To be concerned over what my daughter says about a child at school.

[Jgb12]

I have two children. Both with additional needs and they both have support at school. DS has 1:1. Dd has some degree of extra help but not 1:1.
I’m saying this because I know children with additional needs can struggle in school settings etc and struggle with their behaviour.

Dd comes home and tells me that a little lad in her class is horrible to her. He chucked a toy at her the other day, she said he kicked her today. She has come home with little marks on her legs that are from pencils being shoved into her skin. I think the little boy in question has additional needs himself so I do have sympathy and I don’t want to bring it up with the school unless I have to but Dd is really upset and says that he is quite a handful. I know his mum and I would never approach her because being a parent of children with additional needs I know how hard it is and it’s not her fault at all.

But I can’t help feel he should be better supervised.

There’s a few of them in the class needing extra support in a group of 25, probably about 5 inc Dd requiring support. I think out of the whole school it’s the only year group with a larger number of children needing extra help but there’s only 2 TA’s, in fact one goes home in the afternoons so 1 in the afternoon. They are only 5 and 6 so I don’t feel this is enough.

Aibu to be really annoyed. She’s in tears saying he hurt and I feel it’s a reflection of the lack of support in the class... I know money is tight in schools but both Dd and another child have their support outlined in an EHCP so the school really need to sort this.

I think I’m annoyed at the school more than anything !

If I saw marks on my child I would be extremely unhappy to say the least, and would make it known!

Have your DH teach her how to fight. Then when the boy start hitting or hurting her, she can fight back. It will only take one time and he won't be bothering her again
Please don't do this. If she is gentle it is who she is.
I'd be fearful telling her to hit lots of DC with SEN are bull strong.
Speak to the teacher she'll involve the parent to help sort it.
I read lots of books on gentle hands to DS could teacher recommend this to parents it really helped him.
The school is letting both of them down more likely through lack of funding.

You need to advocate for your dd. The other child having sen means that they maybe don't understand their behaviour or control it very well yet, the child will grown and will have to learn eventually. Hopefully they will receive support in and out of school to do this. The most important issue however is that this child is hurting yours and she is upset. She deserves to have someone fight her corner and this needs to be brought to the schools attention. How they manage this, I don't know but I would be livid if she was my dd, my ds would simply lob a child that hit him but I know my own dd would not.

If the marks on her legs are still visible, take photographs of them - also if it happens again take photographs as soon as possible.

The school has a duty to keep your child safe, so they should take this seriously. If they don't have enough staff for that purpose, they should consider applying for an EHCP for the little boy.

The SEN of any of the children is irrelevant here. I agree with pp that you speak to her teacher each and every time that something like this happens. I did this when my child was being bullied by another child. It helps the school know and have a record of what is happening so that it can actually be dealt with.

and you don't have to have the solution of how it's dealt with - the school and the teachers will do that

Sorry not read all the thread but schools need proof to offer support.

If they receive information from parents that backs up their proof to get support.

If more parents raise concerns it adds weight

It’s not a bad thing to ask questions

Your DD should be a higher priority to you than a random child. The attacks need to stop or if they can’t manage that then the boy needs to be removed. Where they move him to isn’t your problem.

To be fair if he was in my class I would sit him on his own

@MummyMiss

To be fair if he was in my class I would sit him on his own

Because segregating a child is a wonderful solution to help them develop social skills isn’t it!

As PP's have said, definitely talk directly to the school.

My DS15 attends an SEN school with 1:1 and any time he is injured either accidentally or intentionally they are very hot on about telling me.

Usually by the time he is home the injury or expected bruise is not even visible but I do appreciate their telling me.

They send a note home and also ring me.

@Sirzy

No but in all honesty if he’s endangering a child that’s tough luck

Obviously that would be a last resort

[quote MummyMiss]@Sirzy

No but in all honesty if he’s endangering a child that’s tough luck[/quote]
So rather than just do the groundwork needed to help develop the skills and tackle the issue you will segregate him away from his peers. Helpful!

I did say as a last resort

the boy needs to be removed. It takes much more than this to expel a child.

To be fair if he was in my class I would sit him on his own How big is your classroom?! No spare desks in mine at all.

@BluSpider

Your DD should be a higher priority to you than a random child. The attacks need to stop or if they can’t manage that then the boy needs to be removed. Where they move him to isn’t your problem.

Almost certainly not necessary, and not possible. He probably just needs sufficient support both to teach him not to hurt others and to supervise him till he learns not to.

@MummyMiss

To be fair if he was in my class I would sit him on his own

OP says most of it happens at playtime.

@MoonJelly

If the marks on her legs are still visible, take photographs of them - also if it happens again take photographs as soon as possible.

The school has a duty to keep your child safe, so they should take this seriously. If they don't have enough staff for that purpose, they should consider applying for an EHCP for the little boy.

An EHCP doesn't come with any funding whatsoever in our county.

We are expected to make provision entirely from school - or MAT - funds.

And that is if a child meets the threshold for an EHCP in the first place.

An EHCP will come with funding because that is the whole point of applying.
You get X amount based on the child s needs funded by the LA.
It comes to school directly and can be tracked although some LAs pay it a year in arrears.
But whether the child is SEND it not, has or has no additional funding. They should not be hurting other children.Not should parents tolerate it or give it more leeway.

@cabbageking not all EHCPs do actually provide any additional funding.

And it's rare for funding to actually be adequate

No, in our LA there is never any funding attached if the pupil is in mainstream provision.

@rawlikesushi schools need to be fighting for the appropriate funding to meet needs in the plans. My DDs school just had a battle with the LA over her funding as it wasn't adequate to provide section f.

LAs do it because they get away with it :(

It’s not the LA that’s fault (at least when it comes to how much is available). The government has significantly reduced how much money they’re given.