About DS and Father Christmas

[Bbub]

DS is about to turn 7 and said to me today while watching a Christmas film that he doesn't think Santa is real and he wants to stay up all night to see him because he doesn't believe it... I just said "when I was little I tried to stay up too but I fell asleep" and tried not to get into it.

Then he said "well he did eat the cookies we left for him... But you probably ate those and the carrot!" and I just brushed it off again.

What age did your kids realise?

Is it too early to let Santa go? Am I a miserable old bag for not putting more effort in to keep the fantasy going?

I think I probably am, but I was caught off guard

I asked 9 yo DD who believed until last year.

She says to carry it on for another year!

@D4rwin

I never bothered with the whole Santa crap.

you sound fun

Anybody over the age of 10 saying they believe are doing it for the parents benefit. Or maybe they are worried they won’t get any or as much presents. Beside special needs obviously. Unless they are maybe homeschooled with no access to the outside world.

@Ohalrightthen Exactly so age 10 or 11 is fine (Year 6)

My kids and their friends never got the pissed ripped out of them. It seems to me that on MN you have to stop believing by he time you're 2 or 3 or is soooo embarrassing 😒

Whatever, most kids I know were at least 9 or 10 which is the perfect age to me. Then you get 5 or 6 years of the proper magic of Christmas.

Ah, I wish mine were still young... 🌲🎄🎁🎁🎄🌲

Dd2 told dd1! They were 9 and 11 (dd1 was getting excited and Dd2 told her to stop being so stupid, Dd2 said she realised by 7 but didn't say anything)

It’s about a year before my DD realised, but her friends were later at about 9/10. I’d try to eek it out for another year if I was you.
I got flamed on a similar thread for suggesting surely older kids (12) could think this scenario through and realise for themselves.

[quote MrsJBaptiste]@Ohalrightthen Exactly so age 10 or 11 is fine (Year 6)

My kids and their friends never got the pissed ripped out of them. It seems to me that on MN you have to stop believing by he time you're 2 or 3 or is soooo embarrassing 😒

Whatever, most kids I know were at least 9 or 10 which is the perfect age to me. Then you get 5 or 6 years of the proper magic of Christmas.

Ah, I wish mine were still young... 🌲🎄🎁🎁🎄🌲[/quote]
I dunno about that, i stopped believing at just turned 6 (joined in pretending with my mum and dad for my baby sister for a few years) and by the time we were 8 or so pretty much no one in school believed it. I remember one girl INSISTING Father Christmas was real during our yr 5 play, she was so embarrassed, i still remember how bad i felt for her.

IME if you need Father Christmas to make the holiday magical, you're doing it wrong. Christmas should be about sharing moments with your loved ones, not Santa. It's been my favourite holiday all my life, and i barely remember believing in Father Christmas.

I'm 39 and my mum still refuses to admit Santa doesn't exist

I agree with Ohalrightthen who has a sensible attitude towards it all.

I think it's parents who make such a thing out of Santa and kids go along with it to please them.

@Nottherealslimshady

Dont say that santa doesn't exist but also dint actively lie to him. If he wants to stay up and sleep on the sofa then he can, he'll fall asleep eventually, or tell him that the legend says that Santa knows you're awake and doesn't come until you're asleep.

I agree don't say anything either way. My memory of childhood is of knowing Santa wasn't....you know real.....but not having said it out loud, and was still really able to get into the imaginative make believe part of it. It's a natural process. I might have believed once, I can't ever remember that, and eventually the make believe part wore off, but in between I think even children who have doubts can really enjoy it, more than if you just say 'it's not true'.

Unless he is quite a literal child and gets upset if misled in any way, DB was more like that and actually had to get a definite answer on it.

Don’t children work out about all the magical entities at the same time? Easter bunny, tooth fairy, Father Christmas, ghouls, witches etc?
I’ve never had any of mine categorically say they don’t believe, more that it would be nice if they ‘were’ real. We love all fantasy/myths here.

Tell him the truth.

I think it just fizzled out in our house and they just played along.

Didn't lie but when asked said if santa exists said if it's us buying your present there's noway we could afford that much and you wouldn't get that much (sounds terrible when you write it down).
Both kids straight onto norad track santa Blatenly taking the piss and playing along .

I remember becoming aware of my parents doing christmas presents after I had gone to bed, when I was about 8 or so. It didnt bother me, we never had this conversation about "not believing", siblings and I just continued to play along and it just sort of lapsed gradually. I don't think that's unusual.

Oh and I've never heard of kids getting laughed at for believing.my niece is y6 and still "believes" or plays along with the fun, her friends do too, they love it.

I printed off something very similar to this to give my kids when they started to realise that there was no Santa. I felt it was a lovely way to keep the magic alive.

www.google.co.uk/search?q=Printable+letter+explaining+Santa&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en-gb&client=safari

he doesn't think Santa is real and he wants to stay up all night to see him because he doesn't believe it.

But Santa doesn’t come unless you’re asleep!

Personally, I wouldn’t lie, but wouldn’t confirm either. The magic of Father Christmas can then fizzle out gradually. I wanted to tell my children the truth from the get-go, but their dad persuaded me otherwise and I’ve no regrets.

You could say this:

"When I was a child I so enjoyed Father Christmas coming and I was really excited about it, it was magical. Now I'm your mum, I love you so much and I wanted to give you this lovely experience at Christmas while you are little."

This is how my American friend explained it to her son when he told her he didn't believe any more and felt distrustful. She wanted to be honest with him, and also didn't want him to tell the younger children. She knew her son would rather know the truth from her. FC still came and they became complicit about it.

My oldest started having doubts at 6 when she wrote on her Christmas list that all she wanted was for her daddy to come home for Christmas (he was too busy having fun in Thailand with his latest girlfriend) and obviously I couldn't make that happen. I pulled out all the stops for the next 2 years - jingle bells outside the door after I'd set the presents up, snowy footprints, lost button and a follow up phone call etc but the Christmas after she turned 8 she told me she'd known "for a while". We still do all the Santa stuff though even though she knows it's not real and the babys too young to understand one way or another, wouldnt feel like Christmas without it

Last year shortly before Christmas my dd then 11, asked me if Santa was real. I thought it was time to tell her no. She was not happy and was looking for reassurance he was real. She then announced about a week later she still believed and we had one last Christmas, where the big man brought gifts.

What I’m saying is be careful what you say now. Personally I’d try and be evasive as you have. Dd came home from school when she was your ds’s age saying a boy had told her he wasn’t real. At the time, I brushed it off and agreed with her that he was wrong. Some people tell their children that if you don’t believe maybe you won’t get gifts.

I never push the big FC. If the kids believe in him then great, I'll go along with it because it's lovely, but I'm not going to sit there making up stories to try and convince them if they're questioning it.

If he asks you outright, would you feel comfortable lying to him? What might the impact of not telling him the truth be?

To the pp who puts glitter up the stairs, you seriously want to vacuum that environmentally disastrous crap up on Christmas morning!!!

When DD’2 was 7 she actually ate the mince pie dd1 9 had put out for fc as she was still up and coming to midnight mass with me. She never really believed whereas dd1 still believed after we’d told her otherwise. Dd1 always had a very active imagination whereas dd2 is more scientific and logical. It in no way impacts on intelligence and critical thinking as dd1 is now training to be a solicitor.

Thinking about it now, once we hit Christmas Day they both always thanked us for all the gifts even the fc one.

@MaskingForIt critical reasoning is all very well, but I still get a stocking now and I am nearly 36. Nothing wrong with an oral tradition made flesh, and the years of believing in magic are so fleeting. Wanting Christmas to be extra special (especially this year) is hardly indicative of low intelligence. Children have the rest of their lives to be confronted with cold hard facts after all

6/7 seems so young :(

Let them enjoy for primary school

But tell them before start secondary school so aug time to prepare if they still believe