About Father Christmas

[Bobbiepin]

Preparing to be told I'm unreasonable but here we go anyway...

I'm Jewish and although we have Christmas lunch with family, growing up we celebrated Channukah and my parents never did Father Christmas. There was never a sit down conversation about how he isn't real but it was always known. Presents came from the people they came from and we thanked them for it.

Now as a mother I see so many posts on social media in various family groups along the lines of "my 7yo doesn't believe, how can I let her down gently/keep the magic alive a bit longer/get her not to tell her younger brother" etc.

I don't understand it! Kids of poorer parents feel like they've been bad because Santa didn't get them as much. Kids don't appreciate what they've been given because it has come from a magical being and it's just a bare faced lie! Don't even get me started on taking children to sit on Santa's perfect stranger's lap.

AIBU?

YABU

You don't understand how magical he is because you never believed in him.

It's the idea of Christmas being magical. Personally we'll be telling Santa as a story that some people believe and some people dont and you can decide what to believe for yourself. But we'll still do all the fun Christmas films and stuff, no santas lap, too creepy, and no elf on the shelf, again, creepy.

Absolutely agree. I've never told my children that he's real and don't intent to. I love Christmas and find it the most magical time of the year without Father Christmas. There is so much more to Christmas than Santa.

YABU. We never did big presents from Father Christmas though, just a stocking and then big presents from the family.
Also why wouldn't children appreciate presents just because they come from Father Christmas?
It's just about making Christmas that bit more special and magical while they are young enough to believe.
And it's been years since children were allowed to sit on his lap.

When mine were very little we always made a point of explaining that Father Christmas was something some people believed in. I think I was uncomfortable as a new mum with the idea of ‘lying’ to my children.
But as they got older they decided for themselves he was real so I’m on board with it. Father Christmas only brings stocking presents in our house. Presents under the tree are from the gift giver.
No elf on the shelf here either 1. He’s creeps me out and 2. How do people have time for that?

But he is real! I'm 44 and still believe.

YABU, its up to individuals how they 'do' Christmas.

We do Santa but my DC have been told that DH and I (or gran or grandad, etc) buy the gifts, we send them to Santa for safekeeping. If the DC have tried their best to be good people and have tried to put right any mistakes they've made (because we all make mistakes) then he brings the gifts back on Christmas Eve. Because they know we buy them they also know that there is a realistic limit on what they should ask for - no ponies or solid gold quad bikes - and they know that this is why some children get more/less than others, it also means they know to thank the giver of the gift and not the jolly red man. Santa does bring one gift each year that is "from Santa" and its always something for them to share such as a family pass for a local attraction or art supplies or garden toys.

I hate the bloody elf but they asked for one so we do the elf. He doesn't spy for Santa because I don't like that, instead he's a cheeky prankster and plays tricks in the week leading up to Christmas. Previous tricks he's played include drawing mustaches on the DC with eyeliner while they were sleeping, replacing their box of Weetabix with a box of dry leaves, and filling the living room with ball pit balls (borrowed from playgroup, DC loved it).

Yeah, if you didn't grow up believing it does sound kind of daft, but it really does have a kind of magic that you can't get elsewhere, especially when they're little. I suppose your celebrations would seem alien to me though too.

Like everything it has it's downsides and families come up with their own ways of dealing with that, in some houses for instance Santa only brings the stockings and the big gifts from Mum and Dad, in others Santa brings just one gift, etc.

However you celebrate I hope everyone has as good a festive season as possible.

I suppose I just don't understand how a stranger bringing gifts makes it magical. I appreciate the responses of people doing a light version of Santa IYSWIM but it still baffles me.

I'm not telling anyone how they should celebrate Christmas, certainly not my place for it.

@Autumncolourlover

But he is real! I'm 44 and still believe.

Exactly, he only visits if you truly believe anyway.

Oh and my friends with young children have shared pictures of their children on Santa's lap from last year. They are definitely still sitting!

Yea. This again 🙄

Yanbu, though it will be seen as odd by others.

I had Santa done for me and DH did for him but we've agreed we won't be doing it for our kids. I'm sure there was a point in time where I believed it all but my earliest memories around father Christmas are of being frustrated that my parents were lying to me, and not feeling able to say I didn't believe for fear of hurting their feelings (and/or cutting off the present supply). DH thinks the kids will feel more loved knowing these things came from family.

Sure, we might tell them "the Santa story" but it'll be alongside other fairytales and not intended to be believed.

YABU.
You don't understand the magic because you didn't experience it.

Believing in Santa was one of the most exciting and magical experiences of my childhood. The sheer joy and excitement on Christmas Eve, trying to stay up, listening for the reindeer. Still makes me heart skip.

Never did sitting on laps.

Santa only did stockings and one gift so we we're still thankful to others Amd understood value.

I think the part about Santa bringing gifts rather than family and friends is good for kids (separate from the magic element) as it’s an act of kindness by a stranger to make children happy on Christmas Day. There’s no ties with it or anchoring, just a kind act and it shows kids how good it feel to receive that kind act.

What a ridiculous premise. Have you refused to buy a house because some other people can’t afford one?

I loved believing in Father Christmas as a kid- it made Christmas so much more exciting! I naturally stopped believing it at around 8/9 so it was no huge shocker when I discovered that it was a myth. I really think it adds to the magic and wonderment and I don't see any real problems with it!

@Autumncolourlover

But he is real! I'm 44 and still believe.

I’m also 44 😂 Op I get what you’re trying to say but for me growing up believing in Father Christmas it was wonderful. Being able to believe in magic, the excitement of it all, that was a lovely gift from my parents looking back. We followed the same “tradition” for our two and honestly the joy it brings them is worth it. Let’s face it, being a grown up carries the weight of so many burdens, why can’t we allow an element of magic? As for the sitting on a stranger’s knee, you’re there the whole time and most of the gentlemen that create the image aren’t there for anything inappropriate it’s a shame that anyone who cares about creating the tradition is viewed as dodgy

@Bobbiepin

I suppose I just don't understand how a stranger bringing gifts makes it magical. I appreciate the responses of people doing a light version of Santa IYSWIM but it still baffles me.

I'm not telling anyone how they should celebrate Christmas, certainly not my place for it.

I think because your parents have a sort of 'duty' as parents to provide for you, which includes gift giving for special occasions then presents from parents are special but expected. The idea that some other altruistic individual, with a kind-heart has thought about you enough to plan and make/bring presents is magical.

I'm really surprised about the sitting on Santa's lap. Having done Santa visits for my children and nephews over the years I can honestly say the last time it was allowed was when my middle child was 2 (she's now 12).
Obviously must be different everywhere.

My dp never got me much and I was extremely grateful how does a 6 year old know what anything costs?.

It's more than the present it's a magic... Immerse theatre we all enter into as a society for the dc.. It's a beautiful thing

My mum still signs my presents from Father Christmas. Also has always refused to say he isnt real. It's so funny, and as kids od course we knew he wasn't real, but loved our parents resolutely saying he was! I've survived- no long term damage from keeping a bit of magic alive! X

I’m with you on the type of presents santa brings. Our DC get presents from Santa but it’s toys / chocolate etc any big ticket presents are from us. Why should Santa get all the credit and make other children less fortunate feel bad. I want that big thank you hug.

The magic of Christmas isn’t just about Santa it was the whole thing. Food, family, new toys and lots of sweets.

You never experienced the magic of Santa at Christmas time so you don't understand. To small children who do experience the Christmas magic Santa is real. I still hang my stocking up.