Fed up of our house being used as a dumping ground.

[J1112]

Come here to vent as my ex’s family really annoy me!

Basically DS aged 10 doesn’t see much of his dad tbh. They do buy him stuff. Presents not presence type of thing.

For years it was always his toys and belongings here and belongings over there (other than a few things that DS might bring over here or vice versus). Because of this his stuff as his dads barely got looked at and outgrown quickly as he was hardly there. But this was their fault for buying him too much. I only live in a small house. With younger children. I don’t have room to keep all the stuff ex buys ds. He already has enough here. I don’t mind thing a few things coming over here but no room for everything they buy him as some of the stuff he buys him is utter junk anyway. Plus he already has a lot of the same stuff here (they never ask what he needs or wants). DS has gifts from us, my family, hubby’s family too.

Sooo. DS seen his dad yesterday and has come
home with a bike! I told ex that we have no room in the shed and he’ll have to take it back else it’ll get left outside. He already has a bike where. We don’t need another.

Ex said that I have to keep it. Apparently they bought it 2 years ago and DS has barely played on it (no surprise there) and thought they’d bring it over. I’ve had another look at it and it’s way too small for DS now. DS come home and said he didn’t want to bring it but ex made him. So now I’m left with it. Thinking I may put it on a selling page free to a good home so it’s not hanging around.

Now I’m stuck with a bike they don’t want back. Aibu to think they shouldn’t be using my house as a dumping ground?? For stuff I don’t even want
Nor does DS.

This isn’t the first time it happened. Just last year I was given 2 bin bags of toys that they had bought him but by this point he was too do for the said toys and I had to get rid. Plus another bag of clothes that I’d never seen before all sizes too small.

It’s been a scooter before even though he already has one. Told him we didn’t need it!

We split up 10 years ago. I really don’t want the shit ex buys DS unless DS really wants it here (he’s not really into toys tbh and already has a bike).

I’m just so annoyed!!!!

It’ll be the same Christmas. They will see him for an hour and he’ll come home with stuff he doesn’t need. I sound ungrateful but I wish they’d just ask DS what he would like or need rather than just rubbish or duplicate presents!!

It's easy to say 'sell it' but that involves time and hassle, depending where you live can you just leave outside your front door with a 'help yourself' sign?

@DaddysGirlForLife

Can you pass them down to your younger children?

I can understand your frustration! Its like DS dad is doing a clear out at his house so he's bringing all the sh*t to yours.

This

You say you have younger children, so I would have thought it was a blessing to have a bike/scooter etc ready for a younger sibling.

@ImMoana

Does he live far from you? Just go over there and dump it all on his doorstep. Every time.

This is what I’d do as well.

Do exactly what CakeRequired suggests:

I'd be going 'oh yay, I can sell this and the other stuff for money and buy myself a new bigger TV, thanks!'

He'll probably take it back and try to do that himself.

I feel your frustration OP.

Off load / get rid asap to local charity farra store recycle or with a sign free/ donantion outside your house etc what you can so the physical belongs don't rent precious space in your house or in your head.

Just like other people said already, refuse to take it and warn him if he leaves it you'll put a 'help yourself' label on it. His stuff, his problem.

I used to bag up my kid's old clothing and ship it round to his dad's because twice a year there's a jumble sale for kids clothing and since he's jobless and living off his mum I thought he could do with the money. When I noticed my daughter coming back to me wearing those same clothes because he couldn't be bothered to put some washing on I stopped. Now it goes in the recycling bin. This year due to covid there's no jumble sale and no recycling bin so it's chucked.

Sorry I just realised what I posted was actually not the same thing at all. Hope it was just a brain fart.

I'd speak to your son's teacher and ask if she knows of anyone in the school who could use a good free bike.

Sell the stuff and let your son have the money to buy stuff he actually wants

You are really being walked over here and he is too lazy to get rid of the stuff HE bought.

He needs to dispose of the unwanted items himself and he has no right to complain when you sell it off on a local page.

To prevent him from doing this again (because there will be another time) I would dump all the stuff on his front garden for him to manage.

I can’t understand why you don’t just let him kit out your younger kids with the stuff.

If you are happy not getting any money for it, suggest to your son that he (not you) decides what to do with it. Could be he gives it away for free or could be he would like to (via you) to sell it for his savings.

If it's decided to sell on social media just add "selling for son's pocket money" or something like that. Then they have no come back that won't look bad.

Sell it or donate it and keep useful bits for younger dc

Put it in fb marketplace they have to message rather than comment and you can block them

Put in the ad

“Given to my son but now outgrown so he’s selling to raise money for something he wants”