forgot what was going on in my mouth. Eg these days it might be "Trump,is one of Americas great presidents".

Or recently the dental nurse had a problem in my professional sphere and I was able to think about what advice to give her

Op. I’m a hygienist. We see many nervous people all the time. Lots of people feel nervous, some are a little apprehensive some literally shake in the chair it’s normal
I would tell them before you arrive that you’re scared and ask if you can see someone used to seeing nervous patients

• ask for a gel to go on your gum before they do the anaesthetic- it takes the sting away

I think it’s helpful to find the right dentist. Someone patient and kind who listens and explains everything- there’s many good dentists about
I could tell you lots of positive stories of people who were terrified but gained confidence You may never ‘enjoy’ it but I do know a lot of people who now come regularly

@Shortfeet

Please don’t believe that private dentists are better than those who work for the NHS

Totally agree. I’ve ended up with a private dentist but only because the main advantage is it’s really easy to join. Sometimes it can be hard to find a local nhs dentist taking on patients.

I've been there OP. Sobbed my way into and through my appointment, DP had to come to stop me leaving! You'll feel so much better once you've done it

Hi OP.

I'm a recovered dental phobic. I avoided them for 20 years, would physically shake, feel sick and start crying at the thought of phoning one, let alone going. I've had awful, painful experiences with them in the past.

I was in agony with toothache (and with a mouthful of rotten broken teeth). My newish DP dragged me into a dentist.

My god, why did I suffer all those years? Things have changed. She is NHS and really cares. She uses a numbing gel before injections. She didn't tell me off. She managed to crown or fill teeth I was positive would have to be pulled out. She made a bridge to fill a gap from an earlier extracted tooth.

My teeth look as normal as they ever will.

I could cry with gratitude now, not fear. I'm no longer afraid and can go on my own.

Remember it's in the dentist's interest for you to be pain free. They don't want you twitching while they try to work on a tooth.

The injection is the only bit to get past. It will last less than 30 secs, so concentrate on counting slowly to 30. After that, you will have no pain, but to reassure yourself, ask how you can signal that you need a break - it's usually raising a hand.

Most dentists will do both nhs and private, private normally means more time but the same dentist.

Multiple injections is relatively common for a tooth extraction. This to make sure you arent in pain, topical gel and good technique can make them much easier but a couple of injections is to be expected. Once the first one is in you should start to go numb and so the rest are easier.
It is completely fine to extract an infected tooth but can require more LA. I think Ive had one tooth in my entire career that we couldnt get numb, and of course didnt proceed with the extraction.

Sometimes teeth do need breaking up to get them out. Especially wisdom teeth, its still a simple procedure. It just takes more time than a regular extraction. Some people get on better with this technique as theres less pressure. What you had was a conpletely 'normal' although not common extraction.

I dont think you should go in with the idea that it will be quick, but go in with the idea that the dentist absolutely knows what they are doing. They will get the tooth out, even if its buried, even if it breaks. These are things that are simple to manage from a dentists perspective

Im going to be honest and say if someone is anxious it can make for a stressful environment. Especially if someone is not getting on very well with the procedure, you want it finished as quick as possible for them. If it was done in a hospital then its possible it was a trainee or student, Dentists arent immune to stress. This is one reason I think it would be better for you to go private in the long run as it takes away the time pressure of NHS work. Meaning the dentist can take as long as they need with you, and theres no worry about getting things done quickly or on time.

I think definitely let the pratice know you are anxious, they can allocate you a longer appointment if necessary and make sure you get a dentist who is good with anxious patients.

I put up with a very difficult tooth with an abscess for over two years, having spent more time than I'd ever wish at the dentist over my lifetime and already five teeth out previously (one of which was the baby tooth in the same location with an abscess under gas and air as a child, which I found really traumatic. Think things are very different if they're done to you as a child).

Booked an appointment in severe pain at the start of the year. Had to take antibiotics for a week and then got it extracted just before lockdown. I won't lie, it wasn't a barrel of laughs but the dentist was so very lovely and I'm so very, very happy I had it taken out. I love my gap in comparison to that bastard tooth.

Once the pandemic has passed I might see about upgrading my five year old temporary filling, again with the same dentist.

I would echo what others have said, let the dentist know how scared you feel, it's not unusual and there's no shame in it. See what they suggest that might help, and if you do need an extraction/s, book some time off afterwards to look after yourself, recover and mentally unwind

OP I have a dentist phobia too, following from a nasty experience when I was younger. I needed treatment recently and was very honest with the receptionist and dentist about my nervousness and fear. They were very respectful and supportive and I didn’t need treatment taking about 2 hours under local anaesthetic and it was actually no where near as bad as I had been imagining. I ended thinking I wish I hadn’t put the treatment off for so long and made it worse by not getting it dealt with sooner. Please get treatment but discuss your worries and phobias with the dentist x

OP, you sound so like me. I hadn’t been to the dentist for years and years because I’m so terrified and had two broken molars which kept causing pain but then it was excruciating and I had to go. I told them how terrified I was and they gave me antibiotics and had a quick look and took some X-rays. They referred me to the Hospital. Thanks to COVID they are still there - I’ve needed antibiotics 3 times in the last year, but i just can’t do it.

I know sedation must be a scary prospect to you after what you’ve been through. I wonder if you explain whether you might be able to take someone with you?

If there’s any chance you’re in London I had amazing care years ago under sedation at Guys & St Thomas - IV sedation so I had no idea what was going on but all in an open plan space with cubicles and my husband sitting nearby.

YNBU and I would implore you to take control of this situation and find a dentist who specializes in anxious patients. I've been where you are and had dreadful teeth due to a phobia. I found a hugely supportive local dentist who gave me the most beautiful smile in time for mine and DHs wedding.

It wasnt easy at first, and there were lots of tears but they were with me every stage of the way. On the day of my last appointment when they fitted my crown and whitened my teeth there wasnt a dry eye in the room as they knew how much I'd overcome to get there.

Its restored my faith in the dentist and now have check ups every 6 months. Wishing you lots of luck.