Sending kids to nursery

[ThatsBullshirt]

I have a small business from home and two small kids. DS1 is four and due to Covid we decided not to send him to nursery at the beginning of the school year. If we don't send him now he'll lose his spot and won't go at all. We knew that this was a possibility when we decided not to send him initially but now that our hand is being "forced" I don't know how to feel about it.

He would absolutely benefit from the social aspect of nursery. I think it's fair to say all kids do. He's fairly confident but takes a little while to warm up to people and is worried/scared to be away from me sometimes. Learning wise, I feel like he's doing pretty well from home.

My biggest issue obviously is covid. I know that they say transmission rates in the young is very low and if they do get it symptoms are very mild. But we are back in lockdown/on tiered systems now because the virus has gotten worse again. Worse than in August when we originally made the decision to keep him home as I am at home anyway. We do have elderly and vulnerable people in our family that I obviously want to keep as safe as possible.

Whilst I know that nursery is good for children in many ways, I never went and I turned out alright 😂 did fine academically at school, was shy but made friends pretty easily - and my son has 100x more confidence than I did at his age and probably do even now!

Am I being totally unreasonable to want to keep him home?

Nursery isn’t compulsory. He’ll be fine if he goes and fine if he doesn’t. Just do what you think is best.

Could you not pay for his place but not send him until the 2nd wave dies down?

The most real risk IMO is having self isolate him. This has happened twice to us since DS2 went back to nursery in September, and it's a bit of an inconvenience to anyone - just not going to nursery (if possible) might be better than repeatedly having to fully isolate a toddler for 14 days IMO. Maybe we've just been unlucky but sounds like this would be more than a small inconvenience to you.

My Dd's school's nursery has had 1 period of isolation since August. Assume there's been the odd day off due to symptoms (cough/temp) but testing if you can get to the Glasgow Airport site has been really quick - I think the longest wait was about 16 hours between deciding to test and results received. Took longer for my in hospital test to come back!

Again, anecdote but both of mine have been in nursery/school since June and the only time we’ve had to isolate is because I caught COVID at work.
In fact, the nursery was open throughout for keyworkers children initially and then to more families since June and they’ve had ONE confirmed case in that time.
School also got through the first term with no bubbles being closed.
So for us it’s been fine.
Personally I think the structure and prep for school is useful. I think nowadays over 90% of kids (ime) have been in childcare of some description before starting school, definitely many more than when I started school.

I think go with your gut feeling .
Nursery isn’t important . Lots of children go to nursery and don’t like it .
I think some people like nursery but other children don’t get on so well.
Not every child is sociable and grounded because they go to nursery .
They have time to learn and catch up when they start school.

OP I'm with you on this.

I also didn't go to nursery - I have to say, it wasn't as much of a thing when I grew up as loads of mums were sahm in the pretty bog standard area I grew up in. By the time my sister was old enough though, she did.

Academically, we have both done well and are high earners. First generation grads. My mum was excellent and we could count, write our name and read well before school. I don't think the social side you're being somewhat dragged for was an issue for me. Of the two of us, my sister is more socially awkward lol. Just like your situation, I saw cousins and had interactions with other kids. I did always have a more mature outlook which maybe was due to spending time with adults but that actually helped me academically I think and never seemed to stop me being well liked at school when it came to making friends