To wonder why no one comments on my hair cuts?

[theonlywayisup33]

Do you always comment if someone has a haircut/ colour?
If I notice, and generally I do, I always give a positive comment because 99% of the time, it is a nice cut/ colour/ blow dry / makes their hair look neater.

However, I have had up to six inches cut, well done highlights (if I say so myself) and not a word from anyone who I work with (mostly women) or friends I see regularly.
My last cut and colour was last week and I am not at work at the moment but see friends at the school gate etc and not one nice comment despite my glossy locks.
These are lovely friends- so not sure why.
I know I should not be fishing for compliments but I feel I give them so freely e.g "Great coat colour" and I do not get them.
I have noticed people give them to each other when one person has had a trim so wondering if it is me.

When I was at work it was exactly the same.

I would definitely notice a 6 inch cut to a bob.

I do struggle to notice blond hair going a different shade of blond, brunette going brunette etc

I always notice male colleagues' cuts too which seems to surprise them.

The only other time I've not said anything but noticed a change was when a friend (not close) had lip fillers. They looked really bad but I didn't know if she thought they looked bad which would make her feel worse. Or perhaps she loved them or maybe she thought they were not noticeable so it's was rude to mention. Minefield!!

I had a fringe cut in and no one has said anything! It’s really odd

I went from halfway down my back to chin length. It garnered lots of comments - and compliments - from my colleagues except my boss of nine years. He'd first known me with a short bob so that's how he'd always seen me

I don't notice. I would struggle to describe to you the existing hairstyle of most of the people I know. Its like the weather forecast. Somehow I just have these blind spots for certain things.

No one comments when I have one.

@switswooo

I always notice male colleagues' cuts too which seems to surprise them.

I notice mens cuts because of the fresh trim slap phase. I have to stop myself from smacking the back of their heads

I had 18 inches off my hair once and it took dh 24 hours to notice.

Mind you I also once bought 2 6 foot bookshelves and put them in the living room. That took him 3 weeks. 🤣

Ok so people may just not be so observant but they notice others' getting an inch trim.
Anyway, I guess I have to put it down to them not noticing.
However, Witchend your DH wins the prize.

I don’t comment unless it is a dramatic change. It’s a bit like commenting on teeth whitening or leg waxing isn’t it?

I don’t want anyone commenting on my personal grooming, and I don’t comment on anyone else’s unless it is clearly meant to be noticed (pink hair, showy nails, etc). Even if it looks nice. I just think it’s a bit of an overstep. Like telling somebody their breath smells minty. Technically a compliment, but breaks the polite fiction that nobody is looking. Maybe your colleagues think like me.

I always notice hair cuts on everyone and usually mention it without thinking.

I remember a crotchety old colleague who didn’t notice when I had 6 inches off mine. We sat opposite each other and it looked all bouncy and gorgeous after the hairdresser, not a word. A couple of days later after washing it myself which always looks way worse, she said “you’ve had your hair cut!!!” I said “yes, on monday” and she said “no, definitely not, you must have had it done last night”

No Claire. It was Monday. It was my hair and I remember it pretty well. I’m not having a fucking row about it thanks...

"Gee your new hair style looks great!" can easily mean "Gosh your hair looked terrible before."

Why would I say that to someone? Great for you to say how much you like your hair change of course if you want to talk about it.

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace

Try something like this

Seriously? I'm just not that observant about hair and it would take something quite dramatic for me to notice. I don't think anyone's being deliberately unkind.

That pictures reminds me of that sand you'd get in a bottle as a kid.

I don't ever comment if someone's had their hair changed/coloured. You do it for you no one else right?
I usually don't notice anyway.

I tend not to notice unless it's very dramatic (like a totally different colour or long to a Bob.

They might be jealous of you generally.

"Gee your new hair style looks great!" can easily mean "Gosh your hair looked terrible before."

No. It never means that.
If someone compliments you on your new hair, it is because they think it looks nice. No-one ever said "Love your new haircut" whilst honestly thinking "yesterday you looked a mess".
It is only people who - for whatever reasons I'm not going into amateur psychologist mode over - are unable to take a compliment graciously could possibly twist people's words and intentions that way.

I'm rubbish at noticing - in my head I remember people as they looked a few years ago, so don't always register change.
That said, if someone's hair/anything else looks good, I'd tell them.

Your new hair sounds lovely, op, so just to make up for your unobservant/reticent friends, here's what they should have said - "your hair looks great! It really suits you like that. Where did you get it done?"

They might be jealous of you generally
Oh no, not this. Jealousy seems to be the default response to almost anything on here:

• people didn't comment on my hair cut = must be jealousy
• I disagree with my neighbours having more cars than they have parking for and blocking access to other people = you're obviously jealous of their cars
• AIBU to think my colleague is a hypocrite for talking endlessly about how green they are when they fly long haul several times a year = totally jealous of their holiday

Sometimes mumsnet has me wondering whether there's a group of women who go through life convinced everyone is envious of them.

I dyed my hair from blonde to dark having been blonde for 40 years and I was almost unrecognisable. Some people didn’t say a word!

In my case they just didn’t like it but in your case, if you always go back to the same colour and style, they might not register or bother saying something.

Giving compliments has turned into a minefield because of the minority of people who find it really hard to accept them, I think. I've lost 3 stone since July and I see people noticing but most of them don't comment until I say something like "no thanks, I'm watching my weight" and then it's like I've uncorked a bottle of enthusiasm mostly starting with "I wasn't sure whether to say anything". I think it reflects the fact that lots of people don't feel great about themselves and really struggle to hear a compliment as it's meant.

Unless it's a huge change I genuinely don't notice.

I think often people just don’t notice. Sounds like you’re quite observant and you notice changes other people make, but not everyone is.

On the flip side, I often get comments on how I’ve changed my hair when I haven’t. A colleague said she liked the new colour of my hair on a Teams call the other day, I hadn’t done anything to it I think many people just aren’t super observant. I wouldn’t take it personally!

Why would anyone notice?
I know someone who had a nose job and no one said anything.