To think that, unless you know the kitchen they were made in is very clean, homemade edible gifts go straight in the bin

[Bearbehind]

Especially this year

Given we’re sanitising things we touch and are ultra conscious about the spread of germs etc - AIBU to think that if you get edible gifts from someone’s who’s kitchen you either don’t know or don’t think is very clean - you’d just bin it?

I’m not saying you can catch Covid from the food but it’s the principle of not knowing how hygenic stuff is

I’m not a fan of homemade gifts at the best of times - I think a sort of rule should be that unless your homemade items are good enough to sell for actual money, then please don’t do it

No one is going to admit they binned it but I do hope those who would make homemade edible gifts, especially for teachers, this year think twice

I’m not even particularly squeamish but I never eat homemade food or drink items, nor would I purchase them at a fayre or similar 🤢

• from people I don’t know

The thought of someone thinking about what I might like, buying ingredients/materials, spending time designing/making it, brings me far more pleasure than a gift that thousands of other people will have.

That’s very rarely true though is it - homemade gifts are usually the same for everyone and are something the giver wants to do rather than tailored to the recipient

I think life must be quite a worry if you can’t even enjoy a bit of jam that your friend has made.

How rude and ungrateful

@FlyNow

Oh bless you OP, for thinking restaurants are any different.

My thoughts exactly. They’re much worse!

@Therollockingrogue

Haha I’m with you op. It’s dreadful and I’m ashamed of myself. I can probably guarantee that every gift giver has a cleaner kitchen than mine. Still ... jars of preserves/ home baked cakes/ even the home cooked meals my lovely neighbours brought after I’d given birth. All in the bin :( I just can’t do it. It’s psychological. I probably need therapy. And no... before you ask, I can barely eat out either, and can’t even really do shop bought sandwiches. I’m always amazed at grown ups eating the cakes at school bake sales I can’t imagine there’d ever EVER be a day where I could manage that.

You don't sound ashamed of yourself, you sound congratulatory of your 'discernment'.

Same suggestion for you. Tell your neighbours not to bother making things for you because you can't/won't eat them and they'll go in the bin.

I'm amazed there are adults this selfish who actually allow others to prepare things for them when behind the giver's back, the plan is always to throw in the bin. Pathetic and wasteful.

I’m upfront about it. But people assume it’s a cleanliness thing. And then conclude that it doesn’t apply to them because their home is really clean.
It isn’t that though. I can’t explain it, I’m not a germophobe at all.

My husband has a special term for unwelcome homemade baked goods: ‘stranger cakes’. It never bothered me until I met him, and now I can’t go to a bake sale without imagining baked-in hairs and grubby toddler fingerprints 🤢

I never eat anything which I know must have been handled a lot by the cook/baker etc. Pastry items or biscuits may look tasty but I won't eat them. The kitchen itself may be sparkly clean but the hands may well not be. I have had countless sandwiches made for me by family members and I know they didn't wash their hands first but who does if they are honest? I do of course, every time if making something for guests but for myself I don't. I happily eat my own germs after scratching myself.

My brother called me a paranoid airyfairy once because I was at his and he was stirring a pot of curry and I caught him double dipping while I was standing next to him at the cooker. I asked him not to do it and he thought I was being stupid. Even after I explained my reasoning he just rolled his eyes at me and I have to say the curry was delicious but I had to force myself to eat it as didn't want a full scale family row.

@Bearbehind

The fact you'll not just chuck/charity shop a lovingly made gift because it's not up to your standards

It’s nothing to do with that item not being up to standard - I just don’t like them so why would I keep them?

I’ve said I ask people not to give me anything

Then you need to let them know it also includes homemade items. You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth.

@Therollockingrogue

I’m upfront about it. But people assume it’s a cleanliness thing. And then conclude that it doesn’t apply to them because their home is really clean. It isn’t that though. I can’t explain it, I’m not a germophobe at all.

You tell these people - upfront and beforehand - that said item will go straight in the bin? And it's still a problem because they keep doing it/giving these things to you?

That I don't believe.

If it's food I like I'll eat it. It always amazes me that people will eat the insides of a dead animal and then squeal about a possible bit of dirt in food. I say that as a meat eater.
When you think about what food really is and where it's come from, you care a lot less about what it might have touched along the way.

Uh nope... I'm just grateful for the thoughtfulness of any such gift.

And honestly, anyone else's kitchen is probably more 'hygenic' than mine!

Op do you have ocd? Its understandable to feel this way with ocd. I have severe ocd and was exactly like this for a large part of my life, very extreme, wouldn't eat food anyone had touched, wouldnt eat food from anyone elses kitchen, wouldn't eat in restaurants, would change my clothes and shower several times a day would wash my hands millions of times and had to wash them several times over the course of one meal so i do fully get people can be extreme with these things. However as a pp mentioned her dh having an auto immune disease possibly caused by his mothers obsessibe hygiene that research actually helped me. If you have ocd its tough not to think the absolute worst over stuff you dont know how its been made.

However this thread is making me crave home made brownies and as i cant bake would it be bad for me to text workmate who lives 15 mins away from me and bank transfer her some money to bake me some?

Also restaurants and take aways arent always clean. Guarantee you look uo the hygiene rating of ten of your locals now and see their ratings.

Personally I’m always delighted on the rare occasion I receive something homemade and don’t for one minute ponder the givers kitchen hygiene . Covid makes no difference to me and I don’t sanitise anything or clean my house more regularly . Sure I wash my hands with soap prior to eating / preparing food . Yes I change my clothes and shower getting in from work ( NHS ) but that was my norm precovid . I would regard your approach as bonkers .

Then you need to let them know it also includes homemade items. You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth.

If I tell someone I don’t want gifts I expect them to realise that doesn’t mean I want them to make me something instead

I’m guessing you’re a homemade gift giver lookfortheheros

Perhaps you could have a lanyard? Warning people that anything they give you will go straight in the bin.

The number of people who seem to be afflicted with this, perhaps there's a business opportunity for these?

This year my garden produced an excess of fruit & veg so I stacked the spare in boxes and put them by the gate. Since then I've had jars of jam, pickles, chutneys and a fabulous tarte Tatin left on my doorstep by people who helped themselves.

All have been delicious. We've enjoyed them with no ill effects. I have good neighbours, we swap eggs and produce all the time.

I'm so glad I don't live in a city anymore.

Kind of with you OP. I don't tend to eat them either. People can be pretty rank in their homes. I've seen friends nip to the loo, give their hands a quick rinse then get back to kneading bread.... no thanks.

Mintjulia how lovely .

You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth.
The vast majority of items gifted in the uk go into the bin or to the charity shop, usually with a detour to a closet/under the stairs/garage.
Nobody admits to is, and anybody doing so is considered rude.
Also, asking for “no gifts please” usually means you get even more crap, or (worse) money as people don’t give because the receiver would like something, but because they want /feel obliged to give something.

Nah I'm not fussed, I'll eat anything 😂

A colleague makes cookies and I've been reliably informed their house is questionable but I still eat them because they're delicious!

I might be more cautious if it was meat or something high risk of food poisoning like that but I'm veggie and it's not as likely so I don't worry. Send it my way

@Bearbehind

Then you need to let them know it also includes homemade items. You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth.

If I tell someone I don’t want gifts I expect them to realise that doesn’t mean I want them to make me something instead

I’m guessing you’re a homemade gift giver lookfortheheros

Would it really never cross your mind that people interpret your dishonest comment as Oh, "Bearbehind doesn't want a gift... she might think we have better things to spend our money on and is trying to be nice. Let's make her something personal instead."

If you were honest about the destination of the gift, the problem would go away, instantly.