Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

How do you stop being broody?

92 replies

Tararararara · 08/11/2020 21:23

Just that really? Because I have no idea. I'm broody as hell, have been since DC2 was born. I knew when I had her that we weren't 'complete', however for lots of reasons, DC3 would be a bad idea, though I know it's something I'll regret not doing (but know deep down not doing is the right thing).

How do you reconcile biology with reality? DH feels similarly (DC3 is a bad idea though not unwanted). I just want to stop wanting. We won't be doing it, but it's preoccupying me!

OP posts:

emelsie · 08/11/2020 23:30

I think I have been broody since I was about 12 years old I had my first at 18 , not ideal financially so we then had to wait a long hard 10 years to be in the right situation to finally have our second DD, in that time I was always broody especially when I saw a newborn but it definitely came in waves and it wasn't always as intense so I just had to find lots of other stuff to focus on and as my first DD got older taking her out to do lovely days out that would be much harder with a baby and evenings with her to the cinema made me just appreciate what I had there and then.

Saying all that I'm broody again like crazy (youngest is 2) and we will be trying again for number 3 , I'm hoping that cures it I know my mum always wished she could have had more than two but felt the circumstances were not right and of course she adores her granddaughters now.

Trumplosttheelection · 08/11/2020 23:39

I had dc3. That completed our family and I've never been broody since

MsAwesomeDragon · 08/11/2020 23:40

I felt really really broody when dd2 was a toddler. I was broody enough that I considered leaving dh as he wouldn't even talk about having a third DC.

It went away, slowly. I think it took about 4 years before I'd really accepted it tbh, but it did go away. Now I'm older I can't imagine having another. I mean, if it happened then we'd have another, but it's very unlikely to happen now.

Cockadoodledooo · 08/11/2020 23:40

For me it was a miscarriage that nearly killed me which brought an end to my broodiness. It was (unplanned) dc3. It wouldn't have been ideal financially and space wise, but from the moment we knew it was loved and wanted. Wasn't to be. And the thought of my existing babies being without a mum if the same thing happened again was enough to put me of trying again.

MrsToothyBitch · 09/11/2020 00:24

I'm 30 and broody to start a family but know I should hang fire a little. When it gets really bad I make a mental to do list of things I should do to be in the best place possible, I make a mental list of stuff I'm not ready to stop or give up yet and I read threads on MN from people struggling, sad, tired or with demon offspring or partners who are or have suddenly become dickheads or reverted to childhood. I find the last option super effective.

pastaparadise · 09/11/2020 00:49

Would have loved 3, but dc2 is so high energy and demanding it took til he was 3 for me to feel remotely ready for another, by which time i felt too old (42).

I still get broody but i think what i really want is a rose tinted version of the baby days back ie my dc back to being little for a bit, rather than a whole new baby/ child. I can feel very broody when around pregnant women/ sorting out their baby things, though the thought of managing 3 bedtimes does make me shudder!

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/11/2020 00:55

I have 2 boys, 5 year age gap. When the youngest got to 5 I was desperate to have another child because I didn't feel we were "complete". There were so many massive reasons for us not to have anymore that I made the decision to stick at 2. It broke my heart and I cried a lot about it (I know that sounds ridiculous as I should be grateful for the 2 I have). I managed to talk myself out of being broody. Reminded myself of all the reasons we shouldn't, all the bad bits about having a baby etc and eventually got over it. Roll on to my youngest being 7 this month and I'm unexpectedly pregnant with number 3. I'm terrified because all those reasons we shouldn't are still here, I'm terrified of giving birth and having a baby again because the last was a nightmare and I had pretty bad pnd, I've had a dreadful pregnancy while still having to work full time and no sick days because I'm self employed we can't afford it. I do however now feel like that's me definitely done.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 09/11/2020 00:59

@Elsiebear90

I have the opposite problem, 30 years old, planning to have a baby in the next few years and I don’t feel broody at all, never have and I’m not sure why?

So don't have a baby.

StoneFacedCrone · 09/11/2020 01:08

I found the change of hormones that came with the menopause remarkably effective. No broodiness for my own or grandchildren. Tbh, a child with emotional difficulties, on the spectrum, was so draining that there was no room left to want more babies even before the menopause.

Winterwoollies · 09/11/2020 06:36

@Ginfordinner

Why do some women feel broody and others don't?

I don’t know. I’ve been on the receiving end of cruel comments about it, though.

Winterwoollies · 09/11/2020 06:42

@Elsiebear90

I have the opposite problem, 30 years old, planning to have a baby in the next few years and I don’t feel broody at all, never have and I’m not sure why?

I was like this; planning on staying child free but also worried that if I didn’t have a kid I’d regret it. But also not prepared to say ‘let’s do it’. And then I found out I was pregnant and it knocked me for six. We decided to go for it and the pregnancy was hard because I was overwhelmed. But then it wasn’t so hard anymore and I enjoyed being pregnant. And then my baby came and I realised I really wanted him to be there. I’m not a natural mother but I am enjoying it and wouldn’t change it. Don’t worry that you can’t or shouldn’t do it because you don’t have those intense primal urges.

ShayAndBlueSeeker · 09/11/2020 06:46

Set an alarm for midnight, 2am, 4am and 6am. Every night for a week. Put the alarm in another room. Give yourself a task to do at each alarm I would love another baby during the day. At night.... Not a chance!

nailsathome · 09/11/2020 07:15

I have 4. My last pregnancy was HG and nearly killed me with HELLPs. But I'd keep going if I could. My husband has had the snip to stop me from even trying!

Ginfordinner · 09/11/2020 07:50

People are being crule about your lack of broodiness @Winterwoollies?

Why?

I must admit that I have never, ever in my life felt broody. To me it as much of an alien feeling as wanting a pet dinosaur.

When I was told that having a successful pregnancy was extremely unlikely I didn't see it as the end of the world, but as a world of new opportunities opening up to me. So I worked, travelled, did what I wanted to when I wanted to.

Then, boom, I got pregnant at 41. DD is a very much wanted and loved child. The only reason I considered a second was for her to have a sibling not because I wanted another. It didn't happen so that was that.

I admit though that I found the transition to parenthood very hard, and isolating, and that is why when women feel broody for their 5th or 6th child I am completely baffled. I guess I just prefer a quiet, ordered life to chaos.

Ginfordinner · 09/11/2020 07:51

And women who still want to continue having babies when it puts their health at risk baffle me even more. Sorry @nailsathome.

Winterwoollies · 09/11/2020 08:26

@Ginfordinner it was mainly my in laws asking me why I didn’t realise that without children, life had no meaning, and how selfish I was for not procreating (never understood that one) and how unfair I was being to their son... ugh.

Winterwoollies · 09/11/2020 08:33

But actually plenty of girlfriends just said I was lying because they couldn’t imagine not feeling like it.

Sunflowergirl1 · 09/11/2020 08:36

My friend was exactly the same...said no but in the end gave in to her broodyness and had another. What she was sad at was the then big gap between no 2 and 3 and then thought she should have a 4th as number 3 will be alone!!

There is no magic answer

Fischliweiss · 09/11/2020 08:56

@Winterwoollies

But actually plenty of girlfriends just said I was lying because they couldn’t imagine not feeling like it.

I don't want children and totally understand not feeling broody. I'm really with interest but this is a completely foreigne feeling to me.

BessMarvin · 09/11/2020 09:27

I wasn't broody till mid 30s. Now I'm early 40s with 2 and feel a bit broody. I have to listen to my brain though. Pressing reset again would be terrible for my mental health. I love them and don't regret them but it's so hard at the beginning and only beginning to feel manageable when first one was 3. Wanting a 3rd is definitely a hormonal thing for me.

Snog · 09/11/2020 09:52

Breed pedigree dogs?

starsinyourpies · 09/11/2020 10:05

Am pregnant with 2DC and working full time. I feel like shit and although this baby very much wanted we will be far worse off financially. So it's not all rosy!

Woolly17 · 09/11/2020 10:19

I have a three yr old and a one yr old and I'm so broody it's ridiculous. But I'm also old (44 early next yr) and the DH is in his 50s. Oh it took us so long to have our first (six years including ivf) and the second was an incredible surprise. So I should be grateful for what I have but still ...

MyFuzzyBoy · 09/11/2020 10:20

I have four children. The bloodiness certainly has vanished.

Figgygal · 09/11/2020 10:21

I’m 39 and definitely feel the biological clock screaming at me that there is still time have another one but I know in my head and my heart that I do not want a 3rd and all that that would entail and compromise.

Got a dog instead

Flip

1 2 3 4