To be jealous?

[couldthisbe]

I'm in my third year of uni, I completed a HNC and HND at college and transferred directly into 3rd year of uni.

I met a woman in my course my first year of college who I have became so so close with, she is a lovely person and we have formed a strong friendship out with college/uni. It just so happened we decided to do the same course.

I've been struggling a bit with uni and the lack of guidance we have been given along with it all being online. However, I like to get my assessments done early where my friend is a last minute person.

The thing is, I submitted my first assessment 2 weeks ago, 3 days early and my friend was still trying to complete hers the day of submission. She asked if I could send her what I had submitted so she could tell she was going down the right path, which I did.

Results came back today, I got an A - 72 % which initially I was elated about, I really struggled with it and had no help at all. However, my friend got 90 %.

Of course I am happy for her but can't help it makes my grade a lesser one, as I put so much work into it and sent my work across to her which she openly admits she just changed into her own words. I'm struggling to understand how she got such a substantially higher mark than me.

AIBU to feel like my grade is less deserved?

Could I really get in to so much trouble by sharing my work?

Yes, you could.

Try to see this as a valuable lesson learned and move on.

That's collusion. You could both get into serious trouble for this: the best that could happen is that the mark for the entire module will be invalidated.

Agree it's horrible up but it happened for a reason.it's to stop you making the same mistake later on in your life with much bigger stakes.Never forget this and remember it well.
Carry on with your hard work,it will be worth it.your friend may not get another high mark like this so don't despair.Karma is watching.

Your mark is still great and at least was achieved entirely by yourself! You should feel proud of yourself. Copying someone else's and adding a few bits here and there is nothing for her to be proud/smug about!

Definitely don't send her any other work though. Also, I'd ask her to see her assessment to have a look at see what she did that gave her an extra 18% - it could be useful to see what you could have added or whether they've just been a bit random with the marking!

Could it be that you weren't the only one that lent her the work to have a look at, so shes taken best bits from a few?

You spent time and effort, then you just handed your hard work to her.

I find it hard to believe that you've completed a HND and are currently on a degree, yet you didn't know what you did was wrong.

This wasn't a group assignment.

Anyway, there will be more assignments and essays going forward, so she'll be on her own...or she'll find someone else to ask.

It doesn't sound like she copied your work that much when she did so much better? But you shouldn't have sent it to her anyway.

Do you happen to be from a minority ethnic group?

Sorry OP you've been very very naive! Of course by giving her a copy she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth and not plagiarise it!

Well done on your Mark

Now you know what she will do just don’t send her the info in the future

I would ask her for her piece, explaining that as she just rejigged your words, you think that she must have been better with structure - so you’d like to see how it could have been done better.

Then you know what she actually did. Even if she substantially copied you, you still have the benefit of seeing how it could be improved. Galling that she used your work - but still a benefit for you.

In future, don’t share your finished work.

With regards to the 72%... perhaps as you’ve switched straight into 3rd year of degree, you’re not used to that marking? I don’t know how HNC/D are marked. When I went to uni and started getting 70+ it was quite an adjustment as I’d almost never got less than 80, and frequently over 90. I just had to recalibrate. I was still just as able, but the scale was different. I did an essay based subject and I don’t know anyone who got over 85, in 3 years!

I know exactly how you feel. Over fifty years ago a friend on the same course as me “borrowed” my essay, I got a D but she copied my work and got a B+. I did speak to the tutor saying we had collaborated in the work. He agreed there was some miscarriage of justice but refused to up my grade. This still rankles half a century later. I have neither forgotten not forgiven!!

OP,
I would definitely be asking to look at exactly what she submitted to see where she added value to your work.

Absolutely ask to see her work now. It's not actually clear to me if she copied your work or just used yours to give herself a sense of whether she was on the right track etc. Also, whatever she did, she did better so seeing her work may well give you useful tips for the future.

If she did basically just copy your work, then you should think long and hard about her character and whether this is someone you want to be friends with.

Unfortunately, I had a similar situation with a very good friend at university. She blatantly took my work and used it for her own. I challenged her and she did not see the issue. Believe it or not, we stayed friends for a long time after because I was too stupid to see that this was a clear sign of her character. When we did eventually have the final fall out, it was spectacular and devastating.

@SandyY2K no...why?

Well you shouldn't have sent your work on to her

Been there. Don't share. No no no.

I still think back to the girl I gave my course work to who plagiarised the lot and got more than me. That was thirty years ago! Need to let it go.

Oh and your friendship is busted. She's a user!

Of course you shouldn't have shared your work. You're lucky it has had no consequences. Hard lesson learned.

Focus on your own education and distance yourself from this person. It's not your responsibility or problem that she feels she can't get through the course without you or whatever. Move on.

Let us know OP how you get on asking to see her essay this will tell you a lot about your friend.

SandyY2K no...why?

I saw something on TV recently, where a woman (black) was talking about always getting Bs or Cs in a particular subject at school. Her friend (white) always got As

One day they switched work...the black one still got a C with her friends work and the white girl got an A, having handed in the black girls work.

The white one was gutted, her work was marked as a C, but the black girl said, she actually felt good knowing her work was worthy of an A, except when she handed it in.

@SandyY2K oh wow, that's terrible! Luckily it's anonymous marking at my uni anyway so things like that can't happen. But no, I'm white.

You've learned your lesson. You were being a good friend but from now on, keep uni work to yourself. It's a bit like mixing money and friends - it just doesn't work.

Well done, 72% is excellent and probably similar to the highest score I got all of uni.

@couldthisbe

I'm sorry but to me - 72 percent is just not good enough.

How insulting to everyone else who got that and below.

If an A isn't good enough for you, then you have problems. It seems very ungrateful. Life is about balance, you'll learn one day that stressing over a 72% was quite a waste of time.

@liveitwell oh please, it's not insulting to anyone, if they're happy with their grade then that's good for them. I'm personally not happy with 72 percent but it's okay because I know where I can improve now. She sent me her work no problem by the way when i asked.