To ask the things your DH/DW/DP does that irrationally annoy you (lighthearted)

[WilsonMilson]

This is lighthearted as I love DH to bits, he’s an all round good human being. But my God, he doesn’t half grate on my nerves at times....

The endless throat clearing when on a call to someone. WFH has made this far more noticeable. I have no idea why the recipients of his calls must think, it is truly endless.

The need to spend ages getting changed into proper walking trousers and hiking boots for even the shortest 20 min walk around the village, as if we are going on a Bear Grylls type outward bound expedition.

I really could go on, but these just came to mind. AIBU to ask the little things that get on your nerves...I’m not looking for any LTB type things, just the idiosyncrasies that we put up with but secretly roll our eyes at!

The loud sneezes. I’m sure you can all hear them, wherever you are in the world.

Not putting the cap back on milk/juice properly so when I give it a shake to drink it I get covered. N he doesn't do it all the time, maybe 25% so I'm lulled into a false sense of security 😬

Saying “say again” after literally every sentence l say. Even though he heard perfectly well.

Me: looks like rain
DH: say again
Me:
DH: better take an umbrella then.

Every. Single. Time.

He says penguens.

Drives me nuts!

Puts dishes on top of the dishwasher rather than in it 🙄

DH uses my hairbrush. Now in lots of ways I don’t mind; he washes his hair daily, doesn’t use any product on his hair and he hasn’t got nits!
However what gets my goat is that he wanders around the house with the hairbrush and puts it down wherever he is. So I might find it in the lounge, kitchen or bathroom, anywhere but on my dressing table where it should live.

Leaving cupboard doors open ready for me to walk into.

Starting DIY jobs and giving up halfway through, leaving tools, sandpaper nails anywhere and everywhere but where they should be.

Not wanting anyone to use the phone whilst Tottenham are playing in case Jose needs to call him for advice (I may have made that one up but the player instructions he shouts at the tv leads me to believe he thinks he should be manager 😂)

After 45 years of being a normal human being he has suddenly started doing quotation marks with his fingers when talking. Can I "bury" him under the "patio"?

@Ejb86

He says penguens.

Drives me nuts!

Are you married to Benedict Cumberpatch? 😉

When he is on a work call in the spare bedroom I can hear every word he says from the other end of the house. But when he’s talking to me in the same room, he mumbles and I can’t make out half of it.

Runs his lips together when they're too dry so it makes an awful creaking sound.

Says cheesus instead of Jesus!! It drives me nuts 😂😂

Puts his dirty washing next to the washing basket rather than in it, and looking at his phone when he's just asked me a question, then saying sorry I didn't hear you say it again. Of course you didn't hear me you weren't paying attention you twat!

I'm certain that DH would have more complaints about me than I do about him though.

Mine is DD. The way she decides to eat an apple with maximum sound effects at the precise moment I want to watch something (not that often).

Horrid throat clearing sound. Often in shower, but often not. It goes right through me.
Then snorting when he needs to blow his nose and doesn't have a tissue/hanky. Usually in bed. When I cringe and explode 'please can you just use a tissue?' he puts on a very wounded voice 'well I would if I had tissues on my bedside table, but they're on yours'.
Several poos a day that take at least 20 minutes. When I question the time, the wounded voice is back 'I was doing a poo, it takes time'. Well I bet he's not on the loo at work for that long!

He expects me to put glasses in the dishwasher rather than making various ‘arty’ displays with them around the flat.

Talks when I’m watching something on TV, then goes “who is he?” “Whats happening” “what was that?” If you watch it and keep your mouth shut you’ll know whats going on.

I once jokingly asked what things I do that irritate him, he required no thinking name and immediately started reeling off a list 😂

DH is a really, really noisy eater. I have misophonia so mouth noises bother me at the best of times, but if he’s not chomping like a horse with a cabbage he’s rattling his fork on his teeth.

A few weeks ago he came to bed really late (around 2am) and for some unholy reason he decided to grab a handful of almonds on his way up the stairs. He woke me up getting into bed and then lay there CRUNCHING FUCKING NUTS in the dark

Asks me to look at a web page with him then starts scrolling the second I clap eyes on the screen. Holds the tv remote while watching tv so the red cursor bobs constantly around the screen as he moves. Explains things to me that I told him. Tells me how to do my hobby which I've done for 4 years and he's never done. Constantly mansplains the news.

Good job I luffs him!

The faffing. I'm going to patio him one day because of it. Leaving the house takes so fucking long.

I remember we'd just moved into our house and there were bags and boxes everywhere. I was in advanced stages of labour; waters had gone, strong frequent contractions. We were waiting for MIL to arrive to have DD so we could go to the hospital (we only just made it, DS arrived 15 minutes after got there). I asked DH to put something plastic on the sofa so I could sit down without getting waters on it. No idea which box the bin liners were in. He selected a big bag of stuff and started to unpack it!! Carefully considering where to place each item, until I screamed at him to
HOOF IT ON THE FUCKING FLOOR

He drinks my water.

Every night I get myself a glass of water. Every night I ask if he would like one. Every night he says no. And every morning he asks for some of my water!!!

Crap Simpson’s phrases I ignore now.

He almost certainly has more complaints about me, but...

The putting the dried pots and pans on the hob rather than in the cupboard.

The endless moaning. We don't currently live together although previously have, so at my place it's the internet connection, basement flat and prevalence of dog hair which provoke the most comment.

Only eating smoked salmon or deli meats for breakfast (we must all eat like kings... he once said "my parents didn't come to this country for me to worry about the grocery bill" which made me giggle - I am happy with muesli 99% of the time)

Telling me I'm working class (I'm first in my family to go to uni but my parents sent me to a private school and it's not really something I think about!)

Punctuates his conversation with "In actuality", I've managed to convince him it makes him sound like a knob, so now every time he starts to say it he pauses and says "In truth". Sigh.

He changes clothes several times a day, every day- even work days. Wont wear jeans unless leaving house, takes off immediately when returning home.
Cannot leave house without having a just in case pee, and cannot be without a drink at all times...
Including funerals.
Then leaves allll the bottles from said drinks in car, with two sips taken, wont finish as not 'fresh'

It makes me crazy