About Father Christmas

[Bobbiepin]

Preparing to be told I'm unreasonable but here we go anyway...

I'm Jewish and although we have Christmas lunch with family, growing up we celebrated Channukah and my parents never did Father Christmas. There was never a sit down conversation about how he isn't real but it was always known. Presents came from the people they came from and we thanked them for it.

Now as a mother I see so many posts on social media in various family groups along the lines of "my 7yo doesn't believe, how can I let her down gently/keep the magic alive a bit longer/get her not to tell her younger brother" etc.

I don't understand it! Kids of poorer parents feel like they've been bad because Santa didn't get them as much. Kids don't appreciate what they've been given because it has come from a magical being and it's just a bare faced lie! Don't even get me started on taking children to sit on Santa's perfect stranger's lap.

AIBU?

@Gancanny

YABU, its up to individuals how they 'do' Christmas.

We do Santa but my DC have been told that DH and I (or gran or grandad, etc) buy the gifts, we send them to Santa for safekeeping. If the DC have tried their best to be good people and have tried to put right any mistakes they've made (because we all make mistakes) then he brings the gifts back on Christmas Eve. Because they know we buy them they also know that there is a realistic limit on what they should ask for - no ponies or solid gold quad bikes - and they know that this is why some children get more/less than others, it also means they know to thank the giver of the gift and not the jolly red man. Santa does bring one gift each year that is "from Santa" and its always something for them to share such as a family pass for a local attraction or art supplies or garden toys.

I hate the bloody elf but they asked for one so we do the elf. He doesn't spy for Santa because I don't like that, instead he's a cheeky prankster and plays tricks in the week leading up to Christmas. Previous tricks he's played include drawing mustaches on the DC with eyeliner while they were sleeping, replacing their box of Weetabix with a box of dry leaves, and filling the living room with ball pit balls (borrowed from playgroup, DC loved it).

I hate the 'elf spies for Santa' thing too - we have an elf but he isn't allowed to be a snitch as we don't allow tell tales in our house! Xx

You do you, OP.
Personally, my little ones are being brought up to believe. I remember how magical it was as a child and I want them to have that joy and excitement too.
I feel for those who aren't getting presents, it's absolutely horrible. I would happily buy an extra present for a child who would otherwise go without. That said, I am not taking away from my own children's experience because of this. Their belief in Santa won't affect anyone else.

I took my son, who is nearly two, to see Santa last year. He sat on his knee. We were with him. It was fine. I think you can teach them a distinction between talking to Santa with your mum and dad present and going off with a stranger.

I think it’s fair not to understand a tradition you didn’t grow up with, but for people who did the memories are often an incredibly important and emotive part of the Christmas experience. FWIW I think that whether children are grateful for what they receive is much more to do with how they are patented than with whether or not they believe in Santa.

I don’t remember ever actually believing in Father Christmas, I just knew it was important to play along. I remember finding it really strange when friends at school really did 100% believe, but I had been taught not to say anything. We did (and will do with our boys) that Stockings are from Santa and presents are from who they are actually from. I’m hoping as they get older they’ll think of it the way I did.

We’re atheists in and it feels really strange to teach them that the nativity story is not true but that Santa is!

The whole Father Christmas thing was SO exciting when I was small, I remember literally shaking with excitement and being unable to sleep. The years where they understand and believe in Father Christmas are short and one of the best childhood memories for many people. We were very poor growing up but never compared value of presents with friends until we were beyond the santa years, it just didn't really occur to us. We were always delighted with our gifts. My kids are 3 and 5 and definitely believers

I 'do' Father Christmas in the same way as my parents did - 1 present from him and nothing electronic/huge (too high tech for the elves to make!)

My parents never made a big deal of it and most DC naturally stop believing around 8/9.

We only ever had Santa giving the stocking fillers as well. Our DDs (now 11 and 8) stopped believing a year ago. It was a lot of fun while it lasted. For young children, it really is magical.

I can understand you not getting it if it isn’t a tradition you grew up with, though.

If you don't want your children to be believe, that's okay and completely up to you. But yes YABU. Father Christmas was such a special and magical part of my childhood, of course I want to pass that joy down to my children.

We do a few smaller presents from Santa and a big present us.

Yanbu. It’s often more for the parents than the kids- look at the elaborate efforts people go to to “prove” he is real... and the weird way in which people can say the nativity isn’t but Santa is with a straight face.
Christmas has its own magic for us and always has and will- without a belief in Santa, this magic remains the same for life. So many people felt their christmases weren’t as magical after the knew the truth... but instead of avoiding that before and after for their own kids they recreate that cycle. I don’t understand why. The only similar thing is Disneyland and how people try to actually convince their kids that the characters are the real ones 🤷🏻‍♀️
I don’t tell my kids things that aren’t true any time of the year so won’t do it at Christmas. It’s a story and tradition with some background eg St Nicholas and other countries are different etc- so the kids learn about this. But real? Nope.

One of my strongest childhood memories I have is of a vivid dream I had of FC/Santa coming into my room and patting my toy dogs on the head. Logically, I now know it was a dream, but for the little girl on CE it was real.

I still believe in Santa, but not in that way. More as the spirit of Christmas that drives the thousands of acts of kindness. People donating gifts to toy banks. Extra food bank donations. People dressing up as Santa and elves for childrens Christmas parties. All stuff people do to make Christmas magical for others... Sort of like the original St Nicholas.

Santa/Father Christmas bringing all the presents is a bit weird, yes.

But we only ever had a lovely stocking from him: chocolate money, fruit, a book, a couple of small toys... nothing fancy, but so exciting to find and unwrap in the morning.

My DS, now 12, still believes and I haven't got the heart to tell him Father Christmas isn't real. I have told him that not everyone believes and it's a bit like religion/God, you either do or you don't. He knows FC only brings 1 present (as he couldn't possibly fill his sleigh with the dozens of gifts he receives). FC adds the 'magic' to an otherwise overly commercial 'greed fest'.

My ds is 4 and he worked out that Santa isn't real. If we are seeing Santa everywhere, in shops and in tv and they all look different he has decided that anyone can be Santa and he isn't that special then. Oh and he also wanted to know who tells Santa if they have been good or bad? And we don't have a chimney so how is he coming in. Yea he worked it out really well that there is no Santa.
My dm said I was also the same but I was around 6.