How do you stop being broody?

[Tararararara]

Just that really? Because I have no idea. I'm broody as hell, have been since DC2 was born. I knew when I had her that we weren't 'complete', however for lots of reasons, DC3 would be a bad idea, though I know it's something I'll regret not doing (but know deep down not doing is the right thing).

How do you reconcile biology with reality? DH feels similarly (DC3 is a bad idea though not unwanted). I just want to stop wanting. We won't be doing it, but it's preoccupying me!

Hold out until lockdown is over then visit a soft play centre.

I seriously could have written this myself. I don't have the answers.

You can’t. You just have to choose.

I don't think the broodiness ever properly goes away.

Urgh. Not what I wanted to hear! Thing is, the kids have been hell today, honestly one of the worst we've had, and yet I'm left wanting another!

I have the opposite problem. Never felt broody, can’t even imagine it... even when I had my baby (unplanned), I still can’t begin to imagine it. I love him and he’s brilliant and I wouldn’t not want him but I still don’t feel the baby-longing that people say they feel. What’s it like?

My H would like another but I have said he’ll have to do it with his next wife...!

I have the opposite problem. Never felt broody, can’t even imagine it... even when I had my baby (unplanned)

I think for a lot of people, they have gone through a period of wanting to be pregnant. It’s quite powerful.

I felt madly broody when I hit 40 despite having two dc and the whole thing not being a great idea for a variety of reasons.

I held tight, didn’t talk about it with friends, mentioned it a little to DP just to be sure that he didn’t feel the same and I allowed myself time/space to think about it, for me this was the commute to work, and tried not to think about it outside of that time. It’s pretty much gone away now 2 years later. I sometimes think “what if” but now in a much more balanced way.

It never goes away, but you reach the age where you know it would be dangerous to have another. Then you can’t wait for grandchildren.

Look up what you need to pay each year for the shortfall for each child who wants to go to university. That should do it!

Get a loving cat

How old are your children Op?
Why would a third be a bad idea?

There are always reasons not to have another and not enough to have one! I'm secretly hoping DH forgets to pull out one day. Haha

I feel the same way.

On one hand my children are getting older (9,4) and I’m the happiest I’ve been. Life is easy. It’s been so great we can do family days out without a baby or toddler and it’s just so nice.

But still I think “ohh I’d like another one”. But I don’t want another one. I don’t want the stress and hassle that comes with it. The attention it’ll take away from my current kids. The more money we will need to spend. I don’t want any of it at all. Yet my instinct is still pushing me to breed!

It’s normal and natural and the reason we exist so I just try to ignore it and know that I know best for me and not my instinct.

It’s hard and often then I’ll end up with another anyway 🤷‍♀️

I always wanted three children, after the second I was advised not to have any more. My youngest is six now and I'm not broody, sometimes wistful, but happy as a foursome. I think it just takes time

Winterwoollies I suspect that's why I'm finding it so hard - DC1 was unplanned, I didn't think I'd ever have kids, didn't want them. DC2 was actually very much unwanted until she was born (I considered an abortion when I found out I was pregnant). And yet now BOOM. I want DC3!

Teenagers are expensive
Teenagers are expensive
Teenagers are expensive

Has that put you off yet?

Here are some more reasons:
Friendship and bullying issues x 3
Relationship issues x 3
GCSEs x 3
A levels x 3
UCAS x 3
Support through university x 3

DaddysGirlForLife

DC1 was unplanned and DC2 unwanted. I love them both more than I could imagine but I'm not the maternal type, selfish and found motherhood hard. I got PND with DC1 and PNA with DC2, my marriage almost broke with DC1. I'm getting older and the risks increase, I'm worried about the impact a non NT child would have on our ability to cope. I'm very career focused. I'm worried about the impact on my 2 kids, the loss of 1:1 time- this is the biggest concern for me, I always felt like an inconvenience as a kid.

Thankfully, money isn't an issue.

We went ahead and had the third child BUT we had always wanted three. Our issue was more that we'd had major fertility issues after DC1 and for a long time it looked as if he would be an only child. When DC2 finally arrived after multiple fertility treatments it was amazing, but we still felt as if someone was missing and only when we finally welcomed DC3 did we feel 'done'.

If I'd never been able to have DC3 I suspect I would still be broody as hell tbh.

But in our case I'm not sure whether this was simply because both DH and I felt really strongly about having three children (I have no idea why we both felt so strongly about three being right for us, we are both one of two, but from the earliest days of our relationship we always always always talked about three being the absolute right thing for us) and so we didn't feel our family was complete until DC3 was born.

But I genuinely haven't felt broody at all since having DC3. I remember vividly lying in the post natal ward feeling suffused with absolute joy and gratitude at having him but knowing in no uncertain terms that I was 'done' in terms of babies, and haven't experienced a day's broodiness since.

That probably doesn't help you much OP, sorry, I don't know what the answer is if DC3 really isn't an option, other than to just grit your teeth and ride it out.

I think it can come and go. It seems to be especially strong around the age of 40 as you know it is your 'last chance'.

I often want more, then I remember the sleepless nights, crying, nappies, potty training etc. That can help put you off

Thankfully, money isn't an issue.

The cost of parenting teens isn't just financial.
I forgot to add that teenagers really put you through an emotional wringer. IMO teenagers need you far more on an emotional level than primary and younger age children do. I found parenting a teen very difficult, and I only had one.

You get older. It’s the only way. Then you have to reign in the desire for grandchildren becoming obvious.

Ginfordinner it's the emotional cost I'm most concerned about- my own and my kids.

I think I can live with the emotional cost of not having DC3, I just want the broodiness to end!.

Current DC are 22 months and almost 5.

I’m the same.

We have three, and were not having any more. But I’m so broody - it can be overwhelming sometimes actually.

Money isn’t an issue for us, but for many reasons four children isn’t what I want. But then I do want.

My guess is I just ignore this until it finally goes away!

HRH CherryPavlova has to reign, maybe. Freudian typo, ma'am?

Have you got two girls? Is it a third child you want or one of the opposite sex? Not critisicing just curious. I had a boy and a girl and never felt the desire to add to the brood. Id have loved more brothers and sisters for my two but realistically I don't think I could be the mother I am now if I had to divide myself so thinly between more children.