To wonder why no one comments on my hair cuts?

[theonlywayisup33]

Do you always comment if someone has a haircut/ colour?
If I notice, and generally I do, I always give a positive comment because 99% of the time, it is a nice cut/ colour/ blow dry / makes their hair look neater.

However, I have had up to six inches cut, well done highlights (if I say so myself) and not a word from anyone who I work with (mostly women) or friends I see regularly.
My last cut and colour was last week and I am not at work at the moment but see friends at the school gate etc and not one nice comment despite my glossy locks.
These are lovely friends- so not sure why.
I know I should not be fishing for compliments but I feel I give them so freely e.g "Great coat colour" and I do not get them.
I have noticed people give them to each other when one person has had a trim so wondering if it is me.

When I was at work it was exactly the same.

@MinnieJackson

Unless its a really drastic change I probably wouldn't notice. Sounds like everyone's used to you looking well groomed and sleek which is a positive!

I think it is probably this.

I tend to notice when my ‘scruffier’ friends make an effort. But I think if someone generally looks pretty good, I probably wouldn’t notice changes as much because their overall look (ie well put together) is consistent.

Take it as a nice complement that they haven’t noticed! 😂

I get that. My hair has been pretty long for years so if I just have an inch or two cut off people don't notice and I think that's because it's still 'long hair'. Last week I had at least 6 inches cut off, it's now just above my shoulder. It looks very different. Only one person has noticed!

@switswooo

I always notice male colleagues' cuts too which seems to surprise them.

My lovely boss from about twenty years ago always said that if men had a good haircut, you shouldn’t notice when it gets cut again.

I guess that depends on how much they let it grow between haircuts but that has always stuck in my mind. Now, if I notice a man has had his haircut (DH, looking at you), I do wonder if they have previously had a bad haircut. (Again, DH, please go to a different barber and go more frequently!)

People are weird with noticing haircuts. I often get asked if I've had my hair done when I haven't at all, but I dyed my hair from blonde to dark brown and not even a passing comment of 'oh you dyed your hair'.

I was brought up being told

'It's rude to make personal comments'

So I tend not to comment on others appearances.

I still feel awkward if I'm complimented, and often wonder after if I should have complimented back, but it seems cheesy...

Eg 'love your hair'

'Thanks, yours is great too'

A friend who I've known for 12 years and see several times a week commented on the fact I was now wearing glasses. I wear glasses all day, every day and have done for the last 40 years. People are just very unobservant.

People notice such a cut it length so they are withholding positive comments. Strange.

in length

@DrManhattan

Why would anyone notice? I know someone who had a nose job and no one said anything.

I think that’s different. If you compliment the person they might think you are being passive aggressive about the old nose!

I also had the situation of complimenting a colleagues new haircut and she was really annoyed saying it meant I mustn't have liked it before.
It was such a drama I've not said anything about anyone's hair ever since

I always notice and compliment and I’m surprised at folks saying they’d not notice six inches cut off a friends hair. Do these people even look at their friends.

My husband is a bit shit though. My hairdresser is mobile. He will say has the hairdresser been then, when it’s clear she has, or, your hair looks lovely and she’s not been yet.

I’d not stress about it op.

Those trying to explain away the lack of positive comments are adding to the OP’s discomfiture.
I am usually not a fan of of the “They must be jealous.” school of explanation but, in cases like this, I think people are being mean to withhold positive comments.

They are probably the sorts of people who would make a comment if the OP’s hair looked awful. Then they’d queue up to make bright comments.
Ignore them, OP. It’s proof your hair looks good.

Do these people even look at their friends.

To be honest, barely, we're all always busy wrangling toddlers while simultaneously trying to finish a sentence!

@PolarnOPirate

Do these people even look at their friends.

To be honest, barely, we're all always busy wrangling toddlers while simultaneously trying to finish a sentence!

Honestly, I’m not sure I believe you.

They maybe just haven't noticed. I don't even notice dramatic hair colour changes until weeks later. At least I do pick up on emotional changes really quickly, but visual, no. I blame my eyes, they are crap.

I would notice if you would change from a conservative haircut to a rainbow mohawk. Otherwise- not a clue. I‘m not into appearances

Do these people even look at their friends.
I‘m not really interested in how my friends look unless it indicates they are in trouble. Not a criterion for me, sorry

I never really comment saying "you look good" because I've had people assume that means that they used to look crap.

Plus people should really not need affirmation about their own personal style.

@Bluntness100

I agree with your view. People are going into twists attempting to show how blind they and others would be to such a dramatic change. Entertaining, though, I must say!

I never really comment saying "you look good" because I've had people assume that means that they used to look crap.

They are odd, in that case. Most people would be pleased and it would entirely normal to regard such words as complimentary.

...be entirely

This thread deserves a place in the infamous Classics.😆

Disingenuousness is in charge of the thread!

Pukkatea
I had something similar happen. I did a nice blow dry one day and got asked loads if I'd had my hair done: I hadn't. Got 6 inches taken off it (still just below shoulder length) and nothing. Family have noticed drastic changes in colour.

It sounds awful, but I genuinely don't think people pay thay much attention to other people's appearance (be it hair, makeup, clothing etc beyond whether someone looks put together or not).The problem is that those who do then take it personally if other people don't notice it in them. It's just people having different expectations of each other, with those who are observant claiming they just don't understand how anyone wouldn't be on hair watch.

Well this has been very helpful. I do not think it is jealousy. They are slimmer and mostly younger than me. I now think it is sheer lack of being observant.
It's odd for me as I notice a lot but can know what I have not observed....