To think that, unless you know the kitchen they were made in is very clean, homemade edible gifts go straight in the bin

[Bearbehind]

Especially this year

Given we’re sanitising things we touch and are ultra conscious about the spread of germs etc - AIBU to think that if you get edible gifts from someone’s who’s kitchen you either don’t know or don’t think is very clean - you’d just bin it?

I’m not saying you can catch Covid from the food but it’s the principle of not knowing how hygenic stuff is

I’m not a fan of homemade gifts at the best of times - I think a sort of rule should be that unless your homemade items are good enough to sell for actual money, then please don’t do it

No one is going to admit they binned it but I do hope those who would make homemade edible gifts, especially for teachers, this year think twice

My neighbour once gave me a pot of homemade Christmas chutney. I appreciated the sentiment. It was a sweet thing to do. But a few days earlier, I had walked past the window of his flat and unexpectedly caught sight of him enjoying himself in the company of 'Mrs Palm and her five beautiful daughters'! And because I couldn't be sure whether he had washed his hands thoroughly before preparing the chutney, I couldn't quite face eating it. Still, it would have been a shame to have just binned it, so I regifted it to my very fastidious mother instead!!

I’m grateful for the gift though. It’s exactly the same level of gratefulness as if that person had given me a bottle of my fave perfume/ beautiful piece of jewellery/ thing of desire.
I think how kind, how generous, how wonderful they are etc etc. I just can’t eat it. It’s like when grandma gets a bad jumper. Luckily I have a large family so generally someone else will polish off the edibles. But it will never be me.

lyin I guarantee no one would say - if you give me a gift I’ll put it in the bin

Can you not understand that if someone says they don’t want anything then please don’t give them anything

I eat whatever free food I'm given!!!!!! I wouldn't this year, though.

I love the fake naivety on these threads.

Commercial food? sterile
Home-made food? full of germs

You do know what is being used to grow your fruits and vegetables, don't you? And what is in the compost you buy for your own produce let alone the left over from the pet buried by your neighbour next to your plot

And god forbid you ever have a good look at warehouse, trolleys, staff who handles food, or even the fact that the waiter carrying your pristine plate just scratched his bum and use a questionable piece of clothing to wipe a bit of sauce

and don't get started on the lip balm you are using, and everything you touch outside, even your car handle

People like you really crack me up. A bit like these posters who are completely anonymous on MN but can be recognised as soon as the thread is on twitter, facebook or the DM.

@Bearbehind

Then you need to let them know it also includes homemade items. You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth.

If I tell someone I don’t want gifts I expect them to realise that doesn’t mean I want them to make me something instead

I’m guessing you’re a homemade gift giver lookfortheheros

I have given homemade gifts in the past, yes. I made my new niece some bunting for her bedroom. I have never seen it being used. When I asked about it I was told they lost it. They were lying. It wasn't hard to tell. I asked them politely to tell me if they didn't like it. It's fine. I won't be offended. I'd rather know and not put myself through the ordeal of making it and put them through the ordeal of being embarrassed by my present and having to make up a story.

I have made food items in the past too. All eaten in front of me. I assume everyone liked it. I would feel bad if they didn't. I don't want to inflict such awful feelings on people. I only want to make others happy.

It's hard when people don't listen to you. I'm sorry your friends and family don't hear what you are saying and instead assume you mean something else.

I would go all out this year and let people know once and for all that you do not want any presents and that all presents will be donated!/binned. I am sure they will listen then. Good luck with it all. I hope your Christmas is a happy one especially in all this mess the world is in.

God I love how heated threads about homemade gifts get. Surely once you’ve given something away, you cede control over what happens to it. If you give someone a cake they didn’t ask for, you can’t insist that they eat it. If the idea of this drives you crazy with indignation, stop giving gifts!

Hmmm I dont think you can catch covid this way but you can definitely get an iffy belly from food prepared in a dirty kitchen.

Bearbehind, they would. I would. If I felt as you did, I would tell them. If I thought that I needed to save face, I'd tell them I have OCD and can't accept anything from anybody... that everything goes in the bin and I can't help it.

I think you need to be more honest with people so that they can stop allocating things for you since they give you gifts regardless. Perhaps it's Christmas gone made but gift-giving is what it's about.

You obviously feel strongly enough about it to start a thread and many of us have said to tell the truth, do it compassionately. Give it a try, what's to lose?

@ohnothisagain

You really want nothing. Tell them it will go in the bin/to charity if you do get something. Again, Tell the truth. The vast majority of items gifted in the uk go into the bin or to the charity shop, usually with a detour to a closet/under the stairs/garage. Nobody admits to is, and anybody doing so is considered rude. Also, asking for “no gifts please” usually means you get even more crap, or (worse) money as people don’t give because the receiver would like something, but because they want /feel obliged to give something.

This very sad. What a waste of time, money, energy and the world resources.

I really struggle to eat homemade food even though I'm fine ordering in restaurants - I have no idea why.

I suspect it's partly to do with my ASD - I'm quite rigid in my thinking and if I get an idea in my head (that something is going to be unpleasant, for example) I can't just overcome it.

I used to work somewhere where people brought in homemade cakes but I never touched them. Same with cake sales or school fetes. The idea just gives me the heebie jeebies even though I know it's totally irrational. Luckily DH is a human dustbin and will eat anything

It's hard when people don't listen to you. I'm sorry your friends and family don't hear what you are saying and instead assume you mean something else

FGS - it’s people like you who aren’t listening

You are so insistent the others should love whatever you decide to make for them you can’t even accept it when you have conclusive proof (the bunting) that you are wasting everyone’s time

Can you not understand that if someone says they don’t want anything then please don’t give them anything
That's different. You are totally reasonable to request no gifts and then be pissed off when you get gifts. I'm completely with you on that. I am very clear on no gifts and get upset when that isn't requested.

You're still being way OTT on chucking away food just because it's homemade. Not joining in any communal cake brought into the office, not eating at anyone else's house is silly.

@Bearbehind I truly hope I do not know you as I think you are truly paranoid about the ppl trying to support you.

Wow you're not only paranoid but incredibly rude!

I hope the poster that made those mittens doesn't see what you wrote. They would have taken a very long time and no doubt they are personalised to the person who will receive them with gratitude not a stick up their arse

don;t all the "eeew, chuck it away"-ers ever go to other people's for dinner??

@BombyliusMajor

God I love how heated threads about homemade gifts get. Surely once you’ve given something away, you cede control over what happens to it. If you give someone a cake they didn’t ask for, you can’t insist that they eat it. If the idea of this drives you crazy with indignation, stop giving gifts!

I had no idea that people did throw homemade gifts in the bin. It's really bad manners to do that but, people are what they are. Why start a thread telling everybody else to follow suit?

I make dinner for my next door neighbour quite often. If I thought she was chucking it out then I'd be happy not to do it... no offence taken, saves me a job - but I'd appreciate the head's up.

I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat at other peoples houses - it would just only be people who’s kitchen was clean

And I’m pretty sure communal office food is pretty much a thing of the past now - for good reason

@Bearbehind

I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat at other peoples houses - it would just only be people who’s kitchen was clean

And I’m pretty sure communal office food is pretty much a thing of the past now - for good reason

I wouldn't bet on that, when all this is over I'd bet good money that the food is back in our office!

And I’m pretty sure communal office food is pretty much a thing of the past now - for good reason
I don't think so. If my office ever actually gets back in I imagine a cake day will be pretty quickly organised and 90% of people will cheerfully join in.

I'm happy for me and the family to eat home made food generally (think of all those primary school bake sales) but I really don't like the idea of incredibly fancy cakes with moulded icing, petals and flowers and what not. All of that has been handled at length and not cooked afterwards ... no thanks!

@Bearbehind

I didn’t say I wouldn’t eat at other peoples houses - it would just only be people who’s kitchen was clean

And I’m pretty sure communal office food is pretty much a thing of the past now - for good reason

HOW do you know the kitchen is clean, that's what I want to know

Do you request a tour before accepting an invitation?
Do you insist on being around when people are cooking that day to check what they are doing?

@Bearbehind

It's hard when people don't listen to you. I'm sorry your friends and family don't hear what you are saying and instead assume you mean something else

FGS - it’s people like you who aren’t listening

You are so insistent the others should love whatever you decide to make for them you can’t even accept it when you have conclusive proof (the bunting) that you are wasting everyone’s time

I would never insist that people love what I have made them. I never have insisted that. The only thing I insist is the truth. If they don't like it. It's fine. I'm not offended. But I won't know not to make them something again unless they let me know its not something they like.

I thought they would like the bunting. But I got it wrong. And that's OK. I haven't made them something again as I realise I can't make them something to their taste. Again, that's OK.

I would hate to waste people's time. And I would hate for people to waste mine. That's why the truth is so important.

Covid will have to be a dim and distant memory before any responsible employer allows the sharing of food in an office - it’s simply not worth the risk as it stands

I think anyone who would do this is lacking in the common sense department.