To want to leave LTP so seek a husband

[Daisylady10]

Aibu? To want to leave after 16 years
And 3 dc because I want my dream wedding and he never does?
I have always knows it, perhaps hoping he would change his mind.
I feel i have given him enough years of my life and now i want to go after what ive always wanted
Granted i may never meet anyone else but I can’t shake the feelings.

Should you not have thought about this before you had three kids. You’re thinking of tearing their family apart because a wedding is so important?

I think the OP is using wedding to signify a long-term and committed relationship, rather than just the wedding itself.

It’s great that you’re working to build a career for yourself. Put your energy into that and if you happen to find a nice guy on the way then all the better!

Just don’t “accidentally” get pregnant before you’ve signed the marriage certificate or you’ll end up with the same situation.

@Fouroclockonamarblemorning RTFT - there is an option now to click under the fist post so you can catch up with the MAJOR drip feeds which make your observation pretty pointless.

Dear God, does no one on here know how to RTFT?

OP, you are not living together, you've done the hard work of leaving and you are building a career - of course you should finish it completely and leave open the option of meeting a man who really values you enough to marry you.

Good luck.

@FabbyChix

You think someones going to come along and whisk you off your feet with an ex of 16 years and three kids and take you to the alter?

Lol

It is altar..

That might be the biggest drip feed I've ever seen in my years on MN.

OP, you've already done the hard part. You don't live together and (I'm assuming) the children already split their time between your houses. It doesn't sound like things are going well in your relationship so if you want something more, call time on it and find someone else.

Omg the amount of people on here being rude or sarcastic 😟
Thank you annasgirl
Maskingforlt
DBML
winterwoolies

People will be a bit more blunt than you might like, when you ask one question, let people answer, and then come along with a pretty crucial piece of information that would have meant all the people who have been kind enough to answer, would, most likely have put a different answer.
That is why people have started to be snippy.
MN is a wonderful place for help and advice, but you have to be open about the situation you are in, to get the advice that is best for that situation.

Tbh you may be flogging a dead horse here.
I'd focus on establishing a career and building up a pension pdq. Assume you are on your own and need to ensure you prepare for old age.

Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

@DickBastardly

You living separately for the past year and a half and having main custody of your children puts a massive difference on the situation. I wonder if you left that out of the OP on purpose to make yourself seem more reasonable and him unreasonable?

Well, no, it's the opposite
She didn't seem reasonable in her OP to want to leave the father of her children just so she could have a wedding day . Having read the update , well yes it's perfectly reasonable to want to end a relationship which has has difficulties abs where she does not live with her partner anyway .

@FabbyChix does it make you feel nice or clever for being so spiteful to someone?

[quote Annasgirl]@Fouroclockonamarblemorning RTFT - there is an option now to click under the fist post so you can catch up with the MAJOR drip feeds which make your observation pretty pointless.[/quote]
It might have helped if the relevant information was given in the first post🤷‍♀️

YABU for that massive dripfeed.

As for your relationship, it appears to be over, for all intents and purposes, so I guess it's fair enough to want to finish it completely and start again.

Thanks for replies and sorry for drop feed people
Didn’t want to make such a long post and potentially out myself

Your first post wasn't detailed enough and because people are arses they wont read the thread before repeating nonsense. So just scroll past them.

Yanbu at all to leave at this point. Tbh it looks like he already has. You dont want the same things and the children won't be there as buffers forever. Dont waste anymore years on someone who isnt that bothered.

If you don't want to be in your current relationship, have you considered the possibility that it's possible to live independently rather than desperately hunting the next meal ticket partner before you've left this one?