About DS and Father Christmas

[Bbub]

DS is about to turn 7 and said to me today while watching a Christmas film that he doesn't think Santa is real and he wants to stay up all night to see him because he doesn't believe it... I just said "when I was little I tried to stay up too but I fell asleep" and tried not to get into it.

Then he said "well he did eat the cookies we left for him... But you probably ate those and the carrot!" and I just brushed it off again.

What age did your kids realise?

Is it too early to let Santa go? Am I a miserable old bag for not putting more effort in to keep the fantasy going?

I think I probably am, but I was caught off guard

If a 5 /6 year old can not believe in the magic of Father Christmas I think that’s really sad.
If they ask, my answer was yes he’s magic and they believe again, I used to explain the Santa’s in shops / school fairs etc are not real they are just helping out as he’s busy making the toys.

I know we are all different, quite few friends never did the Santa thing at all - not because of cultural reasons just they did not want him to get the glory for the presents - never understood that attitude.... I had a magical childhood believing in Father Christmas and wanted my children to have the same thing.

One thing though, If any of you do spill the beans please do not let them be the child who goes into school to try and spoil it for all the other young children who do still believe.

jessstan1 Sat 07-Nov-20 22:01:52
“He's about the right age for not believing the myth any more. Just tell him it's fun to pretend but don't lie to him.”

At 6 ! Where do you live ? Everyone I know’s children definitely believed at 6 unless as I suggested the parents/ siblings told them.

But that’s a great example, we are all different and there is no one correct answer.
One thing for sure they will not believe forever so it’s nice for them as long as it lasts.

My 11 yo still believes. I think its heartbreaking for 7yos to not believe.
Tooth fairy too.

They've had questions but I've reassured them.
We feel sad for children who don't believe as santas doesnt come to them.
Santa is a big deal here. Magic dust (glitter) all over fireplace and he (I) trails it up the stairs where he goes to fill their stockings to brimming with toys and goodies. To deny that to a 5,6 7,8 or 9yo hurts my heart.
Your young child is just looking for reassurance.

Kids can all google these days once they're old enough, they're probably all typing in 'is Santa real?' Just let it happen, don't make a big deal of saying he's real and you must believe, it is what it is.

I'd be worried if they were still believing at 8 or 9!

There’s no way an 11 year old still believes, they are telling you they still believe, that’s all.

We told our DC that Father Christmas in shops etc is someone dressed up but the real Father Christmas only comes on Christmas Eve. I think this made it believable until they were about 8. They’re now teenagers. We’ve never actually discussed him not existing and he still brings them presents but they roll their eyes while leaving a carrot and mince pie on the hearth nowadays

@D4rwin

I never bothered with the whole Santa crap.

Me neither. Left it open for DD to believe or not but she never did. Just played along elsewhere (school/family/strangers in the street) like it was a story.

Just had a very in depth conversation at her insistence about the in-likeliness of any of the gods she has studied at school being real due to the scientific limitations. She’s 10 and she’s had this level of critical thinking skills for years! It’s scary.

I reckon most the older ones that apparently still believe have it sussed, but are worried that they will get less presents if they let on. It's what I did as a kid.

Why spoil the magic? Let kids be kids for goodness sake. My eldest is 10 and no longer believes in the tooth fairy so I’ve told the truth there but she keeps it going for my youngest. She asked if Santa was real about a week ago and I said ‘what do you want to believe?’ and she chooses to believe he is. Though I’m sure she knows the truth who am I to burst her bubble if she wants to magic to continue? Childhood is so short.

My children worked it out when they were 6ish.
I made them promise not to tell their siblings even though they may have known the secret
With dc3 he said "If Father Christmas was real then children in poor countries would get loads of stuff including food while kids in rich countries would only get one or two things " which is hard to argue with.
We were upfront from the beginning that Father Christmases in grottos etc were actors spreading spirit as the real one was busy all year.

@Crystal90567

My 11 yo still believes. I think its heartbreaking for 7yos to not believe. Tooth fairy too.

They've had questions but I've reassured them.
We feel sad for children who don't believe as santas doesnt come to them.
Santa is a big deal here. Magic dust (glitter) all over fireplace and he (I) trails it up the stairs where he goes to fill their stockings to brimming with toys and goodies. To deny that to a 5,6 7,8 or 9yo hurts my heart.
Your young child is just looking for reassurance.

When your child is looking for reassurance, you don't then lie to them, christ on a bike!

When your primary school kid asks if santa is real, you say "well, i don't know, what do you think?"

Critical thinking is a very underdeveloped skill these days, if your kid is showing signs of it from an early age, don't fob them off with mystical bullshit, engage with them around the origins of the myth and encourage them to find the real magic in Christmas, which is in relationships, giving and receiving, not a fat man breaking into houses.

My 9 yos let on that they believe but I know they don't. It's a bit of fun.theyre maximising in the presents.

My son has just turned 7 (year 2) and still believes. He's never questioned it.

He's one of the older kids in his class and most are still 6.

I think I've got a year or two more left 🤞🏼

Actually saying that, in two years he'll be 9! I doubt he'll believe then.

Gosh that's quite sad! I love Christmas Eve watching Santa on the computer fly over all the countries.

@StuffYouAllInTheCrust

Why spoil the magic? Let kids be kids for goodness sake. My eldest is 10 and no longer believes in the tooth fairy so I’ve told the truth there but she keeps it going for my youngest. She asked if Santa was real about a week ago and I said ‘what do you want to believe?’ and she chooses to believe he is. Though I’m sure she knows the truth who am I to burst her bubble if she wants to magic to continue? Childhood is so short.

Depends what you define as magic really.

DD found it an utterly ridiculous idea that a fairy would want children’s teeth. Her class had just done an experiment about teeth using eggs and a variety of drinks when she lost her first one, and she insisted it be kept in a jar where she could see it so that she could do proper teeth experiments in the future if she wants to. That’s where they’ve all gone.

But take her stargazing and she is mesmerised by the magic of the night sky in the dark. Or how many colours of leaves there are on an autumn walk. There’s real magic everywhere, including the children themselves. No need to fake it for us.

@TicTacTwo

My children worked it out when they were 6ish. I made them promise not to tell their siblings even though they may have known the secret With dc3 he said "If Father Christmas was real then children in poor countries would get loads of stuff including food while kids in rich countries would only get one or two things " which is hard to argue with. We were upfront from the beginning that Father Christmases in grottos etc were actors spreading spirit as the real one was busy all year.

Absolutely this.

Absolutely @Ohalrightthen

I was about 6 or 7 when I stopped believing. My mum said I'd asked questions before that (how does Santa get in when we don't have a real fire, etc) and she'd managed to fob me off (he has a magic key that lets him in the front door), but when I asked her outright, she asked what I thought and then we discussed that he wasn't real.

However, my brother is 6 years younger than me so I got to pretend for him for a few years.

I spent my last Christmas morning with my family when I was 22 and my dad still crept downstairs and made us all wait until he checked if Santa had been

YABU and I wish Santa was real. He gets all the bloody credit and never shoves his fat ass down our chimney. He could kindly shove a sack of cash down to compensate.

I never told my parents I stopped believing in FC. It's a story and I wouldn't want to ruin it. My 9 year old had never told me she stopped believing but she likes stories and recently got money from the tooth fairy. When this happens she seeks out her dad to tell him what she got, she only tells me if I ask, it is almost as if she suspects I already know....
I'm not sure if my 7 yo believes. I'm.sure as hell not going to ask him!

Christ, this is depressing 😦

Little kids really don't "get" Father Christmas until they are 3 or 4 so to expect them to give that up at 6 or 7 is just awful!

My boys were older than most on MN (but all their friends were the same) and they were 10 or 11 when they stopped believing. And no, they weren't trying it on 😒 they genuinely did believe until we told them.

So I'd say please keep it going as long as you can, it's so magical when your kids believe!

I think I would keep it going for this year, then let THE TRUTH be known. 🎅

Me and my Sister had a few tests for Santa. We swapped beds one year to see if he noticed (he did), then the next year we decided to hold hands going to sleep so he would have to break the chain and wake us up (he didn't). I think we were around 5 or 6 at the time, so clearly were getting suspicious.

@MrsJBaptiste

Christ, this is depressing 😦

Little kids really don't "get" Father Christmas until they are 3 or 4 so to expect them to give that up at 6 or 7 is just awful!

My boys were older than most on MN (but all their friends were the same) and they were 10 or 11 when they stopped believing. And no, they weren't trying it on 😒 they genuinely did believe until we told them.

So I'd say please keep it going as long as you can, it's so magical when your kids believe!

Until they get to year 6 or 7 and have the absolute piss ripped out of them for not realising it's bullshit. There's been one in every new yeargroup my husband has ever taught at secondary and it never goes well for them.

If you must tell your child that FC doesn't exist, perhaps because you are worried they'll be bullied in school or something, do it in June!
When I was at school FC came to all kids (all the kids I knew, obviously not in fact all kids) There were no Muslim children in my school at all. My white British daughter has a friendship is group of 2 white British girls and 3 British Asian Muslim girls. I think she probably had it figured out since she started school.